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#1
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max level.
9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
14. Come into the exam wearing a pair of birkenstocks, and nothing else.
15. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB, BABE, etc..).
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink).
26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"
32. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations.
36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.
37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
38. Bring cheat sheets FROM ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out, too) and staple them to the exam with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
41. One word: Wrestlemania.
42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks,
chairs, anything you can reach.
48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".
50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks".
#5
Quote by SonOfSanguinus
Pretty damn good, son


Don't call me son...all you ever did was run off with cheap whores behind mommy's back and get drunk until 3 am. You were never a father to me! Never!
#8
Quote by eddiethehead888
Don't call me son...all you ever did was run off with cheap whores behind mommy's back and get drunk until 3 am. You were never a father to me! Never!


You mother was one of those whores! How do you think you got here?
#9
Quote by SonOfSanguinus
You mother was one of those whores! How do you think you got here?


No! It can't be true! Mommy loves me! and she loved you too, until you ran off with that prostitute Rosie O Donnell
#11
53 answer every question with... YEAH!!!! and at your name put on James Hetfield!!!
My Gear
B.C. Rich Virgin N.J.
B.C. Rich Warlock N.J.
B.C. Rich Beast I.T.
Epiphone Goth Explorer
Stagg HK-300 (my first electric guitar)
Stagg Semi Acoustic
2 Spanish Guitars
Boss MT-2
Boss ME-50
Marshall 15 watt amp
#12
Quote by eddiethehead888
No! It can't be true! Mommy loves me! and she loved you too, until you ran off with that prostitute Rosie O Donnell

Well she should love you twice as much, she's your SISTER too! You'd better get used to seeing Rosie as well.
#13
Gues i'm 54 now XD
My Gear
B.C. Rich Virgin N.J.
B.C. Rich Warlock N.J.
B.C. Rich Beast I.T.
Epiphone Goth Explorer
Stagg HK-300 (my first electric guitar)
Stagg Semi Acoustic
2 Spanish Guitars
Boss MT-2
Boss ME-50
Marshall 15 watt amp
#14
Quote by SonOfSanguinus
Well she should love you twice as much, she's your SISTER too! You'd better get used to seeing Rosie as well.


Oh god...NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could never get used to seeing that fat piece of shit walk around the house. eating my doritos

Quote by koerok
53 answer every question with... YEAH!!!! and at your name put on James Hetfield!!!


also..as test taking time runs out yell FRAN-TIC-TIC-TIC-TIC-TIC-TIC-TOCK
#15
Quote by koerok
53 answer every question with... YEAH!!!! and at your name put on James Hetfield!!!

yes!
#21
erm... i kind of like passing my exams and not getting thrown out. i guess i'm not kewl enuff for this thread.


My mind is going. I can feel it.
#22
Wow none of those were funny *leaves thread*
UG'S SEXIEST TRANNY 2010

UG'S 3rd HOTTEST CROSSDRESSER 2011
#24
or you could answer every single answer in the exam with biased answers and even questions to make the sensor go "".


a good one is getting eye contact with the teacher, and just stare.
RIP Bernie Mac
RIP Michael Jackson

FUCK YOU DIME!

Quote by Cobain_Is_King
Get 'Cliff is Angry. So so angry' on your ass.

Edit: Then take pictures and send me them.



Genetically engineered and raised by wolverines DAVE MUSTAINE...
#25
54. Bring pistol and shoot up school.
Quote by imdeth
This man deserves my +1

+1

Quote by denizenz
Go in peace my son, and teach to the pit dwellers what I have shown unto you.


ಠ_ಠ


XBL: huffy409
#26
55. Times everything by the Power of Grayskull in a maths exam.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#27
I failed to find the humor.
I'm not a Bible-thumper anymore. Realized I had a brain in '09.

I like guitars, running, and math.
#29
[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']54. Bring pistol and shoot up school.
Ur m@D!
Quote by RoamingConflict
This one dream involved me, one random girl, midgets and a pie.


...and midgets ended up f*cking her. I got the pie.


#30
56. Write every answer out in musical notation. AND your name...
Is
My
Signature Or
What?
#31
Quote by Ed Hunter
55. Times everything by the Power of Grayskull in a maths exam.


Quote by skater dan0
Damn you and your ninja-like modding
#32
Quote by Jackolas
1. Pass.

2. Don't annoy other people.

3. Don't be a prick in general.

i think i will follow these 3 steps rather than the 50+ fail ones that have been mentioned already.
Quote by bearded_monkey
Oh man thats amazing, you win midi pure. I don't care whether it's a competition or not


Quote by halvies


could have been 3 's but there wasn't nearly enough exclamation marks to emphasize the anger/disbelief

oh yeah
#34
For one of my GCSEs last year, I went in sober and left pissed. I didn't do too badly, either, but my essay on "Silas Marner" was terrible!
#36
OOH OOOH i was an expert at this one


click your ankles (usually works best in a room that echos)
build a ****ing tower from your stationary
line up all your penciles etc in height order
trip up the teacher as they walk past (oops)
add to the messages already scribbled on the desk about how bored you are and how the exam sucks
BEAT IT, BUT NOT IN FRONT OF CHILDREN YOU DIRTY C***!-Mel Gimpsuit
#37
one of the funny classics "Find X" then the ------> Here it is

It made me laugh first time.
then i was like.
Shall i laugh again? Yes i shall. haha.
then i was like
HAHAHAHHAHAAHH OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGO LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL OMGOMGOMGOMGLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

*achem*
Aye.
Tim.

You have entered the Twilight Zone
Beyond this world strange things are known
Use this key, unlock the door
See what your fate might have in store
Come explore your dreams' creation
Enter this world of imagination
#38
Quote by TimBFMV
one of the funny classics "Find X" then the ------> Here it is

It made me laugh first time.
then i was like.
Shall i laugh again? Yes i shall. haha.
then i was like
HAHAHAHHAHAAHH OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGO LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL OMGOMGOMGOMGLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

*achem*
Aye.



What can we do with a canoe that will make people say, "Oh No, What's Wrong With Them?"
#40
Quote by SonOfSanguinus
18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.


llol
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