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#1
First off, I'm Asian. My parents are Asian. But this is about my parents, not me. Unfortunately, my parents would probably fall into all the Asian stereotypes.. Right now, I'm getting straight A's, and they're pissed off that I don't study enough and play too much guitar. Yeah, just now they lectured about life and succeeding for like an hour -_-.. Well to be honest, I probably spend about an hour max doing hw and school stuff, and practice guitar for around 2 hours. They say even if i have all A's, I should still study because.. I should.. since I'm a student, and that I shouldn't spend too much time playing guitar since it's only a hobby and it won't matter in the future. Playing with friends, having fun, going out anywhere, all falls in to the "useless to the future" category to them and would say I should get like very minimum of it.

Anyway, I obviously think Asian parents have very bad concepts of life and how they think. So this is a question to the adults in UG, if you'd please help me out ..
How have you spent your time as a student? Do you wish you had Asian parents to force you to study some more? Do you regret not having enough fun while you were young? Are you happy with whatever lifestyle you have whichever one it was?
#2
Tell them you're Asian, they'll understand.

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#4
One hour of school work a day?! Straight A's?! What grade are you in?
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#5
Quote by b4t3man
One hour of school work a day?! Straight A's?! What grade are you in?


It's really not that hard...
#7
Well... Look at Herman Li.

Okay jokes aside...

I'm classified as "asian" if you consider Filipino "asian". My parents wouldn't give a rats ass if I played guitar 8 hours a day. No joke. I don't get Straight A's but I do try my best and that's what you should tell your parents.

I'm not an adult, i'm 15 and my parents have given me freedom to do what I want and they support me in whatever I do.

Also, another side note. Whatever career you intend to go into... You need common sense and some common knowledge about the World around you and not be engulfed by a sea of study. That's the problem now a days that lots of people who want to go into high paid fields like Medicine just don't have the common knowledge and they got there by studying insanely hard.
#8
heh i had that problem wen i was like 12... i just ignored them and turned up the volume on my amp.... even if it was a crappy little 5w.... if they don't gfet the message tell them to piss off
#9
Quote by 1337guitarplayr
Anyway, I obviously think Asian parents have very bad concepts of life and how they think.


Not necessarily bad, just different, They want you to be a successful adult who works hard, because that is what they value. You obviously value different things, or at least in a different way to what they do.

You just need to talk to them and explain that your priorities and values are different to theirs, and come to some sort of understanding.
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#10
Quote by Avedas
It's really not that hard...


Maybe in Canada...
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#11
i can honestly say im nearly topping my state in everything academic, and i havent done homework in 4 years man, all guitar hahha
but i have an asian friend just like you at my school
show them information that shows having hobbies to take your mind off studying helps your schooling and your home free
just keep your grades up and ur home!
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#13
Quote by b4t3man
One hour of school work a day?! Straight A's?! What grade are you in?


If I had put in an hour of study a day when I was in school, I probably would have got straight A's too.

Instead I enjoyed my life and worked hard as hell the night before things were due, and I ended up being 2nd in my year, after the girl who never went out and spent all her free time studying. Good result I say.

Anyway, if you're getting all A's, you can't do any better. Your parents need to understand that if you never have any fun, you'll end up just like them. Yuck.

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#14
Well if you're in the US, you should study stuff beyond school if you want to be intelligent because our public schools are an utter and absolute joke.

I had relatively poor study habits in high school and college, but had enough of an attention span to do well despite this. As long as you cultivate the ability to concentrate heavily on what you're studying you're already ahead of everyone else in this text-message, multi-task, youtube, ADD world--granted being ahead of the average is still nothing to brag about.

As long as your hobby is productive and educational, something that really betters you as a person, it's never time wasted IMO. Playing guitar is valuable because it teaches you a skill that lets you contribute to the culture and community around you--that's a type of success right there, like someone who plays football as a kid then coaches later, or someone that loves cinema and then hosts film festivals in her community, you're guitar hobby can help you contribute and can foreseeably become a productive part of your future (even if it has nothing to do with your career).

