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#1
Right brace yourself for these!!

What's brown and sticky? - A stick

A dyslexic (ironic how I can't spell it lol) walks into a bra...

Why'd the koala fall out of the tree? - Cuz it was dead...

Why'd the tree fall down? - Koala forgot to let go

Why is it a shame seeing 3 chavs go off of a cliff in a Nova? - A Nova has 4 seats

Why is it a shame seeing 4 chavs go off a cliff in a Nova? - Room in the boot!

Personally, when I first read all these jokes I was crying, I thought they were the funniest thing since I first saw a sheep with a tail...
#2
Dyslexics of the world- UNTIE!
Bristol Rovers

Up the Gas!




Please, call me Joe.
#3
dyslexic pimp opened a warehouse

dyslexic rockstar choked on his own vimto
Last edited by Ikey at Jan 11, 2009,
#7
I made this up yesterday.

What internet browser do Hobbits use?


ShireFox!
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#8
What's Hitlers least favourite drink?

Orange Jews Awful I know...
________ A
________C
________E
________!
#10
Did you hear that Bono fell off the stage at a U2 gig the other day?

Apparantly he stood too close to the Edge
FALKIRK

We'll win something someday

Quote by Minkaro
Falkirk is the home of runners up.

Check out my Tunes
#11
A man walked into a bar.


He died the next day from a cracked skull.
_____________________________________________

Last edited by Your Mother : Today at 03:44 PM
#12
A man, a woman and their dog walked into a bar.

I forgot the rest of the joke but I raped your mom.
#13
Quote by Random88
Did you hear that Bono fell off the stage at a U2 gig the other day?

Apparantly he stood too close to the Edge


That actually made me chuckle.
Quote by Telestar
Trust me man, it's Smoke on the Water. Deep Purple only wrote one song.
#14
Quote by lee 31392
A dyslexic (ironic how I can't spell it lol) walks into a bra...


It's more ironic that you believe you can't spell the word, but would rather point that fact out than take four seconds to consult a dictionary.
You're*
#15
what do you call a chav in a box?

innit

what do you call a chav in a locked box?

safe

what do you call a chav in a filinbg cabinet?

sorted


...oh dear
#16
Quote by Survivalism
It's more ironic that you believe you can't spell the word, but would rather point that fact out than take four seconds to consult a dictionary.

Top that with the fact that he actually DID spell it correctly, and we found the winning "bad joke" in this thread!
#18
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#19
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate
to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set
for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply
distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the
added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother
was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her
quite forgetful and distracted of late.

Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually
encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging
itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture
removalists van as it attempted to make its way home.

Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental
Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken,
being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen
trout fisherman.

"Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for
excellent trout flys". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most
iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope.
He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the
clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.
Quote by GuitarGod_92
Oh my ***ing god that pron one is like the best one ever and i have seen all of em. Congrats dude you just beat Kensai.
#24
Hear about the rich fisherman?

He always made a big net profit.
don't let the forest grow over the path you came here by
#26
So...Dimebag walked into a bar....


another joke.. what did the travel agent say to the person looking for a russian holiday

you Mos cow

(only works in the UK pronounciation of moscow)
#27
Why did the clown fall off the swing?

I shot him.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#28
Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after.
R.I.P Jon Lord, Rory Gallagher and Jimi!
#29
Doctor, doctor i think i'm a moth. What can you do?

There isn't really alot i can do, i'm only a General Practitioner. I'd probably have to suggest a psychologist or a psychiatrist even.

It's funny you should say that actually, i was just on my way to see the psychiatrist when i noticed your light was on.
Gear:
Gibson Les Paul Custom
Epiphone EDS-1275
Epiphone Les Paul
Schecter C-1+
Peavey Delta Blues
#30
Quote by (insertnamehere
Doctor, doctor i think i'm a moth. What can you do?

There isn't really alot i can do, i'm only a General Practitioner. I'd probably have to suggest a psychologist or a psychiatrist even.

It's funny you should say that actually, i was just on my way to see the psychiatrist when i noticed your light was on.

Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#31
There are two muffins sitting in an oven.

The first muffin says, "man, it's hot in here, isn't it?"

And the second muffin replies, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN! "

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#32
There are two muffins.

Both say nothing, as muffins can't talk.
R.I.P Jon Lord, Rory Gallagher and Jimi!
#33
Doctor, whats the news?

YOu've got Tom JOnes syndrome I'm afraid.

Oh no! Is it rare?

Well, it's not unusual...
don't let the forest grow over the path you came here by
#34
Quote by stef123
There are two muffins.

Both say nothing, as muffins can't talk.


They were left too long in the oven and they were burned.
The oven catches fire and the whole house burns down, killing a mother and 3 children.
Upon coming home from work, the father kills himself in misery.

... I'm going to hell
#38
What did the doctor tell his cancer patient?

You are going to die of cancer.
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███████████████
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#40
Quote by stef123
Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after.

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