#1
Metal/Lyrics


Life is a dollhouse,
in which we all live in,
the bastards and the pastors
guide the living manequins,
to enforce the sins,
establish anarchy,
supply the wins for the sadistic hierarchy.

Life is a dollhouse,
We live in a dollhouse.

Love thy neighbor
as their blood runneth over,
violent pornography has the world in its fists.
Wash the minds
of the violently seduced,
cross the lines
in which we were introduced.

Life is a dollhouse,
We live in a dollhouse.

If god gives you lemons,
then you sell them for weapons,
If god gives you weapons,
then you sell them for lemons,

yeah,

If god is a martyr
for our egocentricity,
then I am a martyr
for our society,

yeah.
#2
I'm not big in putting swearing into songs as you may have read on other threads. I do like the dollhouse idea though, you should put some kind of little child into it that toys around with our lives it would make the metaphore much stronger and it would make people think about the meaning of the song more any ways well done crit4crit cheers see sig.
I defecate all over my clothes to get extra protected
Roses are Red
Violets are Bitchin
God Dammit Woman
Get Back in the Kitchen
#3
this was an ok piece. not my style, so I'll just crit it on the mechanics and obvious problems
"supply the wins for the sadistic hierarchy."
this line made me laugh. supply the WINS? really??? lol. please reword.
you sue "violent" twice in the second verse. find a synonym.
I don't like how you end the piece on "yeah" which means absolutely nothing at all.
Those were the problems I found. I did like the overall image of the dollhouse, very original. Play around with ti and see if you can't write something that's better or fix this song.