#1
Hey everyone, this is a new song i wrote, it IS NOT the song for the metalcore/hardcore collaboration, i just wrote it because i wanted to.

Anyway, its got a As Blood Runs Black vibe, but the chorus is more All That Remains, but i dont know, you tell me!

C4C! More detailed crit i get from you, the more thought i'll put into your crit.

**I know the bass isn't done and ill upload a new version when i get it finished**
Attachments:
Song 3.zip
Poop.


Yes, poop.
Last edited by MattAnderson111 at Jan 11, 2009,
#2
Nice work man, where to begin.

The intro has a nice simple riff which seems to creep into the pre-chorus riff well. As for the pre-chorus itself, I think it could do with a tad of rhythmic change - maybe adding 32nd notes to add slightly more interest.
Chorus is really good with rhythm guitar cushioning the melody above it well before leading into a harmony with seems to work well. The higher melody kinda reminds me of an In Flames type of chorus if it just had a triplet part at the end there.
Verse 1 works well, as you've used 32nd notes there but not on the pre-chorus riff. Change your pre-chorus to be more like verse 1.
Breakdown is good, use of a discord leading into the sinister sounding riff to follow. I'm not too keen on the sudden change of tempo, perhaps add and extra bit in there to make it flow into the bridge a bit better.
Bridge picks up the pace a bit again before breaking into the slower chorus - good contrast. As for bridge 2, it seems to lack depth, possibly because theres no bass track so I'll leave it at that.
The riff in the interlude (and played underneath before that) is really good but you don't build it up enough. Make it played again but tweak it slightly or add some kind of build up and then go back into the chorus to wrap it up.
Ending chord sounds good as it sort of clashes and reminds me of a sad moment of some sort. Probably because the songs finished! Get that bassline added and I'd love to hear it again. Good work man . 9/10

EDIT: No need to crit any of mine, as they're all quite old. Just critting a few at the moment fer' fun.
#3
The intro is alright. It's just kind of normal for me. I like the harmony though :]

The pre-chorus is pretty normal too. Nothing too special or varied from the typical stuff.

The chorus is where it picks up. I like the arpeggios that you use and I like how you use them.

The Verse I is very ABRB. I can definately hear it. I'm not too fond of the drums here. Maybe a little less blast beat? Or make it faster.

The breakdown is alright. It would definately sound better on normal guitar. It reminds me of The Human Abstract actually. The way you harmonize is really reminiscent of ABRB.

Bridge. Again, another thing that I could see ABRB writing. It's not bad, but it's not original. I think they might have actually used this riff... or something similar. It seems exactly like them.

Then the chorus. Easily my favorite part :] It has a different feel than the rest of the song; it seems more upbeat to me.

The Verse is alright. Again.

Bridge II is better than bridge one. Ooohhh... I like the clean guitar and octave. The next riff is really nice.

The Interlude is really good. It fits the mood of the chorus better than the rest.

Than the chorus.

Mmmm I like it :] It just what i'm used to hearing people write now. Ever since ABRB's Allegiance album chugging riffs have gotten kind of cliche. It's not a bad thing, but it's not a thing to make it stand out. The only real thing I would change is maybe a little more variation in the harmonizations? Like instead of staying in Harmonic Minor maybe go to Natural Minor for a section. It'll fit the mood of the chorus more.

I'd give it a 7/10. It's not bad by any means. It could be my bias towards this style though... in my area, this is the main overused style of song. ^^;

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1038217
#4
well i've never listened to the bands you listed but you did a great job writing this. The harmony lead in the chorus sounded great and added a nice contrast to the more heavy style in the verse and breakdown. Now the switch to the breakdown seemed aliitle two abrupt but that may have been what you were going for. Overall it sounded really good though
you can listen to this if you want but its not done completely
Attachments:
New Compressed (zipped) Folder (2).zip
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That's such a ****ing brilliant idea!