Page 1 of 2
#1
http://prillalar.com/drabbles/

Meths and SYK were out for a slutty Valentine's walk on the floor. As they went, SYK rested his hand on Meths's nostril. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so Passionate, Meths was filled with fantastic dread.

"Do you suppose it's Gay here?" he asked quickly.

"You Fast silly," SYK said, tickling Meths with his cancer. "It's completely orange."

Just then, a gentle Sheep leapt out from behind a whip and shagged SYK in the bum. "Aaargh!" SYK screamed.

Things looked Hard. But Meths, although he was Long, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a spoon and, like a snowman with a bukkake fetish, beat the Sheep drunkenly until it ran off. "That will teach you to shag innocent people."

Then he clasped SYK close. SYK was bleeding gently. "My darling," Meths said, and pressed his lips to SYK's penis.

"I love you," SYK said passionately, and expired in Meths's arms.

Meths never loved again.


here's an example
#2
Quote by Draken
Just then, a gentle sheep leapt out from behind a whip and shaged SYK in the bum


Quote by IDread
You know something is wrong when you have to utter the words "I have ganja in my eye" to your mother...


Quote by RIPKurt67-94
Aliens don't exist. I live on Mars, and I can assure you that there is no life here.



I hijacked this!
#3
Quote by Draken
http://prillalar.com/drabbles/

Meths and SYK were out for a slutty Valentine's walk on the floor. As they went, SYK rested his hand on Meths's nostril. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so Passionate, Meths was filled with fantastic dread.

"Do you suppose it's Gay here?" he asked quickly.

"You Fast silly," SYK said, tickling Meths with his cancer. "It's completely orange."

Just then, a gentle Sheep leapt out from behind a whip and shagged SYK in the bum. "Aaargh!" SYK screamed.

Things looked Hard. But Meths, although he was Long, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a spoon and, like a snowman with a bukkake fetish, beat the Sheep drunkenly until it ran off. "That will teach you to shag innocent people."

Then he clasped SYK close. SYK was bleeding gently. "My darling," Meths said, and pressed his lips to SYK's penis.

"I love you," SYK said passionately, and expired in Meths's arms.

Meths never loved again.


here's an example



KLH & KGB
11/28/09
Last edited by KGB_INC at Jan 19, 2009,
#7


Awesome.
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#8
Quote by Draken
Meths never loved again.


I wasn't aware Jack was capable of it in the first place

A Even Shinier Occurrence

The Brave And Honorable Lord Robinson Of High Juice paced up and down, jiggling his Foot. His very good friend, Mary Sue Lamp, had arranged to meet him here in a barrel. "I have something Bigger to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Lamp was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, The Brave And Honorable Lord Robinson Of High Juice expected to see her bounce up, her Shiny hair streaming behind her and her Even Bigger eyes aglow.

The Brave And Honorable Lord Robinson Of High Juice heard footsteps, but they seemed rather Shiniest for a delicate and Shinier girl like Mary Sue Lamp, whose tread was Biggest. He turned around and found Her from Emmerdale staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Her from Emmerdale said Displeasedingly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

The Brave And Honorable Lord Robinson Of High Juice had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so Not happily. "Mary Sue Lamp asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Her from Emmerdale, his Kneecap began to throb Angrily.

"Oh," Her from Emmerdale said, Furiously. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," The Brave And Honorable Lord Robinson Of High Juice said and caught Her from Emmerdale by her Cranium. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Her from Emmerdale said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a thing that does other things to something..

From behind a Clock, Mary Sue Lamp watched with a Big and Shiny light in her Big eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "The Brave And Honorable Lord Robinson Of High Juice/Her from Emmerdale". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the Mink from extinction.

Beautiful!
#9
metaldud hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a dog in heat. He loathed it.

Every December, metaldud would feel himself getting all Interesting inside. He refused to put up a Christmas house, he snapped at anyone Disgusting enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, metaldud had to go to the mall to buy a Explosive car. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing furiously around and so much Christmas music blaring insterestingly, he thought his ear would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a Cute woman collecting for charity. metaldud never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the Cute woman dropped his bells and ran on the kitchen. There was a Smart squirtle right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the Cute woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

metaldud rushed out and turtling pushed them both out of the way. There was a Beautiful bang and then everything went dark.

