I once had a girl
or rather-
she quite had me.

Such lovely beauty
but so, so sad;
I chopped off her head.

With a smile,
Of course!
Nothing else'd suffice.

Went upstairs.
Took her head.
Found a loose floorboard.

It's fun to imagine,
late at night.
She speaks to me.

Though quite
it's happened before.

I believe she's
what, the fourth
voice inside my head?

This is more of a poem than a song- though it might work. Hahaha.
wow... I wasn't expecting that, last line second stanza, that is very short but there's nothing wrong with that. I loved this, it's really cool. Very dark and creepy, to make it even better I would suggest looking up a poem call "Porphyria's Lover" I think that's the right spelling, it is extremely similar to this and will help a great deal I think. It is about an over obsessive love and this woman's lover strangles her with her own hair to conserve the beautiful moment they were sharing. It's a weird poem, but I thoroughly suggest reading it, it's good, well done, even though this is different it works really well, my favourite piece I've read in ages. Please crit mine, see sig lol!
I defecate all over my clothes to get extra protected
Roses are Red
Violets are Bitchin
God Dammit Woman
Get Back in the Kitchen
wow. i thought this was going to be a quirky cute love song and then it just gets psychotic.
Which is not a bad thing
the one almost-rhyme (sad/head) definitely detracted from things. I would find a synonym for one or the other
the end was perfect. so was the beginning.
Thanks for making me smile, it's been a hard day