Page 1 of 2
#1
Ok well pit, I have a dillemma.

My mother is coming back from England, and she and her husband (my step dad) are moving to Southern Oregon. I'd like to go with them for a few reasons:

a) I have no friends here
b) new experience
c) better climate

But the problem is....my mom is WAY over protective. Like....she is nuts. She gets mad at me if I go places without an adult. I'm 16, I never leave the house, (I'm in independent study), I get straight A's. When I was in public school and had a few friends, I couldn't go to a friends house if a parent wasn't there, let alone out to any place. She literally would call the person's house and make sure an adult was there. My dad on the other hand let me go out whenever I wanted, and he let me stay out till 11pm, sometimes 12am. But...where I live now, I ****ing hate it. **** climate, the people suck, I have no friends anymore, and there isn't any nature really. I'm not sure what say my step father will have, he could convince her otherwise. At the same time, I don't think he feels like he has a right to discipline me or tell my mom what I can and cannot do. So pit...what do I do?
#2
Go to your mum. She has to learn to let go of you some day, so it would be best to go with her to speed that up. The tension will build up and at some point things will come to a head and she'll let go.
#4
You should probably just go live with you're mom, maybe with good behaviour she'll lighten up? How long has it been since you lived with her? I mean, what good is freedom if you have no friends and hate it there anyway.
call me Shelby

#5
Quote by Fat-bastard0603
****!

I have the same problem.

A lot of mothers are like this. You just have to argue with them for a few years until they get the picture.
#6
No no....she isn't that type though.
I can see myself getting pissed and not being able to control my anger.
But like....she's insane...she thinks I use aol browser (rofl I use opera but she doesn't know this), and she set the parental controls to 13 and under.
I AM SIXTEEN
Yeah but it's just the thought she thinks I can't handle myself alone with a group of friends or something.
****, I've never gone to a party, I don't have any friends, I'm very responsible, I have good grades.
Wtf else does she want till I'm granted to go places without a parent? It's not like a party...going to a friends house to play guitar is nothing.
Last edited by Z_cup_boy at Jan 1, 2009,
#8
Quote by Z_cup_boy
Wtf else does she want till I'm granted to go places without a parent? It's not like a party...going to a friends house to play guitar is nothing.

Do you talk to her about it?

Do you have any siblings?
#9
Quote by Z_cup_boy
No no....she isn't that type though.
I can see myself getting pissed and not being able to control my anger.
But like....she's insane...she thinks I use aol browser (rofl I use opera but she doesn't know this), and she set the parental controls to 13 and under.
I AM SIXTEEN
Yeah but it's just the thought she thinks I can't handle myself alone with a group of friends or something.
****, I've never gone to a party, I don't have any friends, I'm very responsible, I have good grades.
Wtf else does she want till I'm granted to go places without a parent? It's not like a party...going to a friends house to play guitar is nothing.

But you can go back right? Give it a shot, and if you don't like it, go back.
Quote by LPDave
and my mom then told me to masturbate more.

Quote by Toastbot

Big burly men grunting without shirts on pretty much summed up my childhood.

Quote by The Leader
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do more look like?
#12
whoa whoa, let me get this straight. You have no friends NOW when your with your dad who doesnt care if you go out, but you had friends when you were with your overprotective mother.

Maybe i'm mistaken, but it sounds to me that if you manage to have friends while with your mother, its not quite as bad. But i may be wrong.
#13
No no...my mom has been in england for two years now. I didn't have friends then either. When she left I was just with my dad, and enrolled in public school. i had a few friends then but went into independent study as purely a choice and lost contact with my friends from before. When I move I won't be able to have friends because I'll never be able to hang out with any of them.
#15
look, i know someone who shares the same problems with her mother. if i were you... i'd stay with my dad. even if you don't like the climate where you are, and even though people are jerks there, it's better than having to move far away with someone who can't respect or understand you. just stay where you are now with your dad and try to be more social towards people. you'll make some more friends, and you won't have to deal with your mom breathing down your neck all the time.
#16
Dunno...I'm so sick of this place and every memory I have of here. I'm ****ing done with the people too.
#17
I'll never be able to comprehend a parent not seeing that they are making their child miserable. How could you really be that out of touch with your own family? It's sad really.
#18
Yeah I know, my mother has always been the dominant parent figure though. If I ask her what her reasoning is, she always said, "BECAUSE I SAID SO".
I think she just likes power over something, to be honest. She has problems herself I think.
#19
Quote by Z_cup_boy
Dunno...I'm so sick of this place and every memory I have of here. I'm ****ing done with the people too.



think about it, you can still make good of where you are. if you go with your mom you might only make more bad memories because of the control she keeps putting on you. even if things are rough where you are now they will get better.
#20
You have no idea how much I hate this place though. I ****ing know nobody. Unless I try making friends or something from local schools besides the one I used to go to.
#22
Quote by Z_cup_boy
You have no idea how much I hate this place though. I ****ing know nobody. Unless I try making friends or something from local schools besides the one I used to go to.


branch out then. people don't bite lol. just be friendly. you'll start making friends. i'll assume you play the guitar because well after all, this is UG we're posting on. join a band. start talking to fellow musicians. go to the movies. malls. anything. there's an opportunity to meet someone new everywhere.
#24
Have you tried looking at things from your mother's point of view?
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
#25
Yeah I have. I don't get it...I've never done a thing wrong. I never get in trouble...I have no friends to get into trouble with. even when I did we didn't do anything.
All she says is
"BECAUSE I SAID SO. YOU DON'T NEED AN EXPLANATION".
#26
Quote by Z_cup_boy
Yeah but I dunno how to initiate conversation. At all.


