#1
This is a new song I'm working on for my band. A lot of the parts are in a major key and it has a lot of complicated rhythms using polymeter. Let me know what you think, and I'd appreciate any criticism or suggestions. I'll also do my best to return the favor.
Attachments:
Crazyness.zip
#2
I'm not going to lie, I this gave me a major headache. And I love metalcore. (AND A7X, AND THEREFORE TOOK OFFENCE TO YOUR SIG.) A lot of things sound way to flamboyant and disorganised to me. Sorry man, 2/10.
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nice discovery, sir.


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Last edited by coryklok : Today at 01:10 PM.
#3
I disagree with BlackandSilver it takes talent to be able to incorporate major parts in a song well and i believe you accomplished that. The chorus reminds me of atb but i love the solo and the harmonic outro

good stuff
#4
and i meant into a metal song well and not making it sound cheesy
anyone can make a song in a major key lol
#5
I loved it hah
the major sections reminded me of Diddy Kong Racing for the N64 lo, not sure how vocals would fit into the song though
Solo was great, solid song man
I only come to this site to listen to yours and zakattaks stuff so props man hah you write great stuff
#7
excellent contribution!

It should be pretty easy for everyone to see that the composer obviously knows what he's doing (it's not "disorganized" in any way, however of course people are still free to dislike it for personal taste reasons)

Obviously such overt major tonalities are not too common in metal, so yes, it also took me a few seconds to accommodate, however once you shed your preconceived notions about how metalcore is 'supposed' to sound like, it really draws you in. This is definetly an original flavor you carry here. It was a joy to see the two guitars being so inventive and intertwining in their harmonies, and together with the rhythm they at times evoke the jumpy upbeat feeling of good video game music of yore. The one reviewer who mentioned BTBAM was right on the money, and you only slightly seem to make the same 'mistake' they sometimes do (but have resolved lately), which is getting too riff-salady in the decision never to replay a riff or develop it beyond one or two repeats. In that respect, the individual sections were so good, I wish we could have seen more of them, as there definetly is room for development. i also dig the meshuggahesque breaks /dotted rhythms, however I suggest in the section starting from bar 38, the last 16th note that is actually a upbeat pickup to the next bar: strikes me as sliiightly unnecessary/distracting. Personally, it flows better if you either pull it a 16th more in front (so that it falls on the 4+, the last 8th note of the bar) or push it to the next bar's starting onbeat. Just a suggestion. The solo was golden! I appreciate that you made a strong melodic statement instead of mindless noodly shred.
If the piece is not finished and you're still working on it, I suggest: Extend it with some more variable sections. The stuff that's already there underscores the faith I have in your ability to pull off some interesting developments and dynamic variations - right now, the end feels slightly inconclusive, cutoff as if there was more to come (and i hope so!). A "broad" epic chordal section will fit and/or a 'breathing' break (clean, for example), or just a restatement of some of the excellent beginning riffs. Some sort of intro would also be appreciated, would ease the listener in and prepare him for the mood and rhythm that is to follow.

Btw, you band also produces quality material. Just what I would expect from looking at your song. Best wishes for all your musical pursuits, keep it up!
#8
DUDE! for a drop a tuning you definitely made it sound amazingly melodic! i really likes this song and would love to hear more!!!! BTW what do you play?

10/10 really good song
"We carry death out of the village!"
#9
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I loved it hah
the major sections reminded me of Diddy Kong Racing for the N64 lo, not sure how vocals would fit into the song though
Solo was great, solid song man
I only come to this site to listen to yours and zakattaks stuff so props man hah you write great stuff


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My Metal (gp5) Songs


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#10
Ailes - Thanks for such detailed feedback man. I really appreciate it. The suggestion involving the hanging 16th note is definitely a great one, but I'm not sure if were going to change that part. We're basing that section off of the repetition of straightforward dotted notes and dotted rests. But I'll definitely consider it and everything else you've mentioned. You should leave a link if there's something specific you'd like me to listen to of yours. I owe you a decent critique and I'd feel bad otherwise.

Marskell - Thanks dude. It means a lot. I play keys and synthesizer which isn't really prevalent in this song but I also write most of our music along with our guitarist. Three of us are only 15 so I think we have a pretty decent start haha.
#11
Ok this is quite ingenious, its a rare thing to get such an upbeat sound out of this kind of music, even though you threw in a couple of less happy sections which made it a bit more interesting
i reckon this could work great as either instrumental or with vocals, theres enough leads and changes to keep the listener interested but words might add some extra kick
theres good use of time signatures and i quite like the bit which im assuming youve labelled as polyrythmic especially the lead going on there
the biggest problem i think is the ending.... it just doesnt seem like there is one at all, it doesnt really climax and finish at all, doesnt really need any amendment just add something appopriate to put a decent cadance in and it should be awesome

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=18142490#post18142490
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#12
Quote by BlackandSilver
I'm not going to lie, I this gave me a major headache. And I love metalcore. (and A7X, and therefore took offense to your sig.) A lot of things sounded way too flamboyant (flamboyant [flam-boi-uhnt] An excellent word to use to insult progressive music; a sign of a person with a mind open to new ideas. sarcasm [sahr-kaz-uhm] Self-explanatory; see flamboyant.) and disorganzed to me. Sorry man, 2/10.


Due to the above quote combined with a Papa Roach avatar, I'm somehow not even phased at all by your critique.


Nah I'm just kiddingg. Everyone's entitled to an opinion. Thanks for the feedback even if you didn't enjoy it.
Last edited by 6_6_6_1_syn at Jan 13, 2009,
#13
In my opinion, and this is just my opinion, the song flowed okay, but it just was not that good, sorry dude, no disrespect, just not the best i've heard in these forums, everyone will get better with practice, just keep practicing