#1
A song about labelling. Please don't do it.

She just wears her hair long, what makes that so wrong, can’t we just move on, from labelling.

She’s wearing black trousers, she likes music louder, you’re in or you’re out, but that don’t mean a thing.

They call her an emo
Cause Gerard’s her hero
She’s just had chemo
Do you think they’re right?

She dropped out of her school
Cause she thought it was cool
She won’t come out at all
She stays up late, every night

Each day she wakes up, she puts on her make up, they think that she’s messed up, but they don’t know.

She dyed all her hair black, laid down like a doormat, do you agree with that? I didn’t think so

They call her an emo
Cause Gerard’s her hero
She’s just had chemo
Do you think they’re right?

She dropped out of her school
Cause she thought it was cool
Now she wont come out at all
She stays up late, every night

Bridge:

Label the nation and cover up it’s eyes
Cause pretty soon they won’t believe the lies
You and her, no real difference, both the same
Loves and hates, a change of clothing, a different name

Repeat

Repeat Chorus


<3

Danny Starr
BECOME A FAN!

DISCO IS DEAD!

Quote by Minkaro
(Repeat until audience is driven mad)


Quote by Zeppo
Wait a minute. Your telling me your gf is related to 'The' Robert Plant?!
#4
Quote by darkrikku
Very nice, very well written, i could see this as an emo song though(ironic right?)
i liked it alot


Thanks man, glad you liked it . Anything you want me to look at? And yes, ironic indeed :P
BECOME A FAN!

DISCO IS DEAD!

Quote by Minkaro
(Repeat until audience is driven mad)


Quote by Zeppo
Wait a minute. Your telling me your gf is related to 'The' Robert Plant?!
#5
This could be so much better, but it comes off as simplistic and childish. The rhymes were predictable and the rhythm was boring and monotonous. Also, the tone was just so damn childish. You come off as a two-year old crying cause he hasn't got what he wants. If you want people to take you seriously, you have to write seriously. Put some emotion into it, avoid using cliched and overused, simplistic rhymes. Try some humour. At the moment, the theme is good, the delivery isn't. THis is the kind of song that needs to be done right. and at the moment, it isn't. Sorry for the wall of text and for being so harsh, but one day, far in the future, you'll thank me. Hell, i still get ripped a new one everytime i post and i've been doing for almost a year. anyway, if this helped and you feel like returning the favour, there's a link in my sig under "Poetry" called "for alex". A word or two would be appreciated. If this wasn't helpful, don't worry about it. I would, however, like you to PM me the next time you post.
#6
If you listen to that song that goes 'same song different chorus' by (i think they're called) Bowling My Soup these words fit perfectly. By the way, IMO the lyrics were childish.

You've spoken about not labelling people, but the whole basis for the lyrics are that this girl is different. It ****ing pisses me off when people do this. I'm into brutal death metal, yet all my friends are into hip-hop. I don't segregate myself. I don't see why musical tastes should be an issue AT all as to who you hang out with. Ps, i know you haven't mentioned this, but i feel you to be an appropriate outlet for my rant. Thanks.
#8
i thought that the words were really good, but i was a bit confused by the whole format of it. it could be just the way it was typed, or it could be just something musically that i cant seem to fully grasp on paper, but i found it odd. i'd like to here the song though, it seems like it could be a good one.