it's not hard to start a conversation at all. just start talking. say you're at the guitarcenter. you see someone looking at a guitar that you have/ know a lot about. just say something like "nice guitar huh? i have the same one and it plays like a dream." and if you're a little lucky there you go. you've started a conversation. just try and find something in common with another person and talk about it! it's not hard to start talking to people. just don't be so shy. if you see someone looking at you or like checking you out, make eye contact and smile at them or something lol. i assure you that they will somehow end up talking to you within a few minutes just because you showed some interest back.
#27
^ If you don't have any friends, how do you end up at other peoples' houses with no parents around?
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
#28
Eh...that still is hard for me. Because I've been in independent study for about 9 months now, I haven't left the house once or seen anyone. I kind of lost all skills socially.
IHGDGJFDGJ
because of Independent Study I don't have friends. when I was in public school I had friends. not that hard to figure out.
I've grown to have a short fuse with people. I get pissed easily.
Last edited by Z_cup_boy at Jan 1, 2009,
#29
Quote by Z_cup_boy
Eh...that still is hard for me. Because I've been in independent study for about 9 months now, I haven't left the house once or seen anyone. I kind of lost all skills socially.
IHGDGJFDGJ
because of Independent Study I don't have friends. when I was in public school I had friends. not that hard to figure out.
I've grown to have a short fuse with people. I get pissed easily.


get more tolerant then. i'm telling you, the only way you'll make friends again is if you gain your social skills back. just talk to people. if they make you mad or whatever, don't yell at them or anything. just leave. say you have to go to the bathroom or something lol. you'll only start making friends if you start talking to people, and being tolerant towards the people who are jerks to you.
#31
Quote by Z_cup_boy
Eh...that still is hard for me. Because I've been in independent study for about 9 months now, I haven't left the house once or seen anyone. I kind of lost all skills socially.
IHGDGJFDGJ
because of Independent Study I don't have friends. when I was in public school I had friends. not that hard to figure out.

Ok, well look at it this way. If you're happier living with your father than you are living with your mom, stay with your father. Sure, things may suck because you don't have very many (or any) friends where you are now, but look at it this way: What, if anything, is going to change when you move? I've seen many of my friends just pick up and leave because they thought a move to a new area was what they needed to pull them out of whatever funk they were in. It didn't work. Once the newness of being in a new place wears off, you'll be dealing with the same issues you're dealing with now, only they'll be worse because you don't get along with your mother very well.
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
Last edited by BigFatSandwich at Jan 1, 2009,
#32
Quote by BigFatSandwich
Ok, well look at it this way. If you're happier living with your father than you are living with your mom, stay with your father. Sure, things may suck because you don't have very many (or any) friends where you are, now, but look at it this way: What, if anything, is going to change when you move? I've seen many of my friends just pick up and leave because they thought a move to a new area was what they needed to pull them out of whatever funk they were in. It didn't work. Once the newness of being in a new place wears off, you'll be dealing with the same issues you're dealing with now, only they'll be worse because you don't get along with your mother very well.


^^what he said^^
#33
I guess...I dunno.
I never really see anyone my age in guitar center, and the GC around here isn't huge/has a lot of people in it. I can't imagine talking to anyone anywhere else...I don't do well talking to groups of people.
#34
Quote by Z_cup_boy
I guess...I dunno.
I never really see anyone my age in guitar center, and the GC around here isn't huge/has a lot of people in it. I can't imagine talking to anyone anywhere else...I don't do well talking to groups of people.

Moving away isn't going to change that.
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
#35
maybe 2 years in england has made her less protective?

still, move, my folks were the same until i was about 15. so yeah, also i assume you play guitar right? guitar should get you friends, its how i meet new people, and introduce the people you would hang out with to your mum, that usually helps. good luck man, hope it helps
Is bad ass one or two words?
#36
exactly. moving isn't going to change that. you have more footing where you are, and from what i'm getting out of this, your dad is way more considerate of your feelings anyway. you don't need to be limited to one place to meet people either. what i said about the whole G.C. thing, don't take it extremely literal. just as more of a guideline as how to act to start talking to someone.

and i promise, it's not hard to talk to people in person. just start getting yourself out there and i'm sure a good opportunity will come your way.
#37
I always feel like people don't want me there though, when I try to talk to them.
#39
Quote by Z_cup_boy
I always feel like people don't want me there though, when I try to talk to them.


not everyone doesn't want you around when you talk to them. if they try to leave, or don't want you to really be talking to them, then don't talk to em'. there's something close to 8 billion people in the world. you have plenty of people to talk to. not all of them don't want to talk to you. and honestly, i think a lot of it is in your head. people like to socialize with other people. they're not all trying to avoid you even if you do feel like they are. i know that for a fact.
#40
Quote by Z_cup_boy
I always feel like people don't want me there though, when I try to talk to them.

Get over it. That's the best advice I can give you. I know it's way easier said than done, but it's what you have to do. Take small steps and just start talking to people. Start up conversation with complete strangers who you have no desire to be friends with. If you see someone wearing a t-shirt of a band that you like, say, "Aw, cool. That's a great band. Have you heard the last CD they put out?" When they answer, you smile, nod, and go on about your business. Do this a few times and you'd be amazed at how much it'll help you out.
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
Page 1 of 2