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#1
So I just finished sticking my finger in my ear and I'm done noodling my brain. If you guys went and stole somebody's rare and/ or ridiculously expensive guitar to see your friend sweat. How would you make the ransom call... what would you say? or If you opted out on the ransom call and decide to leave a ransom note... what you send them and how would you do it? Be creative guys and make this thread epic. I know that you guys know how to be rad. Imagination is mega sexy. I hump and molest mine every day.

RULES:
1. You can't keep the guitar.
2. You can't sell the guitar.
3. It's a ransom and please stay on topic of the thread.
4. Creative/ROFL responses only please.
Last edited by Insignia707 at Jan 6, 2009,
#2
does this count as spam?

just sell it to someone else......
.
..
...
I have no opinion on this matter.
#5
Quote by captain Trips
why do people use the word hella


I changed it for just you. Feel special. I was talking to my friend who's from norcal just now.. He says hella. I didn't even realized i typed it.
#6
Quote by Insignia707
I changed it for just you. Feel special. I was talking to my friend who's from norcal just now.. He says hella. I didn't even realized i typed it.


...


... I like your attitude.
#7
you could be like i done gone stole your guitar lololoL!LO!O!l!!1!!!!!!shift+1!!! and then he'd be like nololololol i will pay munniez ololololololOOL!!!
Every day


is exactly


the same...
#9
This is how I'd do it... I'd send him a finger with a tuning peg from the guitar lodged into the finger. I'd send it one a day... one day for every tuning peg.. so six fingers and six tuning pegs. Then on the seventh day I'd send the ransom note saying. "I chopped of your mom's fingers and I have your mom also... Will you go to the prom with me?"

Come on guys I need somebody to take a stab at this. can anybody make up a more epic ransom note than this?
Last edited by Insignia707 at Jan 6, 2009,
#10
I'd probably keep the guitar.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#11
Quote by Avedas
...


... I like your attitude.



*oooOOOoOOoooo* and I like the fact that your canadian. Could you make me some mad maple syrup after you steal my guitar and ransom it?
#13
Quote by EnyoAdonai
Jawsome!


....

Is that.... a street sharks reference?
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#16
Quote by Insignia707
*oooOOOoOOoooo* and I like the fact that your canadian. Could you make me some mad maple syrup after you steal my guitar and ransom it?


Fuck, I just might.
#17
I'd cut strings. I'd send the strings to him like fingers from a ransomed child.

If he ignored the strings, then he gets frets. Then tuning pegs. Then knobs. I'd tear it apart piece by piece until he'd agree to hand over the ridiculous sum of money I'd demand. Then, when he'd agree to send the money, I'd buy a Starcaster from Target, beat the body to hell, pry off all the frets/knobs/tuning pegs, and sand the paint down to whatever cheap basswood they make those things out of. I'd snap the neck at the bolt that connects the fretboard to the body and UPS the mangled remains to him, with a letter saying "You did not supply the sum fast enough to save your baby."

Then I'd show up at his house with his perfectly-fine guitar and question his sexual preference in a derogatory and humorous way.
Quote by top shelf

I couldn't do it [masturbate] with the cast on however. That's when I dug out my baby sister's stuffed animals and went to town

Quote by Tubyboulin
Is it bad that I imagined you saying that in a really sexy voice?
#19
Quote by NotAGuitarHero
I'd cut strings. I'd send the strings to him like fingers from a ransomed child.

If he ignored the strings, then he gets frets. Then tuning pegs. Then knobs. I'd tear it apart piece by piece until he'd agree to hand over the ridiculous sum of money I'd demand. Then, when he'd agree to send the money, I'd buy a Starcaster from Target, beat the body to hell, pry off all the frets/knobs/tuning pegs, and sand the paint down to whatever cheap basswood they make those things out of. I'd snap the neck at the bolt that connects the fretboard to the body and UPS the mangled remains to him, with a letter saying "You did not supply the sum fast enough to save your baby."

Then I'd show up at his house with his perfectly-fine guitar and question his sexual preference in a derogatory and humorous way.



