Alright, I have a MIM strat. I love it. Feel, look, it's great. I'd like a relic'd look though. The only problem is it has a polyurethane finish, which is basically a plastic coating in terms of thickness. How would I go about relicing it instead of a nitrocellulose finish?

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i'd do it the way it would get reliced anyway. drop it (not hard or from very high) bump it into things stuff like that, then it looks original instead of the taking sand paper look to it which doesnt turn out good imo
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http://www.relicdeluxe.com/ is a great place to start.

You'll never get the same reuslts, but it's do-able to some extent. Obviously refinishing with nitro works best, but there are ways around it. If you remove a great deal of the poly and remove it where necessary, you can then add a few clear coats of nitro over it. That way, the poly provides the colour, but the surface can be treated the same as nitro, it can be worn away and checked more realistically.

Overdoing it looks dreadful, so be sure to look at photos of real 50s and 60s guitars for ideas.
The key is in the subtleties. You can rub brown shoe polish into exposed wood, for example, or gently tap your keyring against the body to make little impressions and indentations (something the Fender guys do during relicing demos, apparently). The hardware can be easily corroded overnight using acid, and I've discovered plastic parts can be easily yellowed, using woodstain thinned with tea!