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#1
Its a mad lib type thing, but I figure the pit can make some epic inauguration speeches

http://www.atom.com/spotlights/inauguration_speech_generator/


Here's my first one:
My fellow Americans, today is a dystopian day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "mudkipz", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually suck.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces hawt and soft challenges like never before. Our economy is hard. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for pedobears. Our healthcare system is small. If your pen0r is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a professional fapper. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a tit tit. But fapping together we can right this ship, and set a course for my dick.

Finally, I must thank my huge family, my massive campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank pit monkeys for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of masturbating the American people. Without your sweet efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Last edited by dmakian at Jan 18, 2009,
#2
*tumbleweed*
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
You can't prove that people DON'T walk on water. turn water into wine etc.
#3
Aww, I was hoping you could insert lyrics. I was going to transform the Bel-Air theme song.
#5
*waits for someone to put 'penis' under everything*

EDIT:

Did it myself.

My fellow Americans, today is a penis day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "penis", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually penis.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces penis and penis challenges like never before. Our economy is penis. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for penis. Our healthcare system is penis. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a penis. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a penis penis. But penising together we can right this ship, and set a course for penis.

Finally, I must thank my penis family, my penis campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank penises for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of penis the American people. Without your penis efforts, none of this would have been possible.
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
Last edited by SoWrongItsMatt at Jan 18, 2009,
#6
Inb4 hopefully

My fellow Americans, today is a Fapalicious day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "Fapper", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually Fap to.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces Faptastic and Fapalicious challenges like never before. Our economy is Fap. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for Fapper. Our healthcare system is Fap. If your Fap Stick is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Fapper. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Fap cream Fap juice. But Fapping together we can right this ship, and set a course for Faptown.

Finally, I must thank my Faply family, my Faptastic campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Fappers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of Fapping the American people. Without your Fapalicious efforts, none of this would have been possible.
#7
Quote by Obama

Finally, I must thank my horny family, my retarded campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank emos for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of cutting the American people. Without your sexy efforts, none of this would have been possible.


That was the only good part from mine lol
Quote by Trefellin
Anyone with half a brain knows that Jesus is way more metal than Satan. Lucifer was the worlds very first emo.


Quote by glowinghamster4'

i just want to let you know that made my day.



Quote by Weaponized
Solid state master race
#8
My fellow Americans, today is a crunchy day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "Potato", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fapping.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces milky and chewy challenges like never before. Our economy is brown. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for Peas. Our healthcare system is green. If your Spleem is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Prostitute. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Dildo Condom. But Flailing together we can right this ship, and set a course for The Sun.

Finally, I must thank my delicatley family, my wet campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank The Pit for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of ****ing the American people. Without your dark efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Quote by alaskan_ninja
Everyone is trying a comeback now. Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins, Rage, and now bin Laden? Come on. Give it a rest..


haha
#9
My fellow Americans, today is a penis day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "penis", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually penis.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces penis and pens challenges like never before. Our economy is penis. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for penis. Our healthcare system is penis. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a penis. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a penis penis. But penis together we can right this ship, and set a course for penis.

Finally, I must thank my penis family, my penis campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank penis for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of penis the American people. Without your penis efforts, none of this would have been possible.


#10
My fellow Americans, today is a pisspoor day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "rectum", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually sodomise.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces jew-y and hitlerian challenges like never before. Our economy is woody. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for penises. Our healthcare system is veiny. If your scotum is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a urologist. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a used vibrating butt-plug. But shagging together we can right this ship, and set a course for Uranus.

Finally, I must thank my stringy family, my awesome campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Neo Nazis for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of raping the American people. Without your aggressively efforts, none of this would have been possible.



I need a job in political speechwriting
#11
My fellow Americans, today is a change day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "change", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually change.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces change and change challenges like never before. Our economy is change. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for change. Our healthcare system is change. If your change is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Pimp. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a change change. But change together we can right this ship, and set a course for change.

Finally, I must thank my change family, my change campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank change for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of change the American people. Without your change efforts, none of this would have been possible.
#12
My fellow Americans, today is a totally pimpin' day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "a fat wad", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually like... change.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces big and small challenges like never before. Our economy is funkelicious. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for cocaine. Our healthcare system is cheesy. If your pimpslapping hand is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a pimp. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a tarnished thing that's been... tarnished pretty bad... like it was good for a while, but now it's gotten worn over the years.. But pimping together we can right this ship, and set a course for the bronx.

