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#1
Alright, Pit. I need some help changing the words to the Weezer song, "My Name is Jonas" into "My Name is Jesus". I'm playing it during my religion class next week, and a friend is singing it. I only changed a few parts so far, but I'd like to really make it different. We may film it and stick it on youtube if it turns out not sucking.

Yeah, I know it's kind of gay, but I don't feel like making up a three minute prayer. I don't believe in the whole God deal anyway.

Help me think of things to do with it!


My name is Jesus!
I'm the King of the Jews.
Thanks for all you've shown us.
But this is how we feel.

Come sit next to me, pour yourself some tea.
Just like grandma made, when we couldn't find sleep.
Things were better then.
Once but never again.
We've all left the den, let me tell you bout it.

The caravan left right on time.
A ticket cost only your mind.
The driver said, "Hey man, we go all the way."
Of course, we were willing to pay!

My name is Jesus!
Got a box full of your sins.
They're fresh out of batteries.
But they're still making noise! Making noise!
Tell me what to do,
Now the tank is dry, now this wheel is flat, and you know what else!
Guess what I received in the mail today,
Words of deep concern, from my holy father.

The building's not going as planned...
The foreman has injured his hand,
The dozer will not clear a path,
The driver swears he learned his maths!

The prophets are going home.
Prophets are going home.
The prophets are going home.
The prophets are going home.
Yeah!

The prophets are going home.
The prophets are going home.
The prophets are going home.
Yeah yeah yeah!

My name is Jesus.
Last edited by CrossBack7 at Jan 14, 2009,
#2
this makes me think of cartman :p
gear :epiphone g400 custom
squier bullet strat
orange crush 15r
boss ds-2
fame ml-30
red hill CDG-3 SEQ

beaners gonna kick you in the face
#4
I did this a few years back. My friends and I thought it was the funniest thing ever.
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
#7
My name is Jesus!
I'm the King of the Jews.
Thanks for all you've shown us.
But this is how we feel, but who gives a ****, i'm jesus!

Come sit next to me, pour yourself some tea, and some for me too, i'm ****ing jesus
Just like grandma made, when we couldn't find sleep, but mine is better, for I am jesus!
Things were better then, but they're actually better now, for I am jesus!
Once but never again.
We've all left the den, let me tell you bout it, listen because I AM JESUS!

The caravan left right on time, because I.. jesus said so!
A ticket cost only your mind, and your soul!
The driver said, "Hey Jesus, we go all the way."
Of course, do you have condoms?

My name is Jesus!
Got a box full of your sins, also your soul
OR YOU'LL BURN IN ****ING HELL!
But they're still making noise! Making noise!
Tell me what to do,
No thanks I am Jesus
Now the tank is dry, now this wheel is flat, and you know what else!
Guess what I received in the mail today,
Words of deep concern, from my dad, he spelt my name wrong

The building's not going as planned...
The foreman has injured his hand,
The dozer will not clear a path,
The driver swears he learned his maths!

The workers are going home.
Workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
Yeah!

The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
Yeah yeah yeah!

MY NAME IS ****ING JESUS!
#8
My name is Jesus!
I'm the King of the Jews.
No matter what you do,
I'll just forgive you

^^CORNY AS ****ING HELL

Oh well it was the best thing I can think of.

Sorry if my sunday-school like lyric revision blinded you because of its cornyness.
Quote by user_nameless
You can go ahead and sponge my bob.

/notfunnyatalljoke.


Quote by halo43
When you date a vegetarian, you're the only meat they'll ever eat.
Last edited by tmfiore at Jan 14, 2009,
#11
Lol, nice.
■■■
'member The Pit of 10'? oH, I 'member!


╚═ ▼▲▼▲▼═╝
#12
The prophets are going home. are going home.
The prohets are going home.
etc.
My name is Jesus.


My contribution .
#13
What's with these jew priest dissin' my savior?
Why do they gotta front?
What did I ever do to these guys
That made them so violent?

buddy holly FTW
#14
Quote by Filter
My name is Jesus!
I'm the King of the Jews.
Thanks for all you've shown us.
But this is how we feel, but who gives a ****, i'm jesus!

Come sit next to me, pour yourself some tea, and some for me too, i'm ****ing jesus
Just like grandma made, when we couldn't find sleep, but mine is better, for I am jesus!
Things were better then, but they're actually better now, for I am jesus!
Once but never again.
We've all left the den, let me tell you bout it, listen because I AM JESUS!

The caravan left right on time, because I.. jesus said so!
A ticket cost only your mind, and your soul!
The driver said, "Hey Jesus, we go all the way."
Of course, do you have condoms?

