#1
...not even a mouse. Except my cat, her name is Mouse. We didn't name her, she's a second hand cat.

It was silent in the house, my parents asleep. I was just browsing the internet, the usual thing I do on a Monday night, when I felt a sudden urge to take a dump. Not when my parents are asleep, the bathroom is right next to their room, I don't want them to hear the sounds of a teenage boy taking a dump. But I had to, my mind though ' I can't' but my colon thought ' gotta doosie a number twosie'.
So off I powerwalked to the bathroom, shut the door, turned on the light, descended my trousers to my ankles and make contact with the seats rim. This part is where it went horribly wrong. I wanted it to be as quiet as possible, so I tense as I feel my lower digestive system rattle and shake as the first bubble of methane came out my arse. It was loud, which was wasn't my plan! Then the biggest pile of ****e forced its way out from gravities pull and made a splash. for roughly 3 seconds a continuous stream of feces emptied out my colon. I smacked my leg in anger, 'you were meant to be quiet!'.

So pit, have you ever tried to take a quiet dump anywhere but it tuns out to not be as quiet as you hoped?


RULE: Never take a dump when your parents are in bed.
Quote by dark&broken
I'd like to see any of those meathead homophobes look a Spartan in the eye and call him a fag.

Last edited by eggo_boi_15 at Jan 12, 2009,
#3
thank you for my daily LOL
Quote by justinrobbins7
*unzipppp* "Deal with this, wench."



Quote by Mazzakazza
Ug Knows 1000% More About Scrotal Sacs Than Real Doctors.
Hm Let Me Investigate. You Has The Painful Scroties? You Has Aids.
Next Plz.
#4
not really
Fight the war, fuck the norm
Now I got no patience
So sick of complacence
With the D the E the F the I the A the N the C the E
Mind of a revolutionary
So clear the lane
...Whoever told you that is your enemy?
#7
Quote by Minkaro
What does this have to do with the cat?


Nothing. Whatsoever. I just thought I'd stick her in the post somewhere. She told me me to....
Quote by dark&broken
I'd like to see any of those meathead homophobes look a Spartan in the eye and call him a fag.

#8
Quote by Minkaro
What does this have to do with the cat?

Who are you to question Mouse?
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#11
I've taken some good ones at work.
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
Quote by Necrophagist777
I'm ORION, LORD OF EVIL, give me your soul and breathe in my darkness.

YOU WILL NOT ENJOY THIS......
╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
#12
As I was reading your lovely story I imagined it in my head and now I am disturbed by the fact that when "it" came out I imagined it looked like a perfect sphere.....
#13
Quote by MH_Worshipper
As I was reading your lovely story I imagined it in my head and now I am disturbed by the fact that when "it" came out I imagined it looked like a perfect sphere.....


Dude......too far

Wait, who excretes perfect spheres? You might wanna get that checked out....
Quote by dark&broken
I'd like to see any of those meathead homophobes look a Spartan in the eye and call him a fag.

#14


that was disgustingly funny..

but know.. I'm really loud in the bathroom, cos i forget my parents are in bed, and start singing, and get a shower, when the pump is in there bedroom.. they iz pissed.
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#15
Quote by Minkaro
I AM MINK.

HEAR ME ROAR squeak.

Yeah?
Well Mouse eats Minks for breakfast.
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#17
Quote by wtf290
Yeah?
Well Mouse eats Minks for breakfast.


Yes she does. Oh look, she just dragged one in now....
Quote by dark&broken
I'd like to see any of those meathead homophobes look a Spartan in the eye and call him a fag.

#19
At school once. Teacher walked in next to the stall and said, "you are one smelly bitch."
Sail upon the open skies
#20
Quote by Minkaro


Don't worry, she only goes for the smallest ones
Quote by dark&broken
I'd like to see any of those meathead homophobes look a Spartan in the eye and call him a fag.

#21
Quote by eggo_boi_15
Don't worry, she only goes for the smallest ones

eggo, you madman, what are you thinking!?
You've got to keep them afraid.
That's how you control them.
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!