#1
lol


Hi-ho, stagecoach, away!

Squeak and skwak and giggle, low and hard.
jidder and shoogle and stretch out of dodge.
Ping forward arse first like Tom and Jerry,
in a cloud of dust like hi-ho silver.

A tirey bus with the speed of ****e, a cough of smoke, and a farty
'Hi-yo, stagecoach, away!'

One village then two
then three and four and five.
dropping like flies to a six-shooter exhaust.
the still fields exhausted by its sitting,
chittering, fuddering and pawing at the mud.
All excitement and nibbling expectation.
Making a mockery of this dull stretch of road's privation

(c4c)
On vacation from modding = don't pm me with your pish
#2
Damn interesting if I may say so.

However, I hated some of the lines, for simple grammar reasons. I know that these were intentional "mistakes", but I don't think you really thought them through, or read them out. For example, the first two lines of the "verse", the repetetive "and"s made me backtrack, as some were connecting two words, and others were making lists. The only way I find I can really explain this is in maths.

1x2x3x4
Is how the first line is set out, where x=and, but
(1x2)(3x4)
is how it should be.
or something.
imo.

i dont know

this was very interesting.