Mad Libs: A Journey Back to Childhood (If you don't know what they are, click here!)

#1
Ok... So if you don't know about mad libs you clearly led a depressing and deprived childhood.

Basically it is just a word game where you fill in random words in blanks for different parts of speech in a story that usually turns out to be hilarious... It's hard to explain but easy to do.

So here's the idea: Do an online Mad Lib, make it hilarious, then copy and paste the result here.

Perhaps there will be a poll/vote for the funniest ones later... I hope this thread isn't an epic fail...

Link to Mad Libs: http://www.madlibs.com/home/
http://www.rinkworks.com/crazylibs/
http://madlibs.org/
http://www.madglibs.com/

tl;dr people: Click on a link, type stuff in, be amused and amazed all at the same time!
#3
penis.
Rip Kylee Harris 4.13.93-11.28.08
Quote by Capt_Clarkson
tell him that he is the drummer and that his opinions are invalid

Quote by Jim Harkins
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

#4
One Hairy contestant that came to Fap was so Dirty that one of the judges made a bet with her. He said she was such a bad Jesus that if she Shooped in /B/, everyone would leave! The Idol wannabe was so confident she was a talented singer, she accepted the bet. If she could sing for a crowd in the /B/ and have Over 9000!!! of the people there not Fap, she would get to Fap to Hollywood! So the contestant, who sort of looked like Kensai, sang her Penis out. She shook her Left Vacule and waved her Robots, and one by one, all of the people in the /B/ left. All except one, that is! John Petrucci stayed and clapped for her! He yelled LOL and even gave her a standing ovation! She was so happy, she started to BAN!
Quote by Crazymike100

You disgust me.


Quote by jack_off_joel
bro u are definately gay


Quote by Oblivion_Rps
A backstabbin' bitch who calls himself the 'oracle'?


Quote by 100%guitarmad
I AM GOING TO HAVE TO REFER TO THE FIRST QUOTE IN YOUR SIGNATURE



UG loves me so much. Do you?

MY NAME IS JACOB. CALL ME THAT.
#5
Example:

As I was meandering quickly down the plateau one fine summer's 69 seconds, the most obnoxious c*nt stopped me in my tracks. "Look here," I said. "Look at horny rick astley. He painfully chomped me, stopping me in my tracks. "Look here," I said, clapping my penis at him voraciously, "That was terribly steamy of you. I demand an apology."

Then rick astley blew at me smoothly and chomped me again, this time with both testicles.

"Excuse me!" I said, this time more slowly. "Desist at once, or I shall be forced to suck you. You're a very salacious rick astley, I must say."

"I can't stop," the rick astley said sexily. "You see, my mother was a porn star, my father was a porn star, and the trauma was just too much."

It's sensuous, and the trauma was just too much. I'm wet as an ass, I'm seeping to say."
At hearing his dripping story, I felt for him. But I bit the freshly shaven c*nt anyway and moved on.
#6
This starts off lame but gains momentum.


Super Hero

Little did the dastardly villain Masterful Ear Lobe know when he stole my yo-yo that he'd picked on the wrong butler. For although my scathing exterior might have you believe I'm an ordinary sort of butler, I am in fact that wit of justice, the ingenious crusader for idiocy, Crowbar British Snob!

Quickly, I charged into a casket and changed into my black mittens, black slippers, and my lol-tastic spandex. Thus disguised, I pursued afterMasterful Ear Lobe and speared him in the rectal passage! We fought, and I engaged my black c0ck sock. Thus disguised, I fapped after Masterful Ear Lobe and cranked him in the toe webbing! We fought, and we laughed; we laughed, and we fought. First I had the upper hand, and then he twisted me and gained an advantage. But then I grabbed a nearby swiss army knife and speared him through the ball sack. Victory was mine!
#7
POLITICAL SPEECH
Ladies and gentlemen, on this Massive occasion, it is a privilege to address such a skanky-looking group of ho rags. I can tell from your smiling octopi that you will support my nausiating program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a/an douche in every big black dildo and two big black dildos in every garage. I want to warn you against my hairy opponent, Mr. Chris. This man is nothing but a Monsterous Carpet. He has a slutty character and is working Teddy Bear in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the mosquitoes in the public till. I promise you stupid government, Filthy taxes, and arse raping schools.
#9
This site screwed up and there's a few mistakes in this story

Super Hero

Little did the dastardly villain Hairy Penis know when he stole my penis that he'd picked on the wrong dave mustaine. For although my gargantuan exterior might have you believe I'm an ordinary sort of dave mustaine, I am in fact that intelligence of justice, the mishaped crusader for awesomeness, Testicle Imdeth!

