#4
Where's the local place to go for parties and gigs? Try to find out who takes care of gigs, and give him a hint (myspace, etc)
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Kidding, they hate you and want you to be miserable.

Also, Charmander.
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so wait... does PETA think all gay people are vegans?
#5
what genre is your band? That could be the deciding factor of where you can play
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#6
Looking around in newspapers and things should work, if you only want to play a few small places. If you're thinking big, you'd better know people, or be damn good.l
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
#8
Could try contacting very small independent record labels or bands signed to such labels and ask about any available opening slots.