My name is Jesus!
Got a box full of your sins, also your soul
OR YOU'LL BURN IN ****ING HELL!
But they're still making noise! Making noise!
Tell me what to do,
No thanks I am Jesus
Now the tank is dry, now this wheel is flat, and you know what else!
Guess what I received in the mail today,
Words of deep concern, from my dad, he spelt my name wrong

The building's not going as planned...
The foreman has injured his hand,
The dozer will not clear a path,
The driver swears he learned his maths!

The workers are going home.
Workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
Yeah!

The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
Yeah yeah yeah!

MY NAME IS ****ING JESUS!


I almost cried.

Keep them coming, these have been good.
Last edited by CrossBack7 at Jan 14, 2009,
#15
its a big band tapdance number:

hey im jesus, hey hey hey!
thats right im jesus, kill the gays!
and no i dont rap,
cause i just love to tap!

*jesus tapdance number*

well im jesus, im the boss!
if ya dont believe that, ill be quite cross!
(he cant get enough of that cross, shoobadowop)
yep im jesus, comin' back on judgement daaaayyyyy!

bridge:
so all you liberals, and commies too,
and every pagan, muslim and jew,
you beter convert, and convert well,
cause youre all goin straight to hell!

well im jesus, im the boss!
if ya dont believe that, ill be quite cross!
(he cant get enough of that cross, shoobadowop)
yep im jesus, comin' back on judgement daaaayyyyy!

*second tapdance solo* *big band outro*

*standing ovation from the audience*
.
..
...
I have no opinion on this matter.
#16
Quote by Zugunruhe
its a big band tapdance number:

hey im jesus, hey hey hey!
thats right im jesus, kill the gays!
and no i dont rap,
cause i just love to tap!

*jesus tapdance number*

well im jesus, im the boss!
if ya dont believe that, ill be quite cross!
(he cant get enough of that cross, shoobadowop)
yep im jesus, comin' back on judgement daaaayyyyy!

bridge:
so all you liberals, and commies too,
and every pagan, muslim and jew,
you beter convert, and convert well,
cause youre all goin straight to hell!

well im jesus, im the boss!
if ya dont believe that, ill be quite cross!
(he cant get enough of that cross, shoobadowop)
yep im jesus, comin' back on judgement daaaayyyyy!

*second tapdance solo* *big band outro*

*standing ovation from the audience*


I couldn't stop laughing lol
Awwww, that was good. I pick this one.
#20
My name is Jesus!
I'm the King of the Jews.
Thanks for all you've done for me.
But this is how I roll.

Come bow next to me, pour yourself some of me.
Just like God made, when He couldn't find sleep.
Things were better then.
Once but never again.
We've all left the den, let me tell you bout it.

The caravan left right on toll.
A ticket cost only your soul.
The driver said, "Hey man, I go all the way."
Of course, he was willing to pay!

My name is Jesus!
Got a box full of your sins.
They're fresh out of sacrifices.
But they're still making noise! Making noise!
Tell me what you want,
Now mind tank is dry, now this heart is flat, and you know what else!
Guess what I received in the mail today,
Words of deep concern, from my holy father.

The building's not going as planned...
The foreman has injured his hand,
The dozer will not clear a path,
The driver swears he learned his maths!

The workers are going home.
Workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
Yeah!

The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
Yeah yeah yeah!

My name is Jesus.
I got some good guitars, yo.
#21
Do that. But with more swearing and "I AM JESUS!" lines. It'd be awesome.


...and then post a video of it here of course.

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#22
My name is Jesus!
I'm the King of the Jews.
Thanks for nailing me to a cross
You really hurt my feelings.

Come sit next to my corpse, pour yourself some tea.
Just like grandma made, when we couldn't find sleep.
Things were better then.
Once but maybe again.
I've left the den, i was resurrected

yeah i got bored
Member of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

Last.fm
#23
Quote by Leat
My name is Jesus!
I'm the King of the Jews.
Thanks for all you've done for me.
But this is how I roll.

Come bow next to me, pour yourself some of me.
Just like God made, when He couldn't find sleep.
Things were better then.
Once but never again.
We've all left the den, let me tell you bout it.

The caravan left right on toll.
A ticket cost only your soul.
The driver said, "Hey man, I go all the way."
Of course, he was willing to pay!

My name is Jesus!
Got a box full of your sins.
They're fresh out of sacrifices.
But they're still making noise! Making noise!
Tell me what you want,
Now mind tank is dry, now this heart is flat, and you know what else!
Guess what I received in the mail today,
Words of deep concern, from my holy father.

The building's not going as planned...
The foreman has injured his hand,
The dozer will not clear a path,
The driver swears he learned his maths!

The workers are going home.
Workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
Yeah!

The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
The workers are going home.
Yeah yeah yeah!

My name is Jesus.


lol. I dunno if I'd get in trouble for that or not, but I may use part of it.

