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#1
This will be, without a doubt, the most incredible piece of music ever. You'll laugh and you'll cry. Never would you believe that the life of a train-hopping hobo could make for such incredible, moving music.

The lyrics, deep as they are, are not yet complete as you will see. Suggestions for that would be more than welcome.
Attachments:
Hobo King.zip
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#2
You sound very confident about this, brace for crit.

Edit; You sir, have made my day. I did actually laugh at that, didn't cry so much though.

Crit;
Well, the music is very simple, which is usually a hugh neon lit no for me in music, however i get the impression that this song is more about the story than the virtuosity, so I guess i'll crit it on the story; Amazing. I really did love the chorus lyrics. As for suggestions for more lyrics, perhaps a verse of nonsensical drunken rambling? Or perhaps him inventing a new technique of begging for money that helps him in his rise to power? I'll muse over it and report back if I come up with any ideas.
Last edited by lukephillips000 at Jan 15, 2009,
#3
Sarcasm doesn't work so well over the internet.
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#5
Quote by lukephillips000
You sound very confident about this, brace for crit.

Edit; You sir, have made my day. I did actually laugh at that, didn't cry so much though.

Crit;
Well, the music is very simple, which is usually a hugh neon lit no for me in music, however i get the impression that this song is more about the story than the virtuosity, so I guess i'll crit it on the story; Amazing. I really did love the chorus lyrics. As for suggestions for more lyrics, perhaps a verse of nonsensical drunken rambling? Or perhaps him inventing a new technique of begging for money that helps him in his rise to power? I'll muse over it and report back if I come up with any ideas.


I personally enjoy Dream Theater and Opeth and prog in general, but I really don't think a song about a hobo should be laden with virtuosity.
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#7
Quote by KingGohma
I personally enjoy Dream Theater and Opeth and prog in general, but I really don't think a song about a hobo should be laden with virtuosity.



Don't worry man, I can see where you are coming from with the song, an overly complex epic wouldn't have really fit the theme :p
#9
Quote by Hadeed
it kind of reminds me of greenday - hitchin' a ride,


Not a fan of Green Day so any resemblance is coincidental.
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#10
Hey, I think your song fit pretty well into your description, even if it was meant to be sarcastic . Anyway, the chorus was great and I really enjoyed the part starting at bar 37, played by the Angry Biscuit Man haha. This is one really creative and catchy song that I think would fit great playing around a campfire or something like that. The only part that I thought could be better was the solo, but I think it said in there that it didn't sound quite like you wanted it to. Anyway, that was a great song and it made me laugh out loud. Thanks.

Anyway, C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1041125
#11
Brilliant. It made me laugh, but it was also really good to listen to. Only criticisms I could make of it is the Rise to Power bit is a bit long, probably would have been good to hear the chorus again near the end, but other than that it was awesome.



"Intense yet intricate" Scottish melodeath band, who have been reviewed live by Terrorizer, Metalgigs and Valkyrian Music in the past year

Get our debut EP Helveien, for free download.
#13
Dear Gods, please record this, or make a flash video or something.

edit: I just realized the line of "somethings" was just a placeholder as opposed to the drunken ramblings of an intoxicated hobo :P

IMO, keep the "somethings", just slur your esses and throw up before the "But the"

also, this is really catchy, I've found myself learning the lyrics
Last edited by psyks at Jan 17, 2009,
#14
Quote by Jarusafes
Hey, I think your song fit pretty well into your description, even if it was meant to be sarcastic . Anyway, the chorus was great and I really enjoyed the part starting at bar 37, played by the Angry Biscuit Man haha. This is one really creative and catchy song that I think would fit great playing around a campfire or something like that. The only part that I thought could be better was the solo, but I think it said in there that it didn't sound quite like you wanted it to. Anyway, that was a great song and it made me laugh out loud. Thanks.

Anyway, C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1041125


Yep, the solo doesn't sound how Iwant it to. Its also fairly poor in general and I need to work on it.
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#18
i dont know whether you know or not... but the chorus is DEFINITELY ripped off from something. i cant put my finger on it
My Metal (gp5) Songs


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#19
It's not all good, but the good bits are fantastic. The start is very catchy, and it all flows well from there until the solo basically. I'm looking forward to hearing it with completed lyrics (i'm assuming you will finish it.)


But the high-way whis-pers my name
It's tell-in' me to grow a beard and go in-sane
The lord of a-lley-ways and freight trains,
I'm the ho-bo king.


That's gold.

You've inspired me to upload my silly song.
#20
i love it
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#21
Quote by jamesdtsx
i dont know whether you know or not... but the chorus is DEFINITELY ripped off from something. i cant put my finger on it


That's like pointing at any given punk song and screaming that its unoriginal. Its generic sounding, so it probably does sound like something you know. It's not an intentional rip off of anything though.
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#22
Quote by KingGohma
That's like pointing at any given punk song and screaming that its unoriginal. Its generic sounding, so it probably does sound like something you know. It's not an intentional rip off of anything though.

Yeah...i think 'I'm the Hobo King' sounds pretty similar too "Me 'n' my robot friend' from the Awesome-o 4000 episode of south park. But i thought it sounded pretty familiar before that too.

Genericism, (is that a word?) does not equal theft.
#25
haha, not bad at all. It reminds me of The Who's "Tommy", but sillier. The line about going insane was the only part that really made me laugh, but I can see that you are still working on the lyrics. I agree with what someone said earlier about adding in drunken rambling lyrics, I think that'd be awesome. This screams rock opera. Maybe you could give the other characters lines? I'd be very interested to hear what train station jesus has to say! Tres Bien
#26
A note to all: The instrument names are based off people I see every day on my morning commute. They are not necessarily 'characters'.
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#27
^^...just a suggestion, anyway. I realized I didn't really say anything about the music, which was solid. The solo wasn't mind blowing but personally I would go for something discordant, like you'd expect to hear from a hobo on the street. And I still think it would be awesome as a rock opera, but thats just me.

**punches you for posting in the UG forums**
#30
I'm working harder on the lyrics now. They're getting better.
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#31
ah come on guys that was awesome. The whole song had me rofling throughout
#32
If an actual hobo performed it I would die of joy.
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#34
This is an amazing song. I love the feel of it and the track names were just so perfect. Its so catchy too man, 10/10
#35
Lol ****ing awesome XD

I love dream theater and stuff too, but this sort of music never goes wrong xD

reminds me a lot of something flogging molly could have made :P

I can't stop listening to it, ****ing great dude xD
#37
Hit a bit of a rut with these lyrics. Any suggestions?
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#38
Did nobody else catch "but the goonsack won't let me go back"? That was a major highlight for me. I want to see it strung with a straight face.
#39
Goonsacks are amazing. I have written another song called "Goonsack Blues".
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#40
That was fantastic, i'll be watching for updates.
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