#1
Vers 1
Chasing in the town.
Lonely shadows facing upside down.
Walking alone.
Always knew that I’ll be on my own
Walls are whispering.
Things I don’t believe in
Pack your bags.
Get out of my frame.

chorus
leave me alone.
I can’t take this.
I’m stuck in this.
So leave me alone.
Don’t want to see you.
know you don’t care.
So leave me alone

Vers 2
What would you say.
You maybe ask me if I want to play.
But not in your game.
You always win, and only you to blame
Jump from the roof top.
Everything’s ****ed up.
Believe in the things you see.
Forget who you want to be.

chorus
leave me alone.
I can’t take this.
I’m stuck in this.
So leave me alone.
Don’t want to see you.
know you don’t care.
So leave me alone

Bridge
You know this life is not what it looks like.
It’s not a game, for you and I.
I’ve learned from my mistakes
Now I know what it takes
to get what I want.
and look beyond’ horizon.

chorus quiet
leave me alone.
I can’t take this.
I’m stuck in this.
So leave me alone.
Don’t want to see you.
know you don’t care.
So leave me alone

chorus
leave me alone.
I can’t take this.
I’m stuck in this.
So leave me alone.
Don’t want to see you.
know you don’t care.
So leave me alone

#2
in some places it looks to me like your trying to cram to many words into a line but then again i'm not sure of the rhythm but it appears to be a good direction i could see myself relating to it anyways
Keep On Keepen' On
#4
nothing more frustrating than having the perfect thing to say and it doesnt quite fit the rhythm, but i think you can make it work.

the first verse is great, i wouldnt change it at all. flows well, rhymes, makes sense.

the second verse is kind of tricky to read and doesnt seem as well thought out as the first, i dont really like it.

everything else seems to be pretty solid and well laid out though so overall i think this i a pretty strong piece. kudos

if you wish you can crit mine
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1044485
Emerse your soul in love


You used to be alright What happened?


Yellow tigers crouched in jungles in her Dark Eyes .
Last edited by heavyairship at Jan 12, 2009,
#6
i think you used "leave me alone" too many times in the chorus.
Eternity isn't long
If all you so is sleep
And forever is just a little while
If all you do is dream.




All Alone is All we Are