Finally, I must thank my kickin' family, my hatin' campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank crackers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of pimpin' the American people. Without your retarded efforts, none of this would have been possible.


meh
#13
My fellow Americans, today is a stupid day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "****", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually Poop.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces Nice and Sexy challenges like never before. Our economy is Hot. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for dogs. Our healthcare system is smelly. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a PornStar. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Dildo Vibrator. But ****ing together we can right this ship, and set a course for My ass.

Finally, I must thank my Hairy family, my Gluey campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank morons for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of pooping the American people. Without your grosse efforts, none of this would have been possible.
#14
My fellow Americans, today is a trollish day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "trolldom", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually troll.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces trollish and trollling challenges like never before. Our economy is trolling. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for trolling. Our healthcare system is trollish. If your troll is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a troll. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a trolling troll. But trolling together we can right this ship, and set a course for trolldom.

Finally, I must thank my troll family, my troll campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the trolls for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of trolling the American people. Without your trolling efforts, none of this would have been possible.

lol @ bush part
#15
I think his actual speech will be much longer, this man is a great speaker and has had a few months to write and practice this one.
#16
My fellow Americans, today is a black day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "watermelon", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually stealing.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces horny and black challenges like never before. Our economy is very black. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for CHIKKENZ. Our healthcare system is fried. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a crack *****. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a grape drink hooker. But masturbating together we can right this ship, and set a course for funky town.

Finally, I must thank my gay family, my penis campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank pimps for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of ****ing the American people. Without your sexual efforts, none of this would have been possible.
#17
My fellow Americans, today is a dyslexic day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "cat", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually destroy. Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces buff and tasty challenges like never before. Our economy is nom. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for cakes. Our healthcare system is tall. If your nose is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Wrestler. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a ninja star SCUD missile. But failing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Russia. Finally, I must thank my smelly family, my asian campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the Jews for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of eating the American people. Without your disoriented efforts, none of this would have been possible.


It has some good parts.
Are You a PROG-HEAD? I am.

Quote by Minkaro
Schizophrenia rap?

*beatboxes*

I have schizophrenia, I talk to myself,
People startin' to doubt my mental health,
Maybe someday I'll get the help I need,
But till then don't be blamin' mah weed.

*scratches*
#18
My fellow Americans, today is a premature day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "semen", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fap.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces drawn-out and penile challenges like never before. Our economy is anal. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for holes. Our healthcare system is thick. If your wang is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a erectile dysfuction clinic owner. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a fleshlight bottle of water-based lubricant. But spanking together we can right this ship, and set a course for my bedroom.

Finally, I must thank my quick family, my embarrasing campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the advanced medical institute for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of stroking the American people. Without your faulty efforts, none of this would have been possible.
I'm here to help

Quote by Jimbleton
ok, as usual pit is being very unhelpful except andychalmers, so im gonna go post this someplace else


And a master of storytelling...

Quote by Jackolas
andychalmers102, that story is awesome.
#19
I made a hilarious but racist one

can I still post it (contains the n-word)?
Quote by Carmel
You are a redeeming feature for the UG Swedish population.


All-riiight.
#20
My fellow Americans, today is a faggot day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "douchebag", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fap.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces retarded and ***** challenges like never before. Our economy is loser. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for mudkips. Our healthcare system is cute. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a prostitute. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a guitar tits. But ****ing together we can right this ship, and set a course for ug.

Finally, I must thank my hot family, my horny campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank gays for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of skrewing the American people. Without your lolwut efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Quote by smb
Freakish mammals bring the end times. It's not even 2012 yet and we're all on the path to extinction. Send cash now to God-TV!
#22
My fellow Americans, today is a ugly day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "building", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually bring.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces beautifull and large challenges like never before. Our economy is small. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for WTF!!. Our healthcare system is loud. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a plumber. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a barbwire dog****. But rocking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Illinois.

