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#1
Ok........today was my first day back at my crappy job. I work at a grocery store (I won't say the name). I am a clerk and occasionally I'll help people out with their groceries.


Today was a usual day- I got paid for a week off which was sweet..and long story short I didn't want to go back to work.

I don't know how many of you read my other thread but long story short I was dumped just before New Years and have been single since- I have been unusually horny and today at work I got sent home and have a meeting tomorrow with the owner and his business partner.

Here is why:

This girl came in and I don't know what it was she just had this lure going on. She was unbelievably hot and he had the most amazing ass- I was helping her put her groceries in her car and she dropped a pack of Kraft Dinner in the snow, so I went to reach for it but she bent over, her thong was poking up out of her pants and I saw her nipples get hard from the cold in her tight shirt with her jacket undone. We had a silent moment and she thanked me for helping her.

I don't know what the hell was with the perfume she had on, it was like a primal lure. I had the smell in my nose and her smile and beautiful ass on my mind. I went back in and went to the employee toilets.

I ran hot water over my hands then went in the stall and started jerking off. (I couldn't ****ing control myself.)

So anyways, I'm in there for a couple minutes and I'm done.

Now for the problem.

I was positive I was the only one in there and I was (I think), but when I came out of the stall I washed my hands and then took a papertowel and wiped my dick. I turned around and my fucking boss said "What exactly are you doing?" and he was standing at the doorway. I don't think he saw my dick.....

Apparently the door lock isn't working and he opened the door to use the stall and saw my feet standing there. I don't make much noise when I'm fapping, but I think I let out a noise when I came, and I can't believe he was standing there. To make it worse, I have had 2 warnings in the last year.

He told me what I did was illegal and sent me home. I got a phone message on my machine from the day shift manager saying "Tomorrow morning come in with your work uniform for a meeting".

My roommate says I can get charged for masturbating in public? What the hell....I guess the lesser of two evils is a simple firing..

Can I get charged criminally for this? Can I fight it if so? It's not like he saw me tugging it and there are no cameras- even if there were thats illegal anyways..


tl dr - I got caught (kind of) fapping at work in the employee toilet stall. God damn amazing hottie with a lure caused me to do it, now I'm gonna lose my job and I might get charged criminally? Plus I didn't even get her number or anything......
#9
There's no way in hell you can get charged for doing that in a washroom stall.

If the manager says he heard you doing stuff make up an excuse. Unless he physically saw you doing anything they have no proof.
#11
Damn dude. You are prob gonna get fired, and that could be looked at as lewd acts in public. That should be a misdemeanor though, but I don't think that your boss will file charges that just would sound lovely in court.
Quote by Survivalism
The Dual Rectifier is my sexy finishing move.


Quote by Survivalism
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#12
No because at the moment it is simply your word vs his. He says you did, you say you didnt, not much of a case without a third party witness, however since you did freely admit to it on an online forum that can be used as evidence against you if there was a law concerning that in your state.
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With boys it's like "here's an incredibly complex sport to learn with sophisticated rules and various interdependent roles to play in a social unit."

For girls it's like "here's Barbie...you're fat!"
#13
Quote by MeltingWaxFace


This girl came in and I don't know what it was she just had this lure going on. She was unbelievably hot and he had the most amazing ass- I was helping her put her groceries in her car and she dropped a pack of Kraft Dinner in the snow, so I went to reach for it but she bent over, her thong was poking up out of her pants and I saw her nipples get hard from the cold in her tight shirt with her jacket undone. We had a silent moment and she thanked me for helping her.




you swing that way?
Holden Caulfield is a friend of mine.
We go drinking from time to time.
#14
Public Indecency. You might get fined or something, but that's about it. Oh, and you'll be fired.
#15
Lol, i doubt it. Even if they could fire you i think they'll just give a "slap on the hand", and they asked you to wear your uniform, so i think that shows intentions of keeping you on.
#19
Dude that one guy is right you should delete this, lol we could all get called to court to testify against you lol.
Quote by Survivalism
The Dual Rectifier is my sexy finishing move.