When metaldud woke up, he was in a Horny room. There was a Christmas house in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, metaldud's penis hurt. A lot.

The Cute woman came into the room. "I'm so Sexy!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Jennifer Connelly. You saved me from the truck. But your penis is broken."

metaldud hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas house up and his penis was broken, he felt quite Sad, especially when he looked at Jennifer Connelly.

"Your penis must hurt quickly," Jennifer Connelly said. "I think this will help." And she thrusted metaldud several times.

Now metaldud felt very Sad indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Jennifer Connelly. "I love you," he said, and kissed Jennifer Connelly sexily.

"I love you too," said Jennifer Connelly. Just then, the squirtle ran into the room and nuzzled metaldud's vagina. "I brought him home with us," Jennifer Connelly said.

"We'll call him Miracle," metaldud said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.


...I don't have a vagina...
Last edited by metaldud536 at Jan 19, 2009,
#10
Jenna and Jimmy
by William Shakespeare

Enter Jenna

Jimmy appears above at a window

Jenna:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the spongebob, and Jimmy is the horse.
Arise, nice horse, and **** the beautiful table.
See, how he leans his penis upon his balls!
O, that I were a glove upon that balls,
That I might touch that penis!

Jimmy:
O Jenna, Jenna! wherefore art thou Jenna?
What's in a name? That which we call a vagina
By any other name would smell as shy
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like a horny jackrabbit in mating season"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove wonderful.

Jenna:
Swain, by yonder beautiful table I swear
That tips behind a fence the joyful hose--

Jimmy:
O, swear not by the table, the preppy table,
That quickly changes in its naughty orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise naughty.
Sweet, deep night! A thousand times deep night!
Parting is such uncompromising sorrow,
That I shall say deep night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Jenna:
Sleep dwell upon thy penis, peace in thy balls!
Would I were sleep and peace, so wonderfully to rest!
highly will I to my nice vagina's cell,
Its help to ****, and my shy vagina to tell.

this is great stuff
#11
oh haha wow I can't post this one... or I'll get banned...
Quote by IDread
You know something is wrong when you have to utter the words "I have ganja in my eye" to your mother...


Quote by RIPKurt67-94
Aliens don't exist. I live on Mars, and I can assure you that there is no life here.



I hijacked this!
#12
poop and poop
by William Shakespeare

Enter poop

poop appears above at a window

poop:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the poop, and poop is the poop.
Arise, poop poop, and poop the poop v.
See, how she leans her poop upon her poop!
O, that I were a glove upon that poop,
That I might touch that poop!

poop:
O poop, poop! wherefore art thou poop?
What's in a name? That which we call a poop
By any other name would smell as poop
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "poop"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove poop.

poop:
Lady, by yonder poop v I swear
That tips poop the poop poop--

poop:
O, swear not by the v, the shiney v,
That poop changes in its poop orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise poop.
Sweet, poop night! A thousand times poop night!
Parting is such roughly sorrow,
That I shall say poop night till it be morrow.

Exit above

poop:
Sleep dwell upon thy poop, peace in thy poop!
Would I were sleep and peace, so poop to rest!
poop will I to my poop poop's cell,
Its help to poop, and my poop poop to tell


Because I'm mature
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
#13
Beautiful Lang Syne

Bob sipped In a desiring way at his drink and stood Beautiful behind a Lotion. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel Wanting and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how Sweet his Back got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Bob knew very well why he was at the party: to see Pear.

Ah, Pear. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her Wonderful Penis made Bob's heart beat Like a fruit in a basket.

But tonight everyone was masked. Bob peered moany through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Pear. There, he thought, the woman over by the Bossom, the Huge one with the Horse mask. It had to be Pear. No one else could look so Soft, even in a Horse mask.

She began to walk Bob's way and Bob started to panic. What if she actually talked to Bob?

Pear came right up to Bob and Bob thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Pear said quickly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the Love Juice," Bob said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so Lovely.

Just then, a Slutty voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Bob's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Pear might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Pear swept Bob into her arms, bent him in the closet, and kissed Bob Rapidly, slipping him the tongue and groping his Thigh.

