Hey guys I'm in a bit of a pinch.

I need to write a rap battle for drama class, as the title suggests. It needs to be slightly midevil but not over the top. No swearing. The battle is between a king and a thief, it needs to be about one minute.

It's due pretty soon and I wanna get it in on time.

Thanks pit
Quote by SamuelBirkett
wtf r u say make no sensical

yoeth, i heardeth thou liketh kings, so we puteth a thief in yo king, so thou can stealeth while you rule
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add me and say you are from the pit
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yoeth, i heardeth thou liketh kings, so we puteth a thief in yo king, so thou can stealeth while you rule

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What a coincidence one time I ****ed your cousin in the eye.
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Just re-write 'My Dick' by Mickey Avalon

instead of dick.. use penis
"Yo king, how ya doing, my name is randy
all I was a-stealin' was some rare eye candy
you dun have to go all midevil on my ass
last time I checked that wasn't class
if ya gonna punish me, do it now
'cause I'll be gone in a squint of an eyebrow!"

Courtroom: "hollah!"

"Yo thief, im doin' fine, I'd love to rebuttle
but you now I ain't subtle (-how do you spell that?-)
if we're gonna rap this out, we know what its about

no idea man, I'm not a rapper....
Last edited by Nilpferdkoenig at Jan 14, 2009,
Hey, you lowly thief,
wastin' my time stealin' my rhymes,
would you find it pleasant to be a peasant?
no? then keep your hands off what's mine,
i heard you robbed the lady josephine,
and got schemes for the cobbler's cash too.
you wanna wrassle in my castle?
i might just splitcha in two.

Oh King. It on, you must bring
cause i'll make like a bumblebee and sting
your behind until its pink. i think
you've got the wrong man,
i haven't heard of any plan
to rob the cobbler but his daughter
looks sweet like marzipan.
get off the high throne, and leave me alone
to rob and steal is real, but really, i wouldn't know.
King: Yo, thief, on yo knees nigga, befo' you get yoself shot
you try stealin' my bling, but nigga, you got caught
if you got sumthin' to say, say it now, you damn thief
befo' i turn you ova' ta my royal police

Thief: **** tha police
Comin straight from the underground
Young nigga got it bad cuz I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority

**** that ****, cuz I ain't tha one
For a punk mutha****a with a badge and a gun
To be beatin on, and throwin in jail
We could go toe to toe in the middle of a cell

****in with me cuz I'm a teenager
With a little bit of gold and a pager
Searchin my car, lookin for the product
Thinkin every nigga is sellin narcotics

You'd rather see me in the pen
Then me and Lorenzo rollin in the Benzo
Beat tha police outta shape
And when I'm finished, bring the yellow tape
To tape off the scene of the slaughter
Still can't swallow bread and water

I don't know if they fags or what
Search a nigga down and grabbin his nuts
And on the other hand, without a gun they can't get none
But don't let it be a black and a white one
Cuz they slam ya down to the street top
Black police showin out for the white cop
kill all humans
I like to fap,
this is my rap.
I hang out in The Pit,
I want a banana split

#57 in UG Top 100 2010!

I really ought to get my username changed...
Realized you said BATTLE after I had this wrote, but fuk it

Hey yo Arthur, drop me some of that funky s**t..

Friday night, had nothin to do,
When my Squire Lil' Jon says "I got an idea for you.."
So we rolled into Camelot, me and my homes'
Lookin for blow, cause we was startin to jones
Got to the dealers and what do we find,
Mothafuka in his smallclothes losin his mind,
Screamin thieves, thieves, they robbed me blind!!"
He said "sorry boys, you're s**t outta luck,
It was that lil b**ch in spandex and his partner Friar Tuck
"In the heart of the westlands I were born and raised" - Thief
"In the mudfields did thou learn thy evil trade?" - King
"Tending to pigs, sheep and goats" -Thief
"Lurking in alleys, knives to throats?" - King
"When my fortune didth make a turn for the worse, - Thief
casting me out from my belov'd hearth"
"Twelve guineas stolen from the merchant class?" -King
"It was an accident, I promise! My lord, my last!" - Thief

"Hmm, well, Nevertheless a crime has been committed, - King
Banishment doth seem a suitable fitting"
"Please my lord, don't cast me out!" - Thief
"Enough of this, begone trout...word". - King

Done to the rhymthic timing of The prince of Bel-air
Member of The Bass Militia. PM DinkyDaisy to join.
Co-Founding member of the Save the Funk club. PM jimmypage27 or me to join.
Founding Member of "Using gay as an insult proclaims your idiocy" club.
Member #11 of the UG RIP Cliff Burton Club

King: Fuck the thief coming straight from the underground! Young peasant got it bad 'cause he's brown. And not the other color so peasants think, they have the authority to steal from a king.

Thief: Now I've got task on a king's ass, tell me will they duel me. I think of an alias in case these crooked guards ask me, now. It's gettin crazy after dark, these knights be like trying to shut me down but I'm too smart. Now picture me scared of the rack, I've been moving these things since the days of Nostradamus. Now tell me what ya need when ya see me.
I'm stacking jewels buying all the things in town, believe me.

King: So you just admitted to stealing?

Thief: ...

Thief: Fuck.

It's really shitty, I know, but it's the first thing that came to mind.
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CFH82, I love you. I didn't laugh, but my god, I love you.

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Holy shit, that was epic. A mighty roar escapeth'd my mouth.

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I saw a penis.

Last edited by CFH82 at Jan 14, 2009,
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Yorkshire

In west Geneva born and raised
In the royal court was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all smelting some ore outside of the school
When a couple of thieves
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my village
I got in one little fight and the King got pissed
he said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Yorkshire'

I whistled for a horse and when it came near
The coach said fresh and it had dice on the horse
If anything I can say this coach is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Yorksihre'

I pulled up to the castle about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the coach driver 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my castle
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Yorkshire
James "The Rev" Sullivan
May He Rest In Peace
Last edited by guitar4life24 at Jan 14, 2009,