#1
Hey all,

This is probably one the first predominantly clean songs I have written. It's fairly influenced by opeth's damnation album and green carnation.

I'm not happy with the 'main' solo... I couldn't think of anything that fits.

Anyway C4C, leave a link and i'll get to yours asap
Attachments:
Sleepingbeaut.zip
#2
I liked the intro and as soon as I heard it I thought that a lead would go over this pretty nicely, but the strings did just as well. So far the flow of the song has been good and the riffs sound pretty natural together. The lead at 1:29 is alright, but I think you should have another guitar doing a rhythm underneath it because it sounded like it lacked something.

I didn't really like the lead starting at around 2:59 or so because there wasn't anything too special about it and, to me, it dragged on a bit. 3:40 is a cool section though, but I think some of the swells should be more noticeable, but I know thats difficult to get in GP. I think that strings helped a lot in this part of the song, more than the rest.

Overall I liked the song quite a bit. I think that the only thing it could use is a better solo, like you said. The riffs all work nicely together but I think a melodic lead going over some of them would make this even better. Really good song overall though.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1037972
#3
I'll get more in-depth later (if I remember ^^), but at a first glance it sounds great. Just two things two:

If that full-bend in measure 49 is intentional, I think that out-of-scale C# doesn't sound nice at all (at that point).

Chorus is really nice, but I think that C#m7 has a too sharp feel to it - I'd use a C#m7-5 (which you kinda do in the keyboard section), just my opinion though.
#4
Wow, really liked this. Very harmonic and pretty catchy as well (in a good way!). Okey a bit more detailed;

Intro/Main Riff: Interesting riff that doesn't get boring at all. Instruments enter when you expect them to do. Nothing I can complain about here. The drums made transition to Verse work really well.

Verse: Amazing verse you've got here. Everything is balanced really well.

Chorus: I thnk you could make the bass more interesting. Both of the guitars and keyboard are all playing the same thing, so it would be nice with something else than the root notes who are clearly heard otherwise. The dissonance chord at bar 35 was a bit meh, but I liked what you did at 37-38.

Post Chorus Solo: Perfectly placed solo, just loved it man. Sounds so well thought-through, it's great. You almost get disapointed when the solo ends and you get back to Verse and Chorus, but only to realize that there will be more, so it works out good.

Cool that you came back to the Main Riff, seemed very appropriate. I really, really enjoyed bar 91-94, that kind of soloing fits so well with the whole mood of the song. It would be so much better if you kept on soloing in that style, and then used bar 91-102.

Bridge: Nicely done. Liked how the bass entered at 114, and the guitar part at 115 was really well suited. Cool break at 127. I would appreciate some more soloing at bar 133, it would lift up the whole thing and make it even more interesting to listen to.

And I'm not sure if the last chorus is even needed. As I said, if you add a solo to the last part of the bridge, it could work very well as Climax/Outro-thing.

Overall: Great song, liked it alot!
Last edited by Behzad93 at Jan 5, 2009,
#5
Hey again. I've edited your tab a bit, to make it more interesting and spicy. What I've are the following:

1. Fixed the drumtrack; Edited some fills, added bass drums where there was needed, just looked it over a bit, you know. I haven't really changed the beats, they're still there, I just added some more elements to them.

2. Overlooked the overal sound, paning, cresc. etc.

3. Overdubbed your little riff from the Bridge to the later part where all the instruments play together. Think it sound cool now.

4. Fixed the layout, colors etc.

Hope you like it
Attachments:
Sleeping Beauty.zip
Last edited by Behzad93 at Jan 7, 2009,
#6
holy moses Behzad93, thanks for that! I always have trouble with drumming!

To everyone else I'll be doing return crits in the next few nights, I've just been busy : ).
#7
Very very nice song, indeed. A very pretty song, too. I really liked a lot of it. The intro had an odd time signature, but the riff still remained pretty. The verse was very nice, would be ver ysolid with lyrics which I'm sure you've known that. The chorus, I really liked it as the chords descended in it, it gave me a feel kinda of like sleeping beauty, ( not the music in the movie, just the idea of a beautiful woman, probably reflectant on the songs asthetics. )

I liked the post chorus solo as it went with the song, but as someone already said, that C# full bend is kind of dis-tasteful, perhaps try sliding up annother half-step?

Overall the song was very solid and very pretty. My only suggestions are maybe work on the drumming a little bit and maybe give the verse some sort of lead ( on the electric, I mean. ) The solo was also really nice, and the acoustics after it.

Dig the song. Critique mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1041418
#8
I dont know about others but i love your song.Like you said the solo isn't very good but it doesn't matter.The song is great