Bob could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out Slowly and pulled Pear's mask off her face. It was Pear! "I knew it was you," Bob said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Pear said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Bob watched her go. She would be right back, Bob was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.
Quote by Brunnis Jetrel, Eve-Search Forums
oh the good old days of launching strawberries at point blank range into people's faces with a ballista... brings back mammaries

Quote by SkyValley
Kick your OWN ass before he has a chance to get to it.

Clicky --->
#14
Here's another one, Mick and Carmelita are me and my girl:

I Saw Carmelita Kissing Santa Claus

Mick woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one weird box that looked like a smile.

Then Mick noticed that Carmelita was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Mick thought that he would surprise Carmelita. Maybe even sneak up behind her and punch her in her amazing eyes. That always made Carmelita sweet.

Mick crept creepily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its awesome lights, and the presents, heaped up ninjalishly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Carmelita. Kissing someone.

Mick was so angry, he picked up a dock from a table and threw it quickly, staring in her eyes.

They both looked around.

"Carmelita, you blue zebra!" Mick yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Mick looked and then rubbed his hand and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Carmelita said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a beautiful kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Mick said drunkedly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be aluring."

That seemed reasonable. Mick went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like love at first sight. He made Mick's lips feel all groovly.

"You see?" Carmelita said quietly and Mick saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.


Quote by IDread
You know something is wrong when you have to utter the words "I have ganja in my eye" to your mother...


Quote by RIPKurt67-94
Aliens don't exist. I live on Mars, and I can assure you that there is no life here.



I hijacked this!
#15
I'm Dreaming Of A Gargantuan Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. imdeth sat hardly on a penis, sipping huge eggnog.

He looked at the large spear hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, metaldud had hung it there, just before they looked at each other sharply and then fell into each other's arms and humped each other's testicle.

If only I hadn't been so grotesque, imdeth thought, pouring a heavy amount of rum into his eggnog. Then metaldud might not have got so thick and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a slimy tear and held his thigh in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a hairy voice lifted fastly up in song.


I'm dreaming of a gargantuan Christmas

Just like a vicar that feeds the young on his sperm


imdeth ran to the door. It was metaldud, looking long all over with snow.

"I missed you slowly," metaldud said. "And I wanted to rape your testicle again."

imdeth hugged metaldud and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," metaldud said.

"I think so too," imdeth said and they humped each other's testicle until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted goat anus and lived quickly until imdeth got drunk again.


That is my dream
#16
A Penis Occurrence

Penis paced up and down, jiggling his penis. His very good friend, Mary Sue Penis, had arranged to meet him here penis. "I have something penis to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Penis was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Penis expected to see her bounce up, her penis hair streaming behind her and her penis eyes aglow.

Penis heard footsteps, but they seemed rather penis for a delicate and penis girl like Mary Sue Penis, whose tread was penis. He turned around and found Penis staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Penis said penis. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Penis had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so penis. "Mary Sue Penis asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Penis, his penis began to throb penis.

"Oh," Penis said, penis. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Penis said and caught Penis by her penis. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Penis said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a penis that casts a happy glow o'er all the land..

From behind a penis, Mary Sue Penis watched with a penis light in her penis eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Penis/Penis". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the penis from extinction.
Quote by denfilade
For a moment I thought velcro shoes were ones with the whole bottom made of velcro

She could walk up your pubes with those

Quote by kannon
this post has aids
Quote by NinjaSlayHuman
and 07'ers will always be well-respected members of UG society.
#18
hahaha nice one imdeth
Quote by IDread
You know something is wrong when you have to utter the words "I have ganja in my eye" to your mother...


Quote by RIPKurt67-94
Aliens don't exist. I live on Mars, and I can assure you that there is no life here.



I hijacked this!
#19
Nonsensical, but with a few gut-bustingly good parts:

I Saw Mary Magdeleine Kissing Santa Claus

Jesus woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one Deceptive box that looked like a Rock.

Then Jesus noticed that Mary Magdeleine was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Jesus thought that he would surprise Mary Magdeleine. Maybe even sneak up behind her and Crucify her on her Crazy Foot. That always made Mary Magdeleine Powerful.

Jesus crept Immaturely down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its Jewish lights, and the presents, heaped up Superbly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Mary Magdeleine. Kissing someone.

Jesus was so angry, he picked up a Nail from a table and threw it Torturously in a cave.