I'm editing parts in as I see them.
#24
Do it to the tune of Iron Man.

"I....AM....JEEEESUSSSS"

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#25
Quote by Zugunruhe
its a big band tapdance number:

hey im jesus, hey hey hey!
thats right im jesus, kill the gays!
and no i dont rap,
cause i just love to tap!

*jesus tapdance number*

well im jesus, im the boss!
if ya dont believe that, ill be quite cross!
(he cant get enough of that cross, shoobadowop)
yep im jesus, comin' back on judgement daaaayyyyy!

bridge:
so all you liberals, and commies too,
and every pagan, muslim and jew,
you beter convert, and convert well,
cause youre all goin straight to hell!

well im jesus, im the boss!
if ya dont believe that, ill be quite cross!
(he cant get enough of that cross, shoobadowop)
yep im jesus, comin' back on judgement daaaayyyyy!

*second tapdance solo* *big band outro*

*standing ovation from the audience*

That's hilarious. I imagined it with the bassline from "Hit the Road Jack."
#26
JE-SUS
TEACH US

I'm Jesus, I'll teach ya,
But no, I won't **** ya.
All you ****ers form a line,
And on the jews we will dine!

We'll crunch their bones
Smash 'em with stones
Gouge out the eyes
Until the last one dies

I'm Jesus.
**** you.
I'm Jesus.
Suck my dick.

MOTHER****ING JESUS CHRIST
There hath he lain for ages and will lie,
Battening on huge seaworms in his sleep;
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
Last edited by Abhorred One at Jan 14, 2009,
#27
End of passion play, crumbling away
Im your source of ressurection
Veins that pump with fear, sucking darkest clear
Leading on your deaths construction

[chorus:]
Taste me you will see
More is all you need
Youre dedicated to
How Im saving you

Come crawling faster
Obey your master
Your life burns faster
Obey your master
Master

Master of puppets Im pulling your strings
Glorifiying your soul and saving your dreams
Blinded by sin, you cant see a thing
Just call my name, `cause Ill hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, `cause Ill hear you scream
Master
Master
[end chorus]

Needlework the way, never you betray
Life of death becoming clearer
Holy offering, ritual communing
Chop your eucharist in a church choir!

[chorus]

Master, master, yours are the dreams that Ive been after?
Master, master, you promised are in time
Savoir, savioir, all I hear and see is saviour
Savoir, savioir, laughing at my cries

Heven is worth all that, natural habitat
Just a rhyme without a reason
Neverending maze, drift on numbered days
Now your life is for the season

[chorus]
Quote by guitar-godfrey
when i grow up i wanna have blackandsilver's babies!

Quote by angusfan16

Quote by Scowmoo
..
HOLY HELL.

nice discovery, sir.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by coryklok : Today at 01:10 PM.
#29
Master Of Puppets

End of passion play, crumbling away
I'm your source of self-destruction
Veins that pump with fear, sucking dark is clear
Leading on your deaths construction

Taste me you will see
More is all you need
Dedicated to
How I'm killing you

Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master

Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master

Needlework the way, never you betray
Life of death becoming clearer
Pain monopoly, ritual misery
Chop your breakfast on a mirror

Taste me you will see
More is all you need
Dedicated to
How I'm killing you

Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master

Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master

Master, Master, where's the dreams that I've been after?
Master, Master, you promised only lies
Laughter, Laughter, all I hear or see is laughter
Laughter, Laughter, laughing at my cries
Hell is worth all that, natural habitat
Just a rhyme without a reason
Neverending maze, drift on numbered days
now your life is out of season
I will occupy
I will help you die
I will run through you
Now I rule you too

Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master

Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
Quote by Necrophagist777
I'm ORION, LORD OF EVIL, give me your soul and breathe in my darkness.

YOU WILL NOT ENJOY THIS......
╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
#30
Quote by 0RI0N
Master Of Puppets

End of passion play, crumbling away
I'm your source of self-destruction
Veins that pump with fear, sucking dark is clear
Leading on your deaths construction

Taste me you will see
More is all you need
Dedicated to
How I'm killing you

Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master

Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master

Needlework the way, never you betray
Life of death becoming clearer
Pain monopoly, ritual misery
Chop your breakfast on a mirror

Taste me you will see
More is all you need
Dedicated to
How I'm killing you

Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master

Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master

Master, Master, where's the dreams that I've been after?
Master, Master, you promised only lies
Laughter, Laughter, all I hear or see is laughter
Laughter, Laughter, laughing at my cries
Hell is worth all that, natural habitat
Just a rhyme without a reason
Neverending maze, drift on numbered days
now your life is out of season
I will occupy
I will help you die
I will run through you
Now I rule you too

Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master

Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master



Damn, both versions of that are good, but I couldn't play Master of Puppets on my shi t acoustic with my shi t skills.
#31
Quote by CrossBack7
Damn, both versions of that are good, but I couldn't play Master of Puppets on my shi t acoustic with my shi t skills.