Just my two cents.
#15
Quote by b4t3man
Maybe in Canada...


Well, it is for a lot of people I guess.
#16
dad says if i **** up then ill be ****ed up and stay ****ed up

so i try not to **** up

but if i was asian i wouldn't need to worry about ****ing up
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#18
Quote by Avedas
Well, it is for a lot of people I guess.


I don't get that. Are we talking an hour per subject or an hour for ALL subjects. And is this including doing assignments or just going over stuff.
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Trust me man, it's Smoke on the Water. Deep Purple only wrote one song.
#19
I go to a really good college, and to be honest, I wish I had smoked a ****load more weed in high school, played more guitar, and just relaxed. I'm getting straight A's and I always have. As long as you have good grades, why should they care what you do in your free time?
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#20
...sounds like my parents. They're asian. You can't talk sense into them. They'll just ignore you.
#21
Quote by b4t3man
I don't get that. Are we talking an hour per subject or an hour for ALL subjects. And is this including doing assignments or just going over stuff.


I think TS means for all subjects and I would assume assignments as well. He may just be averaging though. There are definitely times where you'll end up spending the entire day working.
#22
We're two people in my class who kind of "stand out" in comparison to the others, if you get what I mean. It's me and my friend. Only difference, I'd say, between him and me is he studies about 10 times more than I do. I pretty much learn everything in class and study when I'm honestly uncertain about something for a test or whatever. I don't practice guitar all that much really, but guitar and drums plus other things of my liking are just more interesting. Which I guess is why I excel in those subjects (music, art) in comparison to my friend.

Then there's also my other friend, who pretty much never studies anything. Or at least he didn't, before. He does not receive the same results as I do, not because he's dumb, but because he's even more disinterested in school than I am. But I'm not really disinterested in that way, it's just not the best thing in the world.

My parents witness my good results and encourage me to keep those in whatever way I see fit. They don't want me to study more and receive even higher grades, unless I want to. They certainly don't want me to perform below my potential either, although I can't see that ever happening. They really never push me in any way.
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#23
Quote by Avedas
I think TS means for all subjects and I would assume assignments as well. He may just be averaging though. There are definitely times where you'll end up spending the entire day working.


True. I guess I also take a while to understand things, especially in Chem, but whatever. I get decent results though so meh.
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#24
ahh hehro, so when we attacking the us?
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#25
TS: Do you know what the other asian stereotype is? It's that they are really smart. It's no coincidence. Just think about it...
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#27
i have one asian parent that's pretty lenient about everything.
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#28
Goddamit I hate Asian parents I have a Asian mom (half Chinese you see ) and they really put high expectations. Seriously, I understand.

But the thing I like about my parents is that the spoil me like hell if I do well. Thats ONLY if I do well and yes, I know, they don't really praise you enough? Well they are just like that.

They more expect of you to get good grades than anything else tbh.

Tbh I think my mom has been a little less strict over time so its pretty good now
#29
You just have to be assertive about your passions. I am Chinese and my mom is generally against me studying music in a conservatory. She is worried about my future wellbeing and whatnot, but ultimately I had to make it clear that this is my life and my pursuit, and my life wouldn't mean anything if I don't get to where I want to be.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#30
Just do want you want to do man. It's your life.

Your obviously intelligent so your not gonna be a homeless man playing his acoustic in a crackhouse busking for Ice.

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#31
Azns are hot. Pics of your mother or a sister if you have one? OR GTFO!!
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#32
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I concur

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#33
I'm asian as well and my parents stop the whole getting A's thing once I got a 2.6 GPA for my freshmen year lol. Now they just want me to get my BS so I can make money to pay them back for the miseries I caused them (and college tuition).

