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#1
don't lie, i know you've all stolen something at some point in your life. so what is the worst thing you've ever stolen? me? i stole my best friend's brand new skateboard right off his porch and gave it to another friend. i'm going to hell.
#2
girls virginity.
Quote by slickerthnsleek
YOU WIN THE INTERNET.
Quote by dxpaintball8000
long live bucketmark.
#4
My best mates brown virginity.

He was passed out drunk.
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#5
Quote by imdeth
My neighbour's virginity.


His neighbor's virginity O.o
#6
Your mum.

Seriously though... some firecrackers.. turns out they weren't actually firecrackers.
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Don't drink drive you'll spill your drink
#7
Umm, me & my friends used to knock on the backdoor of a shop, when he'd come to answer it, my other friends used to run in, take loads of sweets, chewing gum, random crap they could grab ect.

That was fairly bad I guess.
Quote by demoniacfashion
Is there any black people on UG?
I don't think a lot of black people play guitar anymore.

Quote by Oasis-fanatic
they all kinda went extinct after hendrix really.


Needless to say, I lol'ed.

Quote by human panda
Appart from being on UG or wanking, thats what i mostly do
#8
Shall I continue the virginity theme? No? A kids bike, then. I still feel like **** about it
#9
Freedom.
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That was a different Feb08er that threatened to suck you off
I remember that


Sadly, I was the threatened.
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Let it be known that I concur with everything this gentleman says, ever.



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#10
Porn
and it was ****ty porn too
Half Man, Half Bearpig! I am Super Sereal!

Quote by jravolta
Every time the Jonas Brothers play, an innocent in Darfur is killed.


lol diversity in UGers:

Quote by i have to pee
I am not 12, but my sack is still hairless.



Quote by magnum1117
my balls are hairy as chewbacca's...
#13
Quote by lceman13
All the replays in this thread are so fucking unoriginal.


All the replays?
Huh?

Go make some original spelling mistakes elsewhere.
ᶌῖᶌα ɭα ɌεᶌσɭƲʈιʘϰ
#14
Quote by Vauxite
All the replays?
Huh?

Go make some original spelling mistakes elsewhere.

Difference between a spelling mistake and an accidental change of a word.
#16
I stole some batteries and a sausage from a store. When I left the store I immediatley ate the sausage and continued walking. After a few 100 meters this white car makes a u-turn and stops right in front of me.

Out comes a security guard in civilianclothes and stopped me. He asked me questions, and I confessed at the spot. He then called the police but they were busy, so he took me back to the store and took me to the back. With all the empty sodacans and bottles. It smelled like ****.

In there we waited for over an hour before the police came, and they took my information. I got to answer a few questions to see if I were who I claimed I was. Like family birthdays and such.
Then they called my parents, cause I was 17, and they let me go.

The day after I had to go back to the store and pay what I owed them.

Few days later I had to go to the policestation with my dad and they would ask questions and decide if they wanted me to see a judge. But since it wasn't a serious crime I just got fined.


Haven't stolen anything since


tl;dr: I stole batteries and a sausage and got caught.



edit: typos
People are bastards. Bastardcoated bastards with bastardfilling.
Last edited by Finnepinne at Jan 13, 2009,
#17
Quote by Finnepinne


tl;dr: I stole batteries and a sausage and got caught.


Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#18
I stole a whammy bar from guitar center. I lost my band for it, their parents thought I was a bad influence. I'm back in that band now.
Quote by denfilade
For a moment I thought velcro shoes were ones with the whole bottom made of velcro

She could walk up your pubes with those

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this post has aids
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and 07'ers will always be well-respected members of UG society.
#19
Quote by Finnepinne
I stole some batteries and a sausage from a store. When I left the store I immediatley ate the sausage and continued walking. After a few 100 meters this white car makes a u-turn and stops right in front of me.

Out comes a security guard in civilianclothes and stopped me. He asked me questions, and I confessed at the spot. He then called the police but they were busy, so he took me back to the store and took me to the back. With all the empty sodacans and bottles. It smelled like ****.

In there we waited for over an hour before the police came, and they took my information. I got to answer a few questions to see if I were who I claimed I was. Like family birthdays and such.
Then they called my parents, cause I was 17, and they let me go.

The day after I had to go back to the store and pay what I owed them.

Few days later I had to go to the policestation with my dad and they would ask questions and decide if they wanted me to see a judge. But since it wasn't a serious crime I just got fined.

i have a very similar story. i was accused of breaking into a clothing store in the middle of the night. WHICH I DIDN'T!
#20
I've stolen heaps of comic books and digests off my school library. I sneak them off hidden inside text books
http://groups.ultimat e-guitar.com/aa08s/



If you are looking for a clever and witty signature, you have come to the wrong place.
#21
I used to steal crazy bones from a supermarket on the way to school like every day
HI
#22
A chimpaneze, well i stole his sunglasses (if u wona go into details)
Quote by mental_zer0

The fear of the clock became too obvious. got expelled.

