#1
Until There's Nothing Left
All you've got are your pretty little promises
And they don't mean thing to me
With your unfulfilled wishes, and dying dreams
And they don't mean a thing to me

To your left what do you see
An empty room, or is it me
Nothing but hurt is guaranteed
Yet, you mean everything to me

A dying star casts its light on you
And it doesn't mean a thing to you
A glowing sphere with a fading hue
Why don't I mean a thing to you?

To your left what do you see
An empty room, or is it me
Nothing but hurt is guaranteed
Yet, you mean everything to me
Yeah, you mean everything to me
Quote by ChucklesMginty
If at first you don't succeed, play bass.


Quote by Jackal58
Cats don't think. They plot.



Catch me on FLICKR
Proud owner of a beautiful PRS P22
#2
i liked it a lot, but it was a little too rhymey for my tastes. for example try reading the lyrics and thinking about that song, putting on the ritz
#3
Quote by F'ingguitarnoob
i liked it a lot, but it was a little too rhymey for my tastes. for example try reading the lyrics and thinking about that song, putting on the ritz


I don't know what pitting it on ritz means, any clarification?

but thanks for the review
Quote by ChucklesMginty
If at first you don't succeed, play bass.


Quote by Jackal58
Cats don't think. They plot.



Catch me on FLICKR
Proud owner of a beautiful PRS P22
#5
yeah I see what you're saying... kinda like how over my head/cable car is (the fray)


But, could it possibly be the way it's read? Because I have the melody to kinda an odd rhythm where it's not so straightforward to the point where it's not so rhymey (because that bothers me as well)
Quote by ChucklesMginty
If at first you don't succeed, play bass.


Quote by Jackal58
Cats don't think. They plot.



Catch me on FLICKR
Proud owner of a beautiful PRS P22
#7
I'd guess I'd have to hear it as well, I don't really like all the rhyming (Especially "you" with "you" and "me" with "me"). The third stanza is definitely my favourite, except I would like it a lot more if it weren't for the you/you/hue/you rhyming.
New To Town With A Made Up Name

In The Angel's City

Chasing Fortune And Fame
09/03/2012
#8
idk how well it'll make sense
but for the third stanza it's really an abab pattern instead of aabb or aaaa(?)
I'm not sure exactly how to explain it but it makes sense to me lol
Quote by ChucklesMginty
If at first you don't succeed, play bass.


Quote by Jackal58
Cats don't think. They plot.



Catch me on FLICKR
Proud owner of a beautiful PRS P22