Asians are competitive about everything, and as long as you get good grades, they can brag about it to your families and their friends. Pretty stupid, but my aunt would not STFU about my cousin who, I admit, is very smart (at least 4.0 GPA average throughout his HS and college years and now a computer tech who made enough to buy his parents two new cars in his fifth year).

There are a lot things that annoyed me about having asian parents and other parents as well, but they busted their asses too hard to get over here to the US to see their kids mess up so I can understand that. Good grades = scholarship. Give them a break with the college fees. I didn't realized that until my college freshmen yr. It's expensive and I could have save them money if I have gotten good enough grades for the free ride. Oh well.

I keep them away from my kids
#34
how dare you! just because i'm an adul doesn't mean I have ceased to be "young" and am now old.
I'm almost 24 goddamit, but I'm still young and probably have much more fun than you do as I can do whatever I like, I have money, I can drink and I don't live with my parents anymore.

*feels offended as is starting to worry that he may infact be getting a bit older*
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#35
Honestly dude, the main explanation I find for parents like that who come from an Asian background is because countires like China, Japan, Korea etc are so ridiculously overpopulated that in order to actually stay alive, you have to be not only successful but commit the entirety of your life to trying to make money and become successful enough to survive, which also explains the reason many migrate to Australia (where I live) and other countries.

I understand how stubborn they may seem to you, and this is despite my limited understanding that I have been fortunate enough to have parents who support my own goals and have allowed me to establish them for myself, and subsequently, I have moved onto studying a Bachelor of Music to make my "hobby" a career, and have been successful in doing so. I have a friend who has a mother who seems to quite accurately fit that stereotype at certain times, despite the fact she has definitely evolved over the years I have known him into a person who has more empathy but as a result of his mother's pressure, has become a little distant and has found that he doesn't seem to enjoy things as much as he used to due to the aforementioned pressure and the inability to distinguish his own dreams or recongnition because it may conflict with what he has been brought up to value. This being said, there are certain things that make him believe in the longevity of such things and since he finished school, his mother sees it as a chance for him to be free.

Basically dude, the tl:dr version is simply, despite what your parents say, try to keep an aspect of individuality, because that's what makes you who you are and subesequently successful because of your own self-recognition and personal confidence that comes from fulfiling your own goals.
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#36
Quote by Dores
Azns are hot. Pics of your mother or a sister if you have one? OR GTFO!!


They are hit or miss, and seriously mate, there's better things you can be doing than wasting time trying to sound cool in front of people you will never meet and sounding like an idiot.
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#38
Quote by blitzd
heh i had that problem wen i was like 12... i just ignored them and turned up the volume on my amp.... even if it was a crappy little 5w.... if they don't gfet the message tell them to piss off


This guy sounds like Russell Peters' white friend, AMIRITE?

The lack of Canadians usually on at this time probable means that no one will get that joke...
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#39
Quote by 1337guitarplayr
*Wall of Text*


All these hobbys you have that are cast off into the "useless in the future" section are all aspects of life that help you enjoy yourself. I mean, sure grades are still important, as is your career, but they are not the only important things. Having fun is still pretty vital to a fulfilling life. All work and no play is not fun, and we only live life once.

Though, if you get a really good career, you will have a lot of money, but by then you'll be in your thirties probably, and all your childhood and young life will have waved passed you, and money really doesn't mean happiness in many cases. To be honest, If I were in your case, I'd continue to study for school, and do well in school assessments and exams.

But I'd still go out, enjoy myself and play video games/play guitar, because I want to enjoy myself.

Simple as. Your parents are your guardians and will give you good advice, but your life is your own, not theirs.

:Samedit : Oh, and +1 for the Herman Li reference. C'mon, the guy out-does me. It's shameful.
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Last edited by SamTotman at Jan 8, 2009,
#40
tell them that an hour is enough studying, and any more will send you mad with boredom
??? Fund: cba to keep up with it.
will at least try when I get a jerb
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Alex (mcfreaki)
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