#1
My apologies to ZanasCross, and the rest of the forum. I should have read the rules first, but in my defence, this is the first time in a while that I've ventured out of the Metal Forum . I trust that this title is slightly more appropriate, and, of course, I will gladly crit other peoples' pieces. Thanks in advance, here it is:

Forward thinking downward motion
Shatter through blind devotion
Riding high, wearing thin
In a place I've never been

Angry lover, Loving hater
Give in now? Mayber later
Going places, places afar
Up again, to the bar!

Shoot my mouth off, shoot to kill
12 guage shooters fit the bill.
Clench my stomach, hug the toilet
From my gullet I'm now embroided

"Don't be late", my wallet cries
"You're a dick", my liver dies
"No it's not", my nuts contest
20 minutes late, still not dressed

Nicotine bullet, straight to the lung,
The over-the-counter, less efficient gun.
Caffeine junkie, proudly stands tall
Thank heavens for the drug that starts it all

Downward motion from a forward thought
It's only a fuck up if I'm caught.
Burning in hell might not suck so much
If I knew religion was never my crutch.

Don't look now, it's the girl I like.
She won't look here, definitely dyke.
Ask hew out? Maybe later...
Give it a shot, maybe date her!

If I should so choose not to choose, could I ever live up to the choice I made?
Maybe I fucked up, made a big mistake,
but I doubt it really matters to the ground in which I'm laid.
#3
Hmmmm well its a very well crafted song imo. I'll agree with the person above me and say I'm not too much of a fan for lyrics with language anymore, but its very poetic.

8.5/10

C4C?