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#1
I'm scared. Really scared.

It looks like I might be heading to court (as a witness) as it looks like I might have been witness to a robbery in my area.

Anyone been before? What do I have to do?
#4
don't rat anyone out, they will try to or have you killed
Quote by Deliriumbassist
marmite, vegemite, termite...

anything that ends with -mite is the work of Satan's retarded cousin Vinnie.
#7
Tell an unrelated story about sexual tension/abuse as a child. OR wear something insane. Like a clown costume.


EDIT: Answer the questions directly. Only give what you need to. Don't bull ****. Be polite. It's a robbery, not a gang murder suicide. They won't come after you or anything. They were probably just assholes.
I love Foxy Shazam more than you.



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Last edited by OzarkMDaredevil at Jan 18, 2009,
#8
Don't worry - it will be fine. Just be polite and answer all the judges questions like you have been directed by your solicitor. Don't try to include unnecessary statements which are likely to confuse the jury. In court, don't be afraid of the judge - he or she may get angry at you if you don't answer the questions properly so you really have to be dead on.
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¸.•´¸.•´¨¸.•¤¨哭泣我不在這裡 我不在那裡請在嗶一聲之後留
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我不在這裡 我人在哪裡 我想到哪裡¤

請在嗶一聲之後留下有聲的話題¤

請在嗶一聲之後分擔感情的問題¤


¤¤¤

#9
What country are you in?

If it's the UK and you're that worried phone the court and ask for special measures, they'll put a screen up around the witness box and you should be able to enter and leave the court through a different entrance (in theory). Make shure you ask a while before the date though, because some magistrates courts will have to borrow the equipment and get extra staff in. If you're wondering how I know, I used to work in a magistrates court
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#12
Quote by SGPlayer08
Don't worry, they'll just relocate you and your family to the deep south.

FAMILY GUY FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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O_o
#13
Just swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help you god.
People are bastards. Bastardcoated bastards with bastardfilling.
#16
Dear Diary,

Today, I thought the Pit was you!
Quote by guitar-godfrey
when i grow up i wanna have blackandsilver's babies!

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..
HOLY HELL.

nice discovery, sir.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by coryklok : Today at 01:10 PM.
#17
Been there done that bought the tee shirt.

Its really not that bad. Answer the questions and keep your story straight and you will be fine. Cross examination isnt as bad as they make out on TV. The TV court things are so overly dramatised its not even funny. Dont worry. Keep calm, keep your answers as direct as possible. You will also get a chance to go over your statement before you go into court.

Good luck.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#18
"Son, what did you see on the night of the robbery?"

"I see alot of things."
Firefly > You

Trumpet Alliance
#19
Quote by 4 strings
these arent really helpful answers are they?


Harmonius made a great answer. ;p
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
#20
you guys have no good advice. but I was witness to a robbery of a cell phone and a digital camera. I didn;t go to court, but he did. I should have had to go, but i didn't have to, idk why
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#22
Not going to lie, this is Uk magistrates though. It was the most horrible thing i've done in my life. Keep answers as short and simple as possible don't give the defence anything they can use and twist against you. If you made a statement read it as well as you can and memorise it. Also try not to get angry and keep calm.
Last edited by barronobeefdip at Jan 18, 2009,
#23
It's a robbery, not a high profile murder case. I doubt anyone will be coming after because you testified against a run of the mill robber. No-one's going to throw acid over you. Although having Fassa "Two Face" Albrecht running around does kinda sound appealing.
#26
Quote by Deliriumbassist
It's a robbery, not a high profile murder case. I doubt anyone will be coming after because you testified against a run of the mill robber. No-one's going to throw acid over you. Although having Fassa "Two Face" Albrecht running around does kinda sound appealing.



#27
Quote by fretsofthebeast
FAMILY GUY FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was going more along the lines of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but Family Guy works too..
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#28
What do you need to do? Easy. To every question, answer:

"I SAW GOODY PROCTOR WITH THE DEVIL!!1!"


And get it on film so I can watch.
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that is one goddamn shiny mother****ing toaster you have there
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It seems the top of those waffles are burnt.
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The toast has little red arrows growing from it. Nobody wants that.

SHUDDUP AND EAT YER TOAST
#29
Quote by gdriz
bel air them.
it'll be EPIC


This is genius. Screw all that sensible **** I said. Do this. I will write your testimony for you if you do this.
I love Foxy Shazam more than you.



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#31
Fassa... Stealing is bad.

Thou shalt not steal... Remember that before you turned your back on us

>_>

<_<

As soon as you became an atheist you started stealing things and robbing old ladies

tut tut.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#33
Quote by Guitardude19
Fassa... Stealing is bad.

Thou shalt not steal... Remember that before you turned your back on us

>_>

<_<


Hey! I wasn't the one stealing...!
#34
Quote by BlackandSilver
Dear Diary,

Today, I thought the Pit was you!

WIN!!!
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#35
Quote by ToastYerLicks
What do you need to do? Easy. To every question, answer:

"I SAW GOODY PROCTOR WITH THE DEVIL!!1!"


And get it on film so I can watch.



OMG I'm laughing so hard right now, I'm like choking.
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#36
Quote by ToastYerLicks
What do you need to do? Easy. To every question, answer:

"I SAW GOODY PROCTOR WITH THE DEVIL!!1!"


And get it on film so I can watch.

Teh cruciblez
RULE BRITANNIA
#38
Dont go.Simple.

Otherwise,bake gingerbread man and offer them to the jury while prancing around in a kilt without any pants on and humming I Cum Blood while providing lyrics.

Theyll prolly ask you politely to leave
________________________________

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#39
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
You lot are helpful...not.


Has the Pit ever been helpful unless it involves circle jerks or cheating a bunk bed contest?
I love Foxy Shazam more than you.



▲ ▲

#40
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
Hey! I wasn't the one stealing...!


Aye sure...

I believe you


Nah but read what Harmy said. You ll be fine. Dont worry!

Thief
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
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