They both looked around.

"Mary Magdeleine, you Resurrected Sheep!" Jesus yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Jesus looked and then rubbed his Head and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Mary Magdeleine said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a Miraculous kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Jesus said Quickly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be Dead."

That seemed reasonable. Jesus went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, Like a chameleon in a tree. He made Jesus's Wrist feel all Divine.

"You see?" Mary Magdeleine said Studiously and Jesus saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.

The Sheep Princess

Jesus was walking through a Resurrected meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a Miraculous little Sheep lying under a tree.

Jesus skipped over to see the dear thing and was Crazy to find that she was hurt! A Nail had pierced her Divine little Head and she whimpered Torturously with the pain.

"My Deceptive little friend," Jesus said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the Nail, as Immaturely as he could. The Sheep cried out and Jesus's heart ached, Like a chameleon in a tree. "You'll be all right," Jesus whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Mary Magdeleine and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Mary Magdeleine up in his arms, Jesus carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Jesus nursed Mary Magdeleine, cleaning her Head and feeding her Cross-brand Sheep chow.

On the eighth night, Mary Magdeleine climbed into bed with Jesus. She burrowed under the covers and Studiously Crucified Jesus's Wrist. It made Jesus giggle and he cuddled close to Mary Magdeleine, stroking her Foot and singing Superbly to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Jesus hurried home so he could curl up with Mary Magdeleine. It gave him a Attractive feeling whenever Mary Magdeleine Crucified his Wrist.

Then one night, Mary Magdeleine looked up at Jesus and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a Dead princess."

Jesus screamed Quickly, he was so surprised. How could a Sheep talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Mary Magdeleine said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Jesus said and kissed Mary Magdeleine on her Foot. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a Dead princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Mary Magdeleine," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Jesus said.

"See?" Mary Magdeleine said and showed Jesus the scar from the Nail on her Head. Then she kissed Jesus and they tumbled in a cave and did a lot of very Powerful things, some of them involving a Jewish Rock.

"I love you," Mary Magdeleine said when they were done. Jesus clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Mary Magdeleine had stashed away.

And if Mary Magdeleine didn't know about Jesus's visits to the Sheep sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.

I like these
#20
Bummed Lang Syne

skierinanutshel sipped belligerently at his drink and stood bummed behind a hatchet. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel happy and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how dank his ear got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, skierinanutshel knew very well why he was at the party: to see Frenchy.

Ah, Frenchy. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his delighted eye socket made skierinanutshel's heart beat like a loose cannon that set the congressional house ablaze..

But tonight everyone was masked. skierinanutshel peered sheepishly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Frenchy. There, he thought, the man over by the hat, the enthused one with the eel mask. It had to be Frenchy. No one else could look so ecstatic, even in an eel mask.

He began to walk skierinanutshel's way and skierinanutshel started to panic. What if he actually talked to skierinanutshel?

Frenchy came right up to skierinanutshel and skierinanutshel thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Frenchy said vivaciously. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the paddle," skierinanutshel said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so dark.

Just then, an opaque voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

skierinanutshel's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Frenchy might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Frenchy swept skierinanutshel into his arms, bent him behind a church, and kissed skierinanutshel runny, slipping him the tongue and groping his butt.

skierinanutshel could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out lazily and pulled Frenchy's mask off his face. It was Frenchy! "I knew it was you," skierinanutshel said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Frenchy said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

skierinanutshel watched him go. He would be right back, skierinanutshel was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.


#21
A Penis Day To Penis

Penis stepped penis out into the penis sunshine, and admired Penis's penis. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a penis sight."

Penis climbed off the penis and walked penis across the grass to greet his lover. Penis patted Penis on the penis and then tried to penis him penis, but without success.

"That's all right," Penis said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not penis," Penis. "Not as penis as the time we penis penis."

Penis nodded penis. "We were penis back in those days."

"Our peniss were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Penis said. "Everything seems penis and penis when you're young."

"Of course," Penis said. "But now we're penis, we can still have fun. If we go about it penis."

"Penis?" Penis said . "But how?"

"With this," Penis said and held out a penis penis. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to penis."

Penis swallowed the penis at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to penis penis. They penis penis. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.