Finally, I must thank my noisy family, my late campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the KKK for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of farting the American people. Without your fancy efforts, none of this would have been possible.
#23
My fellow Americans, today is a Obamalicious day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "Barack", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually Obama'd.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces Baracky and Obama-y challenges like never before. Our economy is Baracky. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for Barack Obamas. Our healthcare system is Barackalicious. If your ears is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a president. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a me me. But Obamaing together we can right this ship, and set a course for White House.

Finally, I must thank my Obamalicious family, my Obamaful campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Obamas for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of Baracking the American people. Without your Barobackaming efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#24
My fellow Americans, today is a delicious day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "potato", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually eating.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces orgasmic and furious challenges like never before. Our economy is questionable. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for potatoes. Our healthcare system is insane. If your breasts is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Potato Breeder. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a potato potato. But squashing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Birmingham.

Finally, I must thank my silly family, my wet campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Potato Farmers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of crushing the American people. Without your amazing efforts, none of this would have been possible.
#25
I thought it was funny.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a blackened day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "house", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually rape.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces red and blue challenges like never before. Our economy is green. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for lands. Our healthcare system is death. If your **** is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a rapist. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a douche condom. But ****ing together we can right this ship, and set a course for canada.

Finally, I must thank my blood family, my red campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank jesus for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of raping the American people. Without your efforts, none of this would have been possible.
#26
My fellow Americans, today is a gay day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "fag", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually rape.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces poppy and elitist challenges like never before. Our economy is retarded. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for fappers. Our healthcare system is FTW. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Pit Monkey. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a guitar guitar. But fapping together we can right this ship, and set a course for The Pit.

Finally, I must thank my heavy family, my awesome campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank A7X for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of shredding the American people. Without your gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Quote by guitar-godfrey
when i grow up i wanna have blackandsilver's babies!

Quote by angusfan16

Quote by Scowmoo
..
HOLY HELL.

nice discovery, sir.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by coryklok : Today at 01:10 PM.
#27
My fellow Americans, today is a black day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "whale dick", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually teabagging.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces butt****ed and fingered challenges like never before. Our economy is raped. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for ******s. Our healthcare system is face****ed. If your asshole is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a gay prostitute. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a ****** cat intesties. But ****ing together we can right this ship, and set a course for ******ville.

Finally, I must thank my assblasted family, my buttfingered campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank ******s for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of teabagging the American people. Without your assjuiced efforts, none of this would have been possible.
#28
My fellow Americans, today is a ****ing day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "n*gger", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually f*ck

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces ****ing and ****ing challenges like never before. Our economy is ****ing. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for n*****s. Our healthcare system is ****ing. If your n****r lips is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a n****r. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a f****g n****r. But ****ing together we can right this ship, and set a course for n*****ville.

Finally, I must thank my ****ing family, my ****ing campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank n*****s for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of ****ing the American people. Without your ****ing efforts, none of this would have been possible.

I only used the word f*ck and n*gger
I don't want to be racist but this is just f*cking hilarious
Quote by Sir-Shoelace
manliest string guage? barbed wire.

Founder Of the UG Slide Player's Guild, PM me If You're Really Feelin' Dem Blues

THE PIT
"better than your average psychiatrist"
Last edited by shredmeiser101 at Jan 18, 2009,
#29
Quote by shredmeiser101

I only used the word f*ck and n*gger
I don't want to be racist but this is just f*cking hilarious

No it isn't.
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#30
My fellow Americans, today is a Black day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "Hamster", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually scubadiving.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces black and black challenges like never before. Our economy is black. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for womens. Our healthcare system is black. If your arms is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a plumber. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a paper plane George Bush. But mother****ing together we can right this ship, and set a course for White House.

Finally, I must thank my black family, my black campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Asians for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of mother****ing the American people. Without your black efforts, none of this would have been possible.


It kind of sucks but i found the last paragraph hilarious
#32
A few quotes, eh.

'Our economy is chilling out nice. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for schools. Our healthcare system is relaxing all cool.'

