#1
This is the first time i have every posted in this forum so here it goes.


My best friend said that its good so tell me what you think


Crashing In


Nothing makes sense anymore.
My world is falling apart.
I need you for support.
Every thing is getting harder, and
I don’t know how much more I can take.
It feels like im already dead.

Don’t leave me now.
You’re all I have left
You’re the only one by my side now, and
I’m scared to death
If you leave my world will come crashing in.
Over and over again.
(Come crashing in.)

I need somewhere to lay my head.
Somewhere safe to rest awhile.
You’re the only one who can save me
from what im turning into.
I feel different, and
I know I’m never gonna be exactly the same ever again.
Ever again...

(So)

Don’t leave me now.
You’re all I have left
You’re the only one by my side now, and
I’m scared to death
If you leave my world will come crashing in.
Over and over again.
(Come crashing in.)

I am closer now.
Closer than I have ever been.
So close to breaking,
but I know I can’t give in.

Don’t leave me now.
When you’re all I have left
You’re the only one by my side now!

Don’t leave me now.
You’re all I have left
You’re the only one by my side now, and
I’m scared to death
If you leave my world will come crashing in.
Over and over again.
(Come crashing in.)


It isn't all that great so can you help me make it better : )
Thnx
#2
Nothing really makes this unique. Nothing stands out. Sounds like a generic mainstream rock song.

Most of your lines are typical, you know? Try to dig down deeper than words as generic and simple as this. I would say rewrite the whole thing, but keep your idea intact. The song must have a special meaning to you. Just try to come up with something "different".
Last edited by JGsox33 at Jan 5, 2009,
#3
Quote by JGsox33
Nothing really makes this unique. Nothing stands out. Sounds like a generic mainstream rock song.

Most of your lines are typical, you know? Try to dig down deeper than words as generic and simple as this. I would say rewrite the whole thing, but keep your idea intact. The song must have a special meaning to you. Just try to come up with something "different".



ok thnx for your advice i'll try that