#1
Early this morning
(so early that some call it last night)
you might find yourself in bed
wondering on the molecular level
why your sheets aren't rigid
or how anything moves
or how a science class might make the universe
more mysterious.

Solid transparent objects as tangible ghosts.
Hair underneath your leg as uncomfortable art.
How things exist without sentences.

People who enjoy the controversy of being a bitch
might like what I have to say about them.
But I can't play out those scenarios in my head
because I can't play it out in theirs.

The difficulty of thought
is a flaw of the brain.

Last night I dreamt about why the day starts at 12:00 AM
and how I wasn't dreaming in real time
and how it was probably early morning
and how tomorrow (today) I would start a story with
"Last night I dreamt..."
#2
Clever, way clever. At times maybe a little too.

I didn't like these phrases very much:

enjoy the controversy of being a bitch
(i guess the word 'controversy' didn't seem to fit)

wondering on the molecular level
(maybe this one just needs some punctuation clean-up for me to accept it.)

Are you sure you need the second-to-last stanza?

You could write hundreds of pages on "How things exist without sentences" so it's kind of plaintive and charming how you just left it alone.

I liked it.
#4
It's very confusing and very deeply thought out, I like the dreaming aspect. Because it's confusing it gives the listener something to think about instead of just words and it's confusing cuz I'm tired lol. I would appreciate it if you could crit mine please! See the sig. lol
I defecate all over my clothes to get extra protected
Roses are Red
Violets are Bitchin
God Dammit Woman
Get Back in the Kitchen
#5
(so early that some call it last night)
this aside here threw me off. I don't think you should eliminate it, maybe just reword it. (So early, for some it was last night) sounds much better in my opinion.

Rest was a good capture of that thought that I love and hate to think about

solid man. Good to see another from you.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#7
yeah its cool. that's just what I was thinking at least. I suppose it does make sense to keep it.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#8
I thought it was very good but a agree with what that other guy said about the second stanza not being needed, i think its great but does seem very different form the rest of the poem. Maybe it could be used in a different poem. Good work though. Could you check out my poem: My Wish.