#1
hey i posted this a few weeks ago in the wrong place so check it out and tell me what you think and be brutally honest

i'm a zero
stay away from me
it doesn't bother me
i'm a zero
please don't talk to me
i'll take care of everything
im a zero living down by the tracks
just leave me the **** alone

i'm a zero
i am nothing
no one wants to help me
i'm a zero
i am nothing
just run away from me

i'm a zero
i have no one
just leave me by myself
im a zero
can't you see i dont need you around

i'm zero
i am nothing
no one wants to help me
i'm a zero
i am nothing
just run away from me

i am nothing
no one wants to help me
i'm a zero
i am nothing
just run away from me

just run away from ... me
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#2
well... i didn't like it very much.
you repeated lines and stanzas a lot, which might sound good in a song, but as a set of lyrics, it just looks boring. also, you alternate between nauseating self-pity and a childish im-gonna-kill-myself-and-then-you'll-be-sorry attitude. in short, i'm going to take your sig seriously and disregard this post, otherwise i'll just read anything else you right with a bad impression right from the start
#3
I don’t particularly like these lyrics at all. It seems to me that you are trying to express sort of a feeling of loneliness in this song. The problem is, the lyrics seem to make it seem more whiney and childish. In short, I can’t really take them seriously.

If you were actually planning on writing a song to poke fun at Emo music, however, then this song will work quite well.
#4
Mate, its too repetitive and sounds like your trying to force your depression. The rest of it didnt really work either, sorry to be harsh but its a critique. Im not saying it was totally awfull, maybe try and re-do it because it does have potential.

RFAP
#5
Quote by Xeron Brigs
I don’t particularly like these lyrics at all. It seems to me that you are trying to express sort of a feeling of loneliness in this song. The problem is, the lyrics seem to make it seem more whiney and childish. In short, I can’t really take them seriously.

If you were actually planning on writing a song to poke fun at Emo music, however, then this song will work quite well.



actually the way i sung it when i was playin on my guitar sounded kinda good and this is gonna sound kinda stupid but i when i came up with the idea i was walkin around the streets of chicago and i was watching homeless people and how people were treating them so i kinda tried to imagin how they were feeling thats where the part that says just run away from me is about how peole walk past them and give them this look like there all disgusted and try to walk away real quick
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#6
it kind of reminds me of freak by radiohead, just the way it's all set up, and the theme..
i suggest the chorus change a bit. not sure why, but it seems like it would be a really good addition to the song.

mines is untitled(sad acoustic pop folk) if you get the time.
#8
Quote by Lead Guitar23
the lyrics are alright...i thought of kind of a slow punk rock kinda thing....maybe evena nirvana sound but its still pretty good

if u could crit/comment my song/s thatd be cool too ther in my sig


yeah its sposed to be kinda nirvana sounding bt more punk influenced the verse i play this barred chord part but the chorus i do power chords then the part after the second verse i play a solo thats like teen spirit as far as the notes kinda follow the vocals oh and to the dude that said freak by radiohead 1 its creep but i based the vocals of of that as far as the tempo and hat kinda ****

and i also used the soft/hard/soft song format that nirvana used alot
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
Last edited by IRISH_PUNK13 at Jan 15, 2009,