Quote by jmilli2
Spread rumours that she is a jew. Then all you need to do is sit back and wait for the secret police to make her 'disappear'.


lol?
#23
Cousins Virginity
If you try to correct me
I will become alot more wise and insightful than you can possibly imagine.
#24
i've never stolen one big thing but i once got caught after me and my friends went on a shoplifting spree. i think i had about £20 worth of comics, some food, a couple dvds n t-shirts , pokemon cards, a flash drive and some portable speakers. i wouldn't have got arrested if my mate had just told the truth when we got caught about what we'd stolen aswell.

i think i spent about 4 hours in a cell then they gave me a caution and let me go (they only charged me on the stuff i'd stolen from the shop i got caught in seeing as i admitted to everything else i'd stolen.
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I got crap to do, okay? Counter-Strike isn't going to play itself.
#25
i stole someones goalkeeping gloves when i was like ten, so then the dude keeps telling me that hes going to beat me up, the thing is hes way skinny and way small, he even spams emails saying absolutely nothing, i look back and its been six years he doesnt get over it :P
#26
a pencil
LOYAL?
HARD WORKING?
FULLY EXPENDABLE?


THE EMPIRE NEEDS YOU!
IT'S NOT ABOUT PAY, IT'S ABOUT CRUSHING THE REBELLION
#27
i stole that guys lunch once ^^
no i am not stalking you.. ;l

EDITT: beaten to the post.
this is to icream
Fender Special Edition Custom Telecaster FMT HH in Crimson Red
Reverend Sensei HB FM in Tobacco Burst
Fender Vintage C Neck, HH, Surf Green Nitrocellulose (Handmade)

Egnater Rebel-30 MKI Head
Egnater Tourmaster Series 412B 280W 4x12 Cabinet
#29
A friends CD walkman.

A friend stole it from another friend as a joke and gave it to me to hide and I just forgot to give it back.
#30
Back in... 6th grade? Those stupid fingerboards were popular and what not.. so everyone had em obviously. (back ground)

I was on the bus waiting to get outta school.. go home. and in a bus across from me, within an arms reach, a kid was using one on his window, and apparently thought he was the ****...

So after a few remarks from him, cause I was watching, I waited for him to just look away for a second, grabbed it from it, and threw it out the opposite window.

I laughed. Not the most badass steal in the world, but I still laugh about it.

EDIT:

Also found a full carton of cigs on the ground when I was 11 or 12... but I wouldn't consider that stealing.

EDIT #2: I stole a video game from my buddy. It was Super Mario RPG: Legends of the seven stars. I think thats what it's called...I think I still have it
Last edited by Silentlassassin at Jan 13, 2009,
#33
My ex-girlfriend's heart.


PSP from the lost and found bin
forty dollars from my supervisor on the day I got fired
headphones but I gave them back
one hundred dollars from my mom to buy yugi-oh cards
Hot wheels from wal-mart
A copy of romeo and juliet from chapters
A guitar techniques cd
a sketchbook
pair of glasses
five artist penicls
three coloured pens
one retractable eraser
one mars plastic eraser
5 cartridges of 0.7 pencil lead.
hue
Last edited by sock_demon at Jan 13, 2009,
#35
The Fruit Pastilles that are all blackcurrant from Woolies. (I helped them go under )

At Leeds festival me and a friend stole a **** load of those raver glasses from the stalls and sold them to the pillheads for whatever they could give us.

Also on the last night me and a friend at Leeds Fest me and one of my mates was going to the arena and stubled upon an empty campsite with a load of awesome camping chairs. We took every last one and went about our business trading them for **** like prams or 7 sleds someone had collected, then we both ended up at 3 in the morning in a pram with a ****load of bread and sambuca. I don't even like sambuca.

RMF


I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.
#36
Quote by Kingyem0c0re
Umm, me & my friends used to knock on the backdoor of a shop, when he'd come to answer it, my other friends used to run in, take loads of sweets, chewing gum, random crap they could grab ect.

That was fairly bad I guess.


Fricken hell that is a really good idea...
#38
I stole a toy from my friends little sister when I was about 7. My mum found out and made me feel so guilty about it that I've never stole since.
Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.


#39
2 chairs, a table, a mop and a traffic cone. It was Oktoberfest and we were wasted. Got chased by the German police but I guess they figured that a mop and some plastic furniture wasn't worth the effort. Left them on the s-bahn in the end lol
#40
a shot glass from alton towers lol
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