#1
Yup, it's another one of my songs with a really bad rhyme scheme lol. This song is about something that happened to me a while back involving a close "friend" but it's not just about my experiences, it's about human nature in general and how people can be cruel, not to just each other but to themselves as well. Please excuse the rhyme scheme, as guess that's becoming one of my "signature moves" lol, enjoy and please crit.

Fair Weathered

Hiding in the shadows of regret
Always too eager to risk and bet
Fair weathered and good for nothing
Don’t waste these chances, cuz I’m not bluffing

Turn the other cheek and not your back
When they are in need it’s the friendship you lack
You never think when you steal someone’s trust away
This very same thing may happen to you one day

It’s useless me saying these words now,
You say you’re gunna change but you don’t know how
This pretence has been going on for far too long
Guilty looks paint your face when I know you’ve done wrong

Turn the other cheek and not your back
When they are in need it’s the friendship you lack
You never think when you steal someone’s trust away
This very same thing may happen to you one day

I don’t know how much more I can take
There should be an end to these lies you create
Promises are made as quick as they are broken
You think words mean nothing until they are spoken


I used to know you so well
Everything I once loved has disappeared
Do you still know who I am?
Because I fear I don’t know who you are

Turn the other cheek and not your back
When they are in need it’s the friendship you lack
You never think when you steal someone’s trust away
This very same thing may happen to you one day
I defecate all over my clothes to get extra protected
Roses are Red
Violets are Bitchin
God Dammit Woman
Get Back in the Kitchen
#2
Most of the rhymes sound awkward to me. I personally like to do an every-other-line rhyme scheme. Other than the rhyming, the lyrics are pretty good. Oh, and btw, you're only supposed to post one song a day.
#3
This is my first song today and thanks for the crit
I defecate all over my clothes to get extra protected
Roses are Red
Violets are Bitchin
God Dammit Woman
Get Back in the Kitchen
#4
Hm, have you put it to music yet? The rhythm seems kind of off but if it works when you sing it, then it's all good.
It's a little repetitive in what it's saying.. some of the lines just don't add much of anything to the song. I don't mean it offensively, as it's a pretty solid song, you might just wanna brush up a little
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#5
hey, i don't want to get your thread closed, but this is your third piece in 5 days.
so i won't report it, because i've read all your stuff recently, and this is my favorite out of them.
#6
Thanks a lot, I got told it was one a day. Thanks for the comment, and this is my least fav. so far, Someone Else's Eyes was my fav, what is it about this one that makes it your fav? This is the only one where I've really put my feelings into it, everyone has been through the lyrics of "I Don't Need You" but this is the first song about something not everyone has evperienced. Thanks again, means a lot
I defecate all over my clothes to get extra protected
Roses are Red
Violets are Bitchin
God Dammit Woman
Get Back in the Kitchen