#1
Let's post some anti-lulz. They should be so anti-lulz they're actually hilarious. I'll start with some:

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family and career.

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender goes "why the long face?". The horse replies, "my wife just died".

"Knock, Knock"
"Who's there?"
"It's Colonel Sanderson from the United States Marine Corps. I regret to inform you that your son Charles has been killed while serving his country in Iraq."

Did you hear about the Polish carpenter?
He provided good craftsmenship at competive prices.

A blonde discovers that her car won't start. So she opens the hood, notices the distributor cap is loose and tightens it. She also notices that some corrosion has built up and decides to clean off the battery connections.
She then starts her car and drives away in a safe and reasonable fashion.

Have you heard about the new Polish navy?
It works closely with NATO on certain maritime issues.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate
to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set
for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply
distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the
added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother
was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her
quite forgetful and distracted of late.
Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually
encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging
itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture
removalists van as it attempted to make its way home.
Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental
Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken,
being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen
trout fisherman.
"Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for
excellent trout flys". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most
iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope.
He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the
clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.
#3
U HAZ AIDS LOLZ!


Cyanide and Happiness FTW!!



Tonight, we stagger out from the basement...


I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.

...Or fall to our deaths from above
#4
Quote by boreamor
A man walks into a bar.
The searchbar.


Quote by blackenedktulu
CFH82, I love you. I didn't laugh, but my god, I love you.

Quote by Zero-Hartman
Holy shit, that was epic. A mighty roar escapeth'd my mouth.

Quote by WyvernOmega
I saw a penis.

last.fm
#6
How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
With today's current economic situation, Americans will be lucky if they have electricity at all.