Hey guys, saw this news story and thought you may enjoy it.... its pretty funny. But the perv got what was coming to him. Freakin creep.


Woman, 88, Puts the 'Squeeze' on Intruder
AOL / Wire Services
comments: 137
filed under: Crime News, Weird News
Text SizeAAA
PORTLAND, Ore. (Dec. 30) - The Multnomah County Sheriff's Office said an 88-year-old woman fended off a intruder by grabbing the man's crotch and squeezing.
Deputy Paul McRedmond said the man got into the house Tuesday through a sliding door. He backed the woman into her living room and pushed her face down onto a chair.

Squeezed Out: Michael G. Dick allegedly walked into an elderly woman's home, , and pushed her into a chair. But the 88-year-old victim got the best of him, reaching around and squeezing his crotch. He bolted, and was soon arrested. She was unharmed.

“I thought it was somebody I knew, but then seeing him without clothing, you know, it’s nobody I knew,” the woman, who said she does not want to be named, told Oregon's KPTV.
She told the television station that he followed her, and kept pushing against her.
"Before whatever plans the suspect might have had, the woman reached behind her and grabbed the man by the crotch, 'giving him a good squeeze'," McRedmond told Oregon's Salem-News. "The man tore free and ran back out the way he had come in."
The woman told KPTV that she recalled an old news story where a woman survived by grabbing her attacker's testicles.
McRedmond said a county code enforcement officer who heard the police call on his radio spotted a car near the woman's house and passed on the license information to authorities.
Troutdale police arrested Michael G. Dick, 46, according to The Oregonian newspaper. Dick has been jailed on accusations of burglary, harassment and private indecency. Bail was set at $110,000.
His last name is Dick too..haha
Her friends are gazing on her,
And on her gaudy bier,
And weep!-oh! to dishonor
Dead beauty with a tear!
They loved her for her wealth-
And they hated her for her pride-
But she grew in feeble health,
And they love her-that she died.
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.

I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
Quote by woMANintheBOX19
His last name is Dick too..haha

Exactly what I was thinking
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

Portugal. The Man »–
He got a reach-around from a grannie.
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.

Limping Head Journalist and Proprietor of PitTown Cricket Club.

Keeping quiet about scandals since 2008.

Richard 'Dick'

Did you know the odds of a Vault-Tec shelter failing are 1,763,497 to 1?

So imagine life in a Vault-Tec Vault. Not just a future.
A brighter future... underground.

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
He deserved it.

Quote by MarshmallowPies
I snapped my high E once and sliced my finger open, so I can only assume snapping the low E would put me into a coma or something.
Wow this sort of thing is becoming common.
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
Quote by Necrophagist777
I'm ORION, LORD OF EVIL, give me your soul and breathe in my darkness.

╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
nice to see old people having fun.
Stand up and cheer if you like SimCity

Play Up Pompey, Pompey Play Up

Quote by goest
I'm going to take this opportunity to initiate my campaign to replace the phrase "Taking a shit" with "Busting a grumpy."
Quote by rockon1824
That is such a great quote. XD

Yeah, I know... I thought so too. I LOLed at it.
“I thought it was somebody I knew, but then seeing him without clothing, you know, it’s nobody I knew,”

Woman around the globe will forever more have the upper hand now.
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
I just saw this on TV 2 minutes ago!
Quote by Jackintehbox
This man knows his beverages.
Quote by 7daycrisis
^somebody get this man 30 million dollars.
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I think I love you. I consider you a prominent UGer.
Quote by Stormx is my IP. Try me.