I put up the actual lyrics. I didn't edit them at all.
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
Quote by Necrophagist777
I'm ORION, LORD OF EVIL, give me your soul and breathe in my darkness.

YOU WILL NOT ENJOY THIS......
╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
#33
"If you serve God for money you serve the devil"

From a JMT song
I'm dancing in the moonlight
It's caught me in its spotlight
Dancing in the moonlight
On this long hot summer night


Martin D-28
#34
Quote by CrossBack7
I noticed, but I've never looked at them in print. It'd still fit pretty well. Anyone have anything for the "foreman" verse?


Master of puppets is about drugs.
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
Quote by Necrophagist777
I'm ORION, LORD OF EVIL, give me your soul and breathe in my darkness.

YOU WILL NOT ENJOY THIS......
╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
#35
Quote by Stingray5
Do Buddy Holly!


Oh we oh I look just like Jesus Christ
oh oh and you're Mary Magdalin
#37
this reminds me of GH3.

*starts playing it in the air.*
red red red, red red red. bluuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeee.
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#38
that is actually really funny. My band should do that song. we're all atheists.
Quote by Killian5-0
I was looking at a friend of mines baby that was just born and I said "He's younger than me"

Quote by Rocker_geek
nexteyenate you win
Linux
#39
My name is Jesus,
Im Carrying the Cross,
"Thanks for all you've shown us!,
Now we'll show you who's boss"

Come sit next to me, pour youself some tea
Just like Judas made, before he betrayed
Things were better then.
Once but never again.
We've all left the den, let me tell you bout it.

I Forgive every-thing
A cross cost only your king
The romans said, "Hey man, we go all the way."
Of course, we were willing to pay!

My name is Jesus!
Got a hand full of your nail's
They're fresh out of blood
But they're still bleeding more, Bleeding mooorreee
Tell me what to do,
Now the faith is dry, now this wheel is flat, and you know what else!
Guess what I received in the mail today,
A bible that Zombie Jesus, once made

The murder's not going as planned...
He's back 3 days later and mad
Zombie jesus stand there and laughs
And now zombie Jesus can do math

The prophets are going home.
Prophets are going home.
The prophets are going home.
The prophets are going home.
Yeah!

The prophets are going home.
The prophets are going home.
The prophets are going home.
Yeah yeah yeah!


I AM ZOMBIE JESUS


yeah?
Quote by ZanasCross
I'm now so drunk that even if my mom had given me a blow job at aeg 2, i'd be like I'm a pmp, butches.!

If this even madkes sense... if yhou sig this, Iw ll kill you.
Last edited by cliff_em_all at Jan 14, 2009,
#40
Hang Me Up to Dry by Cold War Kids was playing when I saw this thread. That could have been nicely Jesusified, but My Name Is Jesus is good.

Buddy Holly could have worked quite well.

What's with these Romans, dissing my Lord?
Why do they gotta front?
What did we ever do to these guys,
That made them so violent?

Woo-hoo, but you know I'm the Lord
Woo-hoo, and I'm of bread and wine
Woo-hoo, and I got cruxified

Ooeeoo I'm the same person as the Holy
Spi-rit, and you're Mary Magdelene.
I don't care what they pray about us anyway,
I don't care about that.

Don't you ever fear,
I will be back here.
Just give me 3 days.
Judas' tongue is twisted, his eyes are slit,
But I'll forgive him anyway.

Woo-hoo, and the blind will be cured.
Woo-hoo, and the damned will be saved.
Woo-hoo, and I'll bust right out of that cave

Ooeeoo I'm the same person as the Holy
Spi-rit, and you're Mary Magdelene.
I don't care what they pray about us anyway,
I don't care about that.
I don't care about that.

Bang bang, knock on the door
Another big bang, get down on the floor.
Oh noes! What do we do?
Judas will kiss me cos I'm the King Jew.
The Romans will stick me on a big stick
Then there'll be a religion full of bullshi t.
Christian, Judaism, Islam too,
It's all a load of wank but what can you do?
Oh oooh oooh oooooh ooh ooh
(solo)
(And I got cruxifiiiiiied)

Ooeeoo it's a big load of bollocks,
Oh-oh, and yet millions still believe.
Oppression, war and bad shi t all happen in my name,
But I don't care about that.
I don't care about that.
I don't care about that.
I don't care about that.

Ok so some of it is a bit off and it turns into a little bit of an atheist rant at the end, but what they gonna do? Censor you? Probably...
I'm so adjective, I verb nouns.
Last edited by Bumcivilian at Jan 14, 2009,
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