#1
i want to write a song
and sing it just for you
but words can't say quite how i feel
words don't know the way
words could never tell you
how much you mean to me today
if i had wings i would fly to you
over the sea and through the trees
we'd spend the sunny afternoon
walking on the breeze


Short but sweet.
Last edited by Hollandmc at Jan 4, 2009,
#2
hey man this was a nice read. It's just one of those things we all feel you know? The only criticism I have is that because it's a common idea, this is nothing really new. It's gotta be fresh if it's gonna deal with something that's dealt with a lot.

The writing was solid though. simple but solid. I'd like to hear more from you

later
Anatomy Anatomy
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Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#3
Thanks... Yeah, it's pretty basic. I wanted to strip away all the complications and difficulties and stuff that surround love and instead show it in its simplest, most innocent form, the result of which was something that's pretty bare-bones and unoriginal. That really doesn't increase its literary value, but I think when you try to encapsulate the essence of love, it's inherently simple, anyway. In and of itself, love is a very basic, simple thing; it's life that makes it confusing.
#4
It is short and sweet.
simple, to the point.
and I really enjoyed it.

Its something that you don't really have to think about,
and you can just take it as it is,
which I think is kind of rare with a lot of love poems.

good job, and keep writing.

Flam·boy·ant
French, from participle of flamboyer to flame
1:Characterized by waving curves suggesting flames
2:Marked by or given to strikingly elaborate or colorful display or behavior