Umm, bored, wrote a song...wrote it in 5 mins, so c4c if u want

this has nothing to do with me

Verse 1
every night, she chokes that bottle down
drinking and drinking, till she passes out on the ground.
when she wakes up, all hell breaks loose,
then she goes and drinks another bottle or 2

Verse 2
after she drinks, and we run out,
she sends her husband to grab another round
he comes back, she drinks again,
gets drunk, and hits me over and over again
sometimes, i just wonder why,
but after some thinking i finally realize

That i am the reason for her depression,
i am the reason, for this recession
i am the reason why she wants to die,
and she is the reason why i cry every night

Verse 3
the beatings come every time she is drunk,
i think my final ship has sunk,
one final blow to the head, this will be it,
i just hope that it happens real quick,
i turn around, and i see nothing but black,
and then all of it starts to come back.....

Last edited by darkrikku at Jan 7, 2009,
Ah, sad song. Meaningful, and sends a message of how dangerous alcoholism is. Nice piece. Also, thanks for your crit. :]
"wrote it in 5 mins"
It shows.

Write out your numbers in words.

Really, backing up the idea was nothing more than cliches.
Last edited by ginjaninja at Jan 8, 2009,
Dude I necessarily agree with the post above mine, this was really deep. We have similar theme in our writing.
I actually agree with ginjaninja, a lot of it sounds sort of cliche. Like of heard all that before. I think the chorus was the best part though, I tend to write things like that so I enjoyed reading that part.
If you were to write the song about alcoholism but hide it behind other words, it's hard to explain for example an angry sea - this doesn't mean that the sea is pissed off lol it suggests a storm, don't be so blunt about the meaning of your song, hide it away so people will have to think about it. A good example would be nirvana's rape me! This song is about the media's obsession with everything in Kurt's life, it doesn't mean he got taken down a back ally and raped lol. But overall it's quite good