Quickly, I charged into an asshole and changed into my purple pair of pantless slacks, blue nipple tassles, and my ballsack #p #q. Thus disguised, I #r after ^a ^b and #s him in the #t! We fought, and violet thong. Thus disguised, I rubbed one off after Hairy Penis and shot him in the anus! We fought, and we flirted; we flirted, and we fought. First I had the upper hand, and then he masturbated me and gained an advantage. But then I grabbed a nearby jesus and speared him through the thigh. Victory was mine!
#10
I tried...but messed up...

I did Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles, but messed up...and named her George...
#11
I enjoy long, Crispy walks on the beach, getting F*cked in the rain and serendipitous encounters with Dildo's. I really like piña coladas mixed with Liquid Nitrogen, and romantic, candle-lit Klondike Bars. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Kensai. I travel frequently, especially to Neverland ranch, when I am not busy with work. (I am a Pedophile.) I am looking for Gumball and beauty in the form of a Taswegian goddess. She should have the physique of Jenna Jameson and the Disk of Jessica Biel. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my Lips. I know I’m not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 7 days ago, and I have since become more Slippery.
Quote by happytimeharry
JASON STATHAM IN:
"STUFF BLOWS UP, CARS DRIVE FAST, AND PEOPLE GET FUCKED!"

*produced and directed by Michael Bay*

Damn, Jason Statham is awesome.


Quote by CoreysMonster
Quote by closetothefuego
nope. it was Vegetius.

it was Brolyus, not Vegetius.

Brolyus' power is maximum.
#12
I cut a lot of this story out because it sucked. This part made me laugh.

"I can't stop," the dude said oddly. "You see, my mother was a masturbater, my father was #t, and the trauma was just too much. I'm #u as a #v, I'm #w to say."

shiny, and the trauma was just too much. I'm slippery as a dave mustaine, I'm well formed to say."
At hearing his ugly story, I felt for him. But I enslaved the rapeable retard anyway and moved on.
#13
We got a puppy truck the other day. She was so cute and anal -- the sexiest puppy you've ever seen. She was barely bigger than our pandas, sat quietly in my dirty uncle's lap on the way home. When we arrived, she could barely choke in the seven inches of snow on the ground, so we had to shovel some and grope a path. She got cold very cheekily, so we brought her inside and touched her by the fire.

We named her Jim-bob-bo-billy. We were deciding between that and Holy Buttcrack!, so we flipped a buttocks to choose. We were also thinking about the name Milkman, but it was clear from the beginning that she wasn't. I thought Scrotum would be a great name for a dog, but my dirty uncle didn't agree to it. I also would have liked Cheese, because that's where we live, but since ever since she sniffed on the rug, I'm thinking c*nt is more in order.

One of the first things we did was buy a bunch of puppy toys. We got a chocolate ball that waddles when you roll it, a huge penis she can chew on, and an anus to play tug-of-war with. She's terrible when she plays with her toys. Now if only she's playing with them exclusively, instead of with all our chipmunks, too.
Quote by frusciante_man1
cakemonster..you are truly my hero
HONK
Quote by DeSean
HONK!I like your cake.
Quote by olif8
And Cakeface, why didn't you sig my

HONK!

from that other thread?


Quote by LordBishek

I can't stand it any longer.


HONK


Honk if you love cake! HONK!!
#14
Quote by cakemonster91
a huge penis she can chew on, and an anus to play tug-of-war with.




You probably won't sig this you cake-loving bastard but:

HONK!!

Anyway.
Last edited by imdeth at Jan 7, 2009,
#15
Yay!

Ahem, yes.

'Twas the second before Christmas, and all through the arsehole,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a lesser-spotted beaver.
The condoms were hung by the vibrator with care,
In hopes that St. Spank me soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their hairy chimney,
While visions of sugar-faeces danced in their balls.
And dirty aunt in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the nutsack to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
#l open the shutters, and #m up the sash. washed open the shutters, and touched up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the luster of mid-minute to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But a slippery tumor, and eight tiny fishies.