Quote by Survivalism
Nobody knows the words to Evenflow, they all just go "bramamamamamamamamaamamamabooowwllofcornflakes"
#20

Oh, god. That should be a fun discussion tomorrow! Fill us in?
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

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#21
It wasn't in public though, he locked himself in a bathroom. It's not like it was in the middle of a crowded street. So nothing criminal.

That said, you probably shouldn't do it at work, and they probably should fire you for it.
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i have a right to do anything with the least amount of activity possible and if u cant respect that u can go to japan and buy panties out of vending machines...communists


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#22
Quote by Shredxmyheart
you swing that way?

LMAO


I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#23
after trying to come up with something original to say and failing, i'm going to give you some useful advice.

he has absolutely no proof that you were masturbating, so don't admit to anything. You're likely going to get fired, but it'd be better not to fight it and to just quit, lest you want to spend every day working with people who know you were jerking off in the bathroom. Besides, it's just a grocery store job.

edit- and yes, jerking off in a grocery store bathroom stall is illegal. It's a public place.
Last edited by Glen'sHeroicAct at Jan 8, 2009,
#24
Quote by nodice182
It wasn't in public though, he locked himself in a bathroom. It's not like it was in the middle of a crowded street. So nothing criminal.

That said, you probably shouldn't do it at work, and they probably should fire you for it.


Bathroom was public property.
#25


Learn some self control
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#28
Well this is the thing- he never saw me actually fapping. He most definitely heard me though...and plus, when I came out I had my pants up, but I washed my dick quickly then put a paper towel there to dry it off so my boxers didn't get wet- thats when he said "What exactly are you doing"

This much I know-

He most likely heard me "finishing".

He saw my back and me put a towel down the front of my pants.

When I turned and I saw him in the doorway, I was 3/4 zipped up with the button undone-

Like I said I don't think he saw my dick.

So this is his evidence. I might use that "I was shaking it after I peed" or I might say "I got caught in my zipper and was bleeding so thats why I put the towel down".

#29
Before he fires you, give him the classic, "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, BECAUSE I QUIT!"
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#30
If he didn't actually see you, then make up a story about a rash or something that correlates with penile caressing.
#31
Quote by Kwonnie
Bathroom was public property.

I thought it was an employee bathroom, so it was at least privately owned. . .

I could be very wrong here. Whatevs.
Quote by juancsego
i have a right to do anything with the least amount of activity possible and if u cant respect that u can go to japan and buy panties out of vending machines...communists


If you live in Australia, save your internet:

Click.
#32
Quote by IMABBALLPLAYER
Before he fires you, give him the classic, "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, BECAUSE I QUIT!"


Better yet, just nonchalantly pull your wank out when you have your private meeting with him and rub one out. See how bad he freaks out.
Holden Caulfield is a friend of mine.
We go drinking from time to time.
#33

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youmakemesmile...

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Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#34
Quote by IMABBALLPLAYER
Before he fires you, give him the classic, "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, BECAUSE I QUIT!"

That's a rly good idea.
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#36
Dude, ask him why he was listening to you in the bathroom, or why he was standing in the doorway. I'm pretty sure THAT is illegal.
#37
the worst that happen is that you'll get fired

but be positive maybe he just wants the chicks number... or yours
#39
...you know, if you think about it, UG is less a guitar site and more of a gathering place for sexual deviants.
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My weirdest dream would have to be when I dreamed that I met this chick I really liked and wanted to practice sex, so I practiced on some guy I met at a gas station...that was pretty screwed up.
#40
Quote by Dog--
Dude, ask him why he was listening to you in the bathroom, or why he was standing in the doorway. I'm pretty sure THAT is illegal.

Yeah, I don't really see the 'NO U' working in this case.
Quote by juancsego
i have a right to do anything with the least amount of activity possible and if u cant respect that u can go to japan and buy panties out of vending machines...communists


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