#1
So yeah, new song. Been listening to a lot of protest the hero lately lol I'll do c4c when I get the chance to return crits.

Edit: alright I got rid of the riff from wretch in the outro haha, and I put in a weird 9/8 riff thing instead
Attachments:
New prog metal.zip
Last edited by zakatak9389 at Jan 18, 2009,
#2
first of all holy crap! that made silent night bodom night sound easy. IF you can play like that I have a lot of respect for you the best part of it was probably the the 3 solo parts they seemed really well written and sounded melodic yet metal at the same time. The only thing is that the solos kinda blend in with the lead lines alot but thats minor but overall really great job
you can listen to this if ya want its not quite finished yet but I would appreciate your opinion
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1043788 i posted it here but no one gave me any feedback
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That's such a ****ing brilliant idea!
#4
Hey champ. I won't crit the whole song, but rather point out some of the key factors.

I definitely heard a Protest The Hero influence. Lots of similar rhythmic ideas to Limb From Limb from Fortress, as well as Wretch. Nice job though - nothing sounded plagiarized.

Your leads were tasteful for the most part, but the alteration between 4/4 to 5/4 mid way through the song was INCREDIBLY forced. We all know you're a great composer and guitarist! There's no need to force complexity to impress anyone. Maybe with some work, it could flow more efficiently, but even the extra notes were unnecessary, in my opinion. But hey, it could very well be something that needs to be heard the RIGHT way, if you catch my drift (you have to hear the rhythm accents in a certain fashion).

On the other hand, your lead sections were fantastic, and I picked up the Scar Symmetry influence.
"Hey, this sounds like The Illusionist!" *Looks at Lead II* "Hey, cool!"

Very well done. I preferred the song a whole lot more once that brutality factor took part. But I'm sure without the earlier thrashy stylings, the impact wouldn't be near as vast.

Oh, and your ending tapping riff - reminded me SO much of Sequoia Throne! It took me a moment to put my finger on it, but that's gotta be it!

All in all, another great effort, but a few nuisances need to be examined, in my opinion. And sorry if my crit seemed too harsh.

EDIT: Forgot to mention - excellent breakdown. It actually served purpose and was constructed intellectually, rather than just added pointlessly - as in almost every song nowadays -.-". And the delayed tapping section within it truly gave a sense of impending doom. Fantastic work there especially.

Oh, and don't think I didn't notice your PTH theft at bar 200 :p

EDIT: Care to crit mine? It's labeled as Water Colors in my sig Although if you have time after that, there's Marzipan, too. I really need crit for Water Colors though
Last edited by juckfush at Jan 25, 2009,
#5
The whole thing was excellent. 8/10. This is what I think of it Piece by Piece

Intro-The Intro was great, heavy and just fascinating, I like the leads, very fast and exciting

Verses- i thought they flowed very well, good heavyness.

Neoclassical part- Very nice, i love the guitar work in your song

verse- same as above.

Sweep Riff- Sick ****, man. Sick ****.

Melodic part- i would have slowed it down a bit here and then built up to the next fast part, but that's just me.

Solo 1- really good. good rhythm section and the solo fit perfectly with it. nice job, man.

chorus- really cool, oh and i like the use of the 7-string guitar in this song.

tapping riff- epic dude, very epic excellent job.

funky riff part flowed well, but imo, it's kind of unneccesary, just my opinion.

the next tapping part- very good not much else to say.

heavy riff- is exactly that, not much more to say. good job.

Solo II & III- very good, the first one reminded me of a stone sour solo, kinda.