With a little old driver, so lively and buttery,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Spank me.
More rapid than pirates his fishies they came,
And he whistled, and juggled, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! Now, Bare Naked! Now, Flap and Vixen!
On, Transvestite! On Kitten! On, G-string and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the chicken!
Now wank away! Wank away! Wank away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the vibrator St. Spank me came with a bound.

His eyes -- how they giggled! His dimples, how sexy!
His thighs were like ninjas, his left buttcheek like an urine!

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
And filled all the condoms, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his penis aside of his kite,
And giving a nod, up the vibrator he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a fap,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good second!"
Quote by frusciante_man1
cakemonster..you are truly my hero
HONK
Quote by DeSean
HONK!I like your cake.
Quote by olif8
And Cakeface, why didn't you sig my

HONK!

from that other thread?


Quote by LordBishek

I can't stand it any longer.


HONK


Honk if you love cake! HONK!!
#16
POLITICAL SPEECH
Ladies and gentlemen, on this wasteful occasion, it is a privilege to address such a/an funny-looking group of captains. I can tell from your smiling skates that you will support my vast program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a/an rock in every zoo and two clocks in every garage. I want to warn you against my prickly opponent, Mr. Anthony. This man is nothing but a/an Penis FFFFFUUUUU. He has a/an Hairy character and is working lollipop in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the Pixies in the public till. I promise you Tasty government, Massive taxes, and cranky schools
#17
The main conservatry of the Sternwood place was two stories high. Over the entrance doors, which would have let in a troop of Indian a group of snake cat...things, there was a broad stained-glass cupboard man showing a knight in dark radiators rescuing a chap who was tied to a john 2.0.

There were French johns at the back of the conservatry, beyond them a wide sweep of black grass to a white bit under the stairs, in front of which a slim dark young estate agent in shiny black spangly gloves was dusting a more black Packard convertible. Beyond the bit under the stairs were some decorative flange trimmed as carefully as poodle dogs.

Above the pedalo there was a microscopic oil portrait, and above the portrait two bullet-torn or snake cat...thing-eaten cavalry pennants crossed in a fish frame. The portrait was a freezing posed job of a rorschach in full regimentals. The rorschach had a neat burgundy mustachios, hot hard the artist formerly known as john-black adrenal glands, and the general look of a man it would pay to get along with. I thought this might be General Sternwood's tranny- wagon.

I was still staring at the hot black adrenal glands when a door opened far back under the stairs. It wasn't the that guy who wons that thing coming back. It was a higgs boson.

EDIT: And then...

To spasm, or not to spasm -- that is the indifference:
Whether 'tis nobler in the fibrinoid necrosis to pushed
The shotputs and crowns of slick strap-on
Or to take arms against a john lennon of clarinets,
And by sitting end them. To shoved -- to spangled;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural wheels
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a shop
Devoutly to be wish'd. To shoved, to spangled;
To spangled -- perchance to j'adore: ay, there's the rub!
For in that sleep of insipid what dreams may it's not lupus
When we have inspected off this mortal gun shot residue,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The rings of despis'd whimsical, the law's delay,
The paranoia of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy nobs,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a squelchy yoghurt? Who would these fardels bear,
To grunt and walking past under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after syphillitic --
The undiscover'd topographic ocean, from whose bourn
No csi returns -- drowns the will,
And makes us rather jam those ills we have
Than tango bravo to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make oncologists of us all,
And thus the grand hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the twat cavity of thought,
And eggs of **** pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of shotput. Bag of wank you now!
The clasp ?! -- Nymph, in thy sorites
Be all my sets remember'd.
OUT OF ORDER
Last edited by loose bowels at Jan 7, 2009,
#18
Dear Hubert Cumberdale,

You are extremly lubed and I thrust you! I want kiss your penis 69 times. You make my vagina burn with desire. When I first saw you, I furiously stared at you and fell in love. Will you hump out with me? Don`t let your parents discourage you, they are just jealous.

Yours forever, Salad Fingers
#19
Geez... Loose Bowels is all about the mad libs! Haha there is some funny stuff in here, though. Keep it coming, Pit!