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#1
So pit!
What are the lamest jokes you can think of?
they can be as short or as long as you like just post them!

I got one....

Why did the blonde die while raking?

She fell out of the tree


*also, if you have a lame joke about the search bar, pokemon or others, quote the thread and put it in this thread to keep the others spam free
#2
What do clouds wear under their clothes?


Thunderware.
YellowGreenBlueRed


Quote by webbtje
You live in a ruler, the only child of trouser water (?); it's very fantastic, and salami!
#4
why did the scarecrow win a nobel prize?


he was outstanding in his field
To say of what is that it is not, or of what is not that it is, is false, while to say of what is that it is, and of what is not that it is not, is true.


#5
Where does a cow bring his date?

To the SLUAGHTERhouse!

Quote by Crazymike100

You disgust me.


Quote by jack_off_joel
bro u are definately gay


Quote by Oblivion_Rps
A backstabbin' bitch who calls himself the 'oracle'?


Quote by 100%guitarmad
I AM GOING TO HAVE TO REFER TO THE FIRST QUOTE IN YOUR SIGNATURE



UG loves me so much. Do you?

MY NAME IS JACOB. CALL ME THAT.
#6
this thread.
Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you cause
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
#7
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?

Because the cow has the udder!
lololol
GOODBYE BLUE SKY
#8
What's pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff.

What's brown and sticky?

A brown stick.

(If they say a brown stick)

No, $hit you dumbass!
Quote by griffRG7321
become a circumsizer, you get like £60,000 a year + tips.

Quote by Flying Couch
Because I'm not aerodynamic. All the other airborne furniture laugh at me.

LIKE PORTISHEAD?
#9
Why didn't anyone tell Kurt Cobain their secrets?
He'd go shooting his mouth off.

What does Kurt Cobain and ice hockey have in common?
Face Offs in the corner.


Last edited by ANTHRAX† at Jan 5, 2009,
#10
How do you kill a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a pink elephant?

Twist it's trunk until it turns blue, then kill it with a blue elephant gun.
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
#12
Jesus said to his disciples, come forth...

...but they came fifth and won a teapot.
#13
why did the chicken cross the road?

because he was EGGed on.......haha get it???

<_<

>_>




me^ ^SLASH


JIMMY PAGE
ADRIAN SMITH
DAVE MURRAY
#14
Knock Knock

Who's there?

Turnip

Turnip who?

turnip for school tomorrow or you'll be in big trouble.
GOODBYE BLUE SKY
#15
Quote by SoWrongItsMatt
Why did the Chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.


Ah yes, the father of all literal lokes.
Quote by griffRG7321
become a circumsizer, you get like £60,000 a year + tips.

Quote by Flying Couch
Because I'm not aerodynamic. All the other airborne furniture laugh at me.

LIKE PORTISHEAD?
#17
Quote by SoWrongItsMatt
Why did the Chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.



Why did the baby cross the road?

It was stapled to the chicken.


DAMN YOU GUY ABOVE ME!!!
#57 in UG Top 100 2010!

I really ought to get my username changed...
#18
Quote by SoWrongItsMatt
Why did the Chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

If that wasn't such an old, overused joke, and I heard it today, I'd laugh my ass off.

"...to get to the other side. What, are you fuckin' stupid? You think he crossed the road to stay where he was? It's a god damn chicken, man, I don't think it has an ulterior motive."
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#19
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was 2 tired.
♪♫♪
92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Hollywood said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore.
Put this in your signature if you are one of the 92% who wouldn't be breathing.
#20
Knock knock.

Who's there.

Cabbage.

Cabbage who?

How the **** are you not suprised by a talking cabbage.

Also.......


Knock knock.

Who's there.

Banana.

Banana who?

I'm kidding, I'm just drunk.
#21
Where do cows go for fun?
the MOOvies. Man, I hate cow jokes.
Tonight, we stagger out from the basement...


I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.

...Or fall to our deaths from above
#23
i cum blood
Soon, death metal's drums will be so fast only computers will be able to listen to it.

94? Not bad. It shall improve >=)

Who's looking for hosting? My/My Friends site will be up and running soon, looking for customers - PM me if interested.
#24
its horrible tht after a while of reading these jokes to urself straight...u find urself laughing...
#25
Quote by ANTHRAX†
Why didn't anyone tell Kurt Cobain their secrets?
He'd go shooting his mouth off.

What does Kurt Cobain and ice hockey have in common?
Face Offs in the corner.




if it wasnt so bad i would be offended

that said.....lol
Gear:

Fender Squire Telecaster
Amp??
......Screwdriver?
#26
Quote by ANTHRAX†
Why didn't anyone tell Kurt Cobain their secrets?
He'd go shooting his mouth off.

What does Kurt Cobain and ice hockey have in common?
Face Offs in the corner.



on the subject of jokes about cobain heres one:

the best thing kurt cobain ever released was the safety.
My Gear:
Fender '72 Tele Thinline Deluxe Reissue
Vox Night Train 15W
#28
a man wants to buy his wife a present with his hand where does he go?

the second hand store!!!

And go to my profile rate my tab and vote for my tabs thanks!!!
#29
why was Jesus so good with the chicks???

(stretch arms out like you were crucified)

then say

because he was hung like this.
#30
Another lame cow joke
What do you get when you cross a Cow and a Skateboard?

And udder catastrophe.

I know so many lame jokes
GOODBYE BLUE SKY
#31
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

*rimshot*
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#32
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a diet coke. The bartender replies,"Are you sure?" The neutron says,"I'm positive!"
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") He lost his ears to a pyrotechnics display
Please buy him new ears


Boats and Hos!
#33
Quote by imnotinsane
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a diet coke. The bartender replies,"Are you sure?" The neutron says,"I'm positive!"

u mean a proton? neutrons dont have a charge...
My Gear:
Fender '72 Tele Thinline Deluxe Reissue
Vox Night Train 15W
#36
What did one ninja say to the other?

Hi Ya!!!

What did the sensai say to the waitress when asked what he'd like to drink?

I'll have some wa-taaaaah!
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
#37
What's Red and smells like Blue Paint?
...


Red Paint lol!
Quote by Kensai
I'm no fancy doctor, but it sounds like you've got the clap.
#40
Did you hear about the Skeleton that didn't go to the prom?

He had noBODY to go with!

I can't really put this here, that joke's hilarious.
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
Last edited by SoWrongItsMatt at Jan 5, 2009,
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