OMG. lolOLOlololOLOlololol... I don't know you but I heart choo. I ROFL'ed.
Can anybody top that? cuz that was pretty rad.
#20
*picks up phone*
*makes phone call*

me - I have your guitar, give me dome.

*hangs up*
D;
#21
Quote by Insignia707
You can't keep the guitar it's your friends and you're doing it as a prank. lol.


How about I keep it anyway?
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#24
Me: I have your guitar
HIm: alright
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#25
Quote by dann_blood
How about I keep it anyway?



I'm pretty damn sure you're friend would find out and he would sodomize your virgin asshole with multiple pokeman balls that he bought at walmart.
#26
*places phone call*
A) hello?
B) does this sound familiar? *plays fall out boy on expensive guitar*
A) NOOOOOOOO!!!!
B) *makes list of demands*
*hangs up*
Go Veg.
#27
Quote by im not mental
*places phone call*
A) hello?
B) does this sound familiar? *plays fall out boy on expensive guitar*
A) NOOOOOOOO!!!!
B) *makes list of demands*
*hangs up*



I wikes choo... you makes me laugh.

What you should do is make a video and have a michael jackson look a like dance with it while playing FOB's horrendous version of beat it.
#28
I would leave notes in random places about his house.
The first would be inside of his sandwich, and it would say, "My dear friend, i am ever so sorry to break this to you, but since you've eaten half of this note, you simply cannot read where you're precious guitar is. I have hidden it in..." Blank where he's eaten some of the note, and then "God i feel better now! Well, Cheerio!"

Then i'd hide one in his girlfriends vajayjay, saying, "God dude! She smells worse than your mother! Anyways, since her stank-juice hath erased the location, once again you fai..." Then a bunch of smelly, smudgey, stick figures.

So on, and so forth.
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#29
Quote by p o e
I would leave notes in random places about his house.
The first would be inside of his sandwich, and it would say, "My dear friend, i am ever so sorry to break this to you, but since you've eaten half of this note, you simply cannot read where you're precious guitar is. I have hidden it in..." Blank where he's eaten some of the note, and then "God i feel better now! Well, Cheerio!"

Then i'd hide one in his girlfriends vajayjay, saying, "God dude! She smells worse than your mother! Anyways, since her stank-juice hath erased the location, once again you fai..." Then a bunch of smelly, smudgey, stick figures.

So on, and so forth.


Dude, I totally bow down to you. ROFL.
#30
Quote by Insignia707
Dude, I totally bow down to you. ROFL.

Sigged because nobody but you loves me.


Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#31
id tell him to buy me a Les paul custom as an exchange back...oh and a traynor blue 50, and some pedals, and a bimmer, a house, maybe an island

haha jk just the les paul n the amp
#32
Quote by p o e
Sigged because nobody but you loves me.




awww... Epic sad face. I'll be there to back you up. It's a good thing I'm a girl with a sturdy back. I'll lift you up and throw you in the face of anybody that defies you. Muahahahaahaha.
#33
Quote by Insignia707
awww... Epic sad face. I'll be there to back you up. It's a good thing I'm a girl with a sturdy back. I'll lift you up and throw you in the face of anybody that defies you. Muahahahaahaha.

God, i don't know that you could do that, Ma'am. I mean, besides my natural weight, i tend to carry a lot of junk in my pockets.

Ya know, basic stuff.
A comb, iPod, picks, hair from my mothers ass, a toad, slides, a picture of my girlfriend... Ya know.
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#36
Quote by Pac_man0123
*steals guitar*
*sends note*
"Hey noob, john petrucci here. You suck at guitar so im going to sacrifice it to my godly guitars to keep them from going on a killing rampage. Kthxbai.

Love,

Your God, John Petrucci"


I would cry myself to sleep if that happened to me.

Then again, I don't have an expensive guitar.
#37
I'd feed it to the fireplace and laugh.
hide your kids, hide your wife.

Quote by angus_young_32
I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.


UG Hatecrew FTW
#38
I'm in my house, masturbating to your guitar. Hand over the loot or its future looks sticky
WTLTL 2011
#40
I would send it to Mick Jagger, piece by piece, with locks of my girlfriends hair that I would cut from her head whilst she slept.
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