Technical riff- good stuff, excellent job.

heavy riff- same as above

diminished lick- pretty good, again imo, kinda unneccesary, sorry.

outro very cool, not much else to say.

over very good musicianship, 8/10.
Please crit these, thank you.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1048233
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1046619
#6
intro: ahh zaks favorite rhythm, 4 sixteenths in a row with an eighth rest in between. intro wasnt catchy or amazing, but midi does not do it justice. i bet it would sound a lot better in real life. nice 2/4 bar, without it it wouldnt have that sudden attacking feel. nice one. bar 11 i start headbanging. which is a good thing. bar 19=SO PROTEST THE HERO! but it is so good. really good. i wish youd record this... so i could have it on my ipod. that lead is tasty.the octave up makes it sound like we should be preparing for something. which here is your insane song. good manipulation of the listeners emotions. harmony at 31= good, drums before verse 1=good. BUT, bar 27-34 would sound better not in the song. listen to the cool transition from 26 to verse 1, i like it. good everything in the verse. knowing what youre going for (pth), verse 2 should be a little less repetitive and more varied i think, perhaps less 763's. perfect time for the neoclassical interlude, all notes and rhythms dead on. might i mention good drums and change of cymbals in verse 2. i dont know what you prefer, but 73 and 74 together can be two 4/4 bars. i like 75 alot, and just what came before it. perfection. i always like it when songs bring something back from 5 minutes ago and change it and make it mre intense with different rhythms. melodic section was so perfectly fit into the rest of the song flow that it is seamless. i like the constant time sig change, it doesnt sound out of place or too on purpose. thats reaaaaalllly good. i can really see your influences and your style. it might surprise you that ive analyzed a lot of your music especially anubis (and i hum along the notes of every part.) so i see things that you often use. solo 1 was ok, but not your best. 104, again we see your oft used rhythm, eighth note octaves, with a legato slide at the beginning. whatever. thats your style and im tempted to use it. nice bring bak of the funky scale, nice interlude type. and nice tapping lol. what is that funky scale anyway? heavy riff=perfect, i love that rhythm with that drums. also tchy riff and heavy again. diminished thing=so pth again, i love it. this is like your and protest the heros brain child, my two favorite bands. outro=direct rip off as that dude said.. now that i think about it part of your song sounds like 3:00 from the dissentience. and that outro is from 1:45 from wretch. what a great ending. sweet ass ending man. overall...
a modest zak/10. im not rating you anymore... its like rating john petrucci on his music. i see your style really coming up, which is very good cause im having difficulty finding my own style.
but really, 9/10. C4C mine? the protest inspired one in my sig. have a nice day
My Metal (gp5) Songs


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#7
First off, this is actually pretty damn sick, i would personally cut the 'Melodic Section' which seems a little out of place.
But otherwise, keep up this incredible dream theater worthy work..
#9
As I listen:

I really like the intro, not so much for the chugging guitars, which isn't really my thing, but the drums are really well written and make this good. Also, that pause really works. Can't say I'm really a fan of the first lead line - seems a bit too dissonant and i'm not a fan of the choppy rhythm. From 27 though, the lead is much better, and I love the change into the next riff. These rhythm riffs are really good as well, but I don't really like verse 2 at all - then again it is the same scale pattern as the earlier one i didn't like lol

Neoclassical is bloody brilliant. Nothing more to say. Most of the sweep riff I didn't like, but bar 84 worked really well melodically. The melodic section - whilst I really wanted to see it in this piece, I thought the transition was terrible - very jerky and not at all like you...I think it's partly because you don't lead into the G# at all, play an F# instead as the last note of bar 90 i suppose, something different. Also I think this is partly down to the fact that the drum roll doesn't work on gpro, it sort of fades into the background.

Good melodic section though, and the first solo fits the piece nicely and leads well into the chorus with your trademark octave riffs. The tapping bit fits very well also - good work, especially if you can play it! great chops there. haha and then the return of that funky scale i don't really like (it's the A#). The "more tapping" part is again, exceptional, but I kinda wish you'd built it into another epic section....then again, the breakdown works, and as someone already said - it's purposeful.

This solo (2) is very Petrucci like on Systematic Chaos. Nice and rhythmic, good buildup to the next solo - again very solid. Strange, I normally have loads to say about solos but this one is just solid lol - I do like it though, very different to most of your older solos. I like the techy thing as well, and a good fadeout into breakdown 2.

The diminished stuff works well as does the 9/8 stuff - brings a sense of urgency, and I really like the way you close this all out. Whilst there are parts of it I don't really like, the most part of it is very cleverly thought out and it's great to see you taking lots of different influences and putting them together. As always, keep them coming