#1
take a deep breathe
i took a deep breathe
i look for you
but you're nowhere where i can see you
in the corner of my head
you hide me in the clouds

But do i know why?
do i know why?
do i know why?
i fell so deep (in love)

i blame it on the butterflies
and deep blue skies
the hungry nights and tasteful lights
the pretty eyes and hard goodbyes

the hard goodbyes..
the hard goodbyes...

you are everything i need
(you are everything i need)
you make it look so easy
it took me months
to spill these words
on paper
and now it looks
so easy
to make you smile
you make me smile
and still i don't know why
you hold that heart of mine
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros...
Last edited by AtReYuRoCk at Jan 5, 2009,
#3
i was thinking someting along the lines of midwest emo. I wrote this when i was listening to christie front drive so that's where the inspiration came from.
Here my voice goes to ones and zeros...
#4
blame it on the butterflies
and deep blue skies
the hungry nights and tasteful lights
the pretty eyes and hard goodbyes


i like this part, as it answers the question asked above it.

the hard goodbyes..
the hard goodbyes...


and this brings my own memories to mind


i liked the way it went, but the last 4 lines kinda lost me for some reason.
Yea that's right, I want something to explode

I've been deaf, now I want noise

LOUD LOVE
#5
it boils inside
this heart of mine
so don't make me cry
i'll make you cry
and blame the sky
everytime i die.


I would agree with themetalbucket. These lines ruined the end for me. IMO, they aren't as great as the rest. They definitely take on a darker tone, but what really kills it is blandness of this last verse. You could very easily rewrite these, I think, so that it's not peppered with so many cliche phrases. The rhyme scheme here is very difficult to pull off, but I think with the right revision you are fully capable of pulling off. If you could find a way to work around it, then I would suggest going that way.

This is a pretty cool song. This verse, in particular, is my favorite:
i blame it on the butterflies
and deep blue skies
the hungry nights and tasteful lights
the pretty eyes and hard goodbyes

Internal rhyme and contrast you have in these lines is pretty nifty. This verse essentially made the song for me.

My only other crit is minor. I think you're opening verse could be a little stronger. It's a little vague now, and judging by the verse above, I think you can deliver a more substantial opener.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep
#6
I really Like This It Does Bring Back memorys But I Do Agree About The Last 4 Lines
we're all fake until we choose to die
poisoned by love and twisted lie's
#7
I'd change the opening line and the last four or so lines, otherwise, like people have said, great lyrics