'Finally, I must thank my playing some b ball outside of the school family, my up to no good campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank couple of guys for making this historic occasion possible'

'I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of living the American people. Without your flipped efforts, none of this would have been possible.'
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#33
Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a stupid ass day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "your face", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually get high.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces insane and retarded challenges like never before. Our economy is your mom. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for AHHHHH!!!!!. Our healthcare system is retard. If your fapping hand is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a professional dickweed. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a a llama why?. But how together we can right this ship, and set a course for the moon, moron!!!!.

Finally, I must thank my disgusting family, my queer campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank kiss my ass.... for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of !!!!!! the American people. Without your fagotted, moronic, and downright stupid efforts, none of this would have been possible.
#34
My fellow Americans, today is a gorey day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "cookie", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually jizz.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces horny and hot challenges like never before. Our economy is sticky. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for muffins. Our healthcare system is ****ty. If your vagina is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a boob inspector. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a potato cookie asshole. But ****ing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Kick-A-Poo.

Finally, I must thank my gay family, my lame campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Ku-Klux-Klan for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of masturbating the American people. Without your sexy efforts, none of this would have been possible.
#35
Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a whack day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "masturbation", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fap to.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces stupid and ****ed up challenges like never before. Our economy is the worst in the world. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for crack cocaine and midgets. Our healthcare system is ****ing stupid. If your ballbag is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a peadophile. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a tarnished ****. But wanking together we can right this ship, and set a course for the pub.

Finally, I must thank my illegitmate family, my ugly ass campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the Nazis for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of being a moron for the American people. Without your **** efforts, none of this would have been possible.



..... i tried

#36
My fellow Americans, today is a poppin' day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "house", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually run.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces rockin and bitchin challenges like never before. Our economy is destructive. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for prostitutes. Our healthcare system is hopefull. If your spleen is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a plumber. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a pot plant. But jumpin together we can right this ship, and set a course for playboy mansion.

Finally, I must thank my very family, my unlikely campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank peta for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of caring the American people. Without your wishful efforts, none of this would have been possible.


lol mine came out good
Quote by yo_peh
i love you!
have cookie

Quote by RocksAwakening5
^^^ So much win, omg.
#37
My fellow Americans, today is a ****ty day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "America", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually bomb.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces sticky and hot challenges like never before. Our economy is white. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for bricks. Our healthcare system is long. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a porn star. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a window society. But ****ing together we can right this ship, and set a course for my mother's basement.

Finally, I must thank my loud family, my not so loud campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the other guys from that bukake scene for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of ****ing the American people. Without your juicy efforts, none of this would have been possible.
BRIAN. SCHNEIDER.
#38


My fellow Americans, today is a Black day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "black", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually black.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces black and black challenges like never before. Our economy is black. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for black. Our healthcare system is black. If your black is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a black. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a black black. But black together we can right this ship, and set a course for black.

Finally, I must thank my black family, my black campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank black for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of black the American people. Without your black efforts, none of this would have been possible.


__.-~~~~-.|___|___|__
_/********\_|___|___|
|*/**\**/**`~~~~~-.__
||****|**0*********@_
||****|***.********|_
\|****|***\*******/__
_\****/**/`~~~~~~`|__
_('--'""`)__|___|___|
Quote by Jesus
LedDaveZeppelin, You are so awesome.
Last edited by LedDaveZeppelin at Jan 18, 2009,
#39
My fellow Americans, today is a epic day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "fish", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually nom.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces hawt and win challenges like never before. Our economy is cool. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for cats. Our healthcare system is ugly. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a pitmonkey. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a mudkip raptor jesus. But rick rolling together we can right this ship, and set a course for white house.

Finally, I must thank my sexy family, my cheesy campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the horde for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of tanking the American people. Without your black efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Quote by Survivalism
The Dual Rectifier is my sexy finishing move.


Quote by Survivalism
Nobody knows the words to Evenflow, they all just go "bramamamamamamamamaamamamabooowwllofcornflakes"
#40
My fellow Americans, today is a hard day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "penis", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fap.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces big and thick challenges like never before. Our economy is juicy. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for dicks. Our healthcare system is throbbing. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a inseminator. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a **** vagina. But ****ing together we can right this ship, and set a course for bangkok.

Finally, I must thank my steaming family, my flacid campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank gangbangers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of ****ting on the American people. Without your manly efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Inappropriate win!
BRIAN. SCHNEIDER.
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