#1
Step The **** Up


Verse:

What is the problem
Have you lost your damn mind
I am not the problem
But part of the grand design
YOU'LL NOT PLAGUE ME
IT'S BEEN WRITTEN IN YOUR BLOOD
WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO FACE
I'LL JUST PUSH YOU IN THE MUD

(Prechorus)

Chorus:
Why are you so
Persistant on ending me
You stand no Chance
My Lies are defending me
Step up you faggot
Braindead mother ****er
You stand no chance
GODDAMN MOTHER ****ER

Verse 2:
Haven't you Figured it out yet
You're not the master of your destiny
Why do you keep ****ing with me
Why are you testing me
YOU'LL NOT FIGHT ME
I WILL ANNIHILATE YOU
YOU'LL NOT FIGHT ME
I WILL ERASE YOU

Prechorus

Chorus

Breakdown

Solo

Breakdown

Verse 3:
You finally except this
And move on with your life
You except defeat at my hands
And relinquish your rights
YOU ARE RETARDED
A DUMB ****ING RIOT
GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER
AND YOU'LL BE OKAY

(prechorus)

(chorus X2)

(Prechorus-Out)

just a rebellius anthem. crit 4 crit
#2
Quote by relicmusic1990

You finally except this
And move on with your life
You except defeat at my hands


accept?



Stop highlighting my signature!!


</td><h1>yay!</h1>
#5
Well now, wasn't someone angry?

Why are you so


I'd take out the 'so' here (: the way i hear it in my head sound better without xD;

I don't really like any of the verses, you repeat the same things.. like 'problem' .. the chorus is better but i still dont fancy it too much..

Where's the 'prechorus' anyways? you don't have anything writen under it =|
#6
Seems similar to disturbed, just heavier maybe. I can't stand songs that swear violently, there are hundreds of other words you could use, and the use of the word retarded I strongly object against, I don't like the word anyway and others may find it offensive. Apart from that it should make a good metal song, btw, what's the pre-chorus? You haven't wriiten it down. But keep at it, please could you crit mine? Preferably Someone Else's Eyes - thanks
I defecate all over my clothes to get extra protected
Roses are Red
Violets are Bitchin
God Dammit Woman
Get Back in the Kitchen
#7
Im not a big fan of cussing in songs, I can tell you are mad but there are other ways of expressing anger besides that I thought this would make a decent metal song along the lines of slipknot if you dont mind criting one of mine the links in the sig thanks
#8
The prechorus is instrumental thats why there are no words under it. Thank you for the crits, appreciate all of them.