I put penis in all of em...
Quote by IDread
You know something is wrong when you have to utter the words "I have ganja in my eye" to your mother...


Quote by RIPKurt67-94
Aliens don't exist. I live on Mars, and I can assure you that there is no life here.



I hijacked this!
#22
"A Fun Occurrence

Fassa Albrecht paced up and down, jiggling her stomach. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Dog, had arranged to meet her here on the cross. "I have something gaping to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Dog was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Fassa Albrecht expected to see her bounce up, her gaping hair streaming behind her and her sopping wet eyes aglow.

Fassa Albrecht heard footsteps, but they seemed rather incredible for a delicate and oral girl like Mary Sue Dog, whose tread was monstrous. She turned around and found Jesus staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" Jesus said quickly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Fassa Albrecht had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so orally. "Mary Sue Dog asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Jesus, her penis began to throb sexually.

"Oh," Jesus said, creatively. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Fassa Albrecht said and caught Jesus by his scrotum. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Jesus said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a tiger, a very sexual, masculine tiger.

From behind a sexual healing, Mary Sue Dog watched with a collosal light in her anal eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Fassa Albrecht/Jesus". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the monkey from extinction."

I think it could've been better with a different form.
Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.


Parker Nitefly Mojo sonnn
Jackson DK2M Dinky
Carvin Legacy
Fender Blues Jr.
Roland Cube 30X
Last edited by Sonicxlover at Jan 19, 2009,
#23
imdeth woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one gay box that looked like a UG.

Then imdeth noticed that RevaM1ssP1ss was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

imdeth thought that he would surprise RevaM1ssP1ss. Maybe even sneak up behind her and rape her on her skid marked boobs. That always made RevaM1ssP1ss chavvy.

imdeth crept erotically down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its fannystained lights, and the presents, heaped up retardedly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and RevaM1ssP1ss. Kissing someone.

imdeth was so angry, he picked up a Carmel_l from a table and threw it homoerotically in the Pit.

They both looked around.

"RevaM1ssP1ss, you emo Pit Monkey!" imdeth yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." imdeth looked and then rubbed his penis and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," RevaM1ssP1ss said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a mainstream kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," imdeth said in a faggotlike way. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be retarded."

That seemed reasonable. imdeth went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a g string broken while fingering a minor. He made imdeth's vagina feel all sold out.

"You see?" RevaM1ssP1ss said pastionately and imdeth saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.
Quote by guitar-godfrey
when i grow up i wanna have blackandsilver's babies!

Quote by angusfan16

Quote by Scowmoo
..
HOLY HELL.

nice discovery, sir.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by coryklok : Today at 01:10 PM.
#24
I'm so mature...


A Wide Day To f*ck

Bert stepped lovingly out into the large sunshine, and admired Ernie's ear lobe. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a big sight."

Ernie climbed off the penis and walked erotically across the grass to greet his lover. Bert patted Ernie on the penis and then tried to f*ck him sexually, but without success.

"That's all right," Ernie said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not fat," Bert. "Not as fat as the time we f*cked on a bed."

Ernie nodded skillfully. "We were juicy back in those days."

"Our bums were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Bert said. "Everything seems long and sweaty when you're young."

"Of course," Ernie said. "But now we're stiff, we can still have fun. If we go about it nervously."

"Nervously?" Bert said . "But how?"

"With this," Ernie said and held out a hard dildo. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to f*ck."

Bert swallowed the dildo at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to f*ck nervously. They f*cked like a well erect penis whos sperm spreads happiness over the face of society. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.


The Llama Prince

Bert was walking through a large meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a stiff little llama lying under a tree.

Bert skipped over to see the dear thing and was big to find that he was hurt! A penis had pierced his juicy little penis and he whimpered erotically with the pain.

"My sweaty little friend," Bert said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the penis, as nervously as he could. The llama cried out and Bert's heart ached, like a well erect penis whos sperm spreads happiness over the face of society. "You'll be all right," Bert whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Ernie and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Ernie up in his arms, Bert carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Bert nursed Ernie, cleaning his penis and feeding him Bum-brand llama chow.

On the eighth night, Ernie climbed into bed with Bert. He burrowed under the covers and skillfully f*cked Bert's ear lobe. It made Bert giggle and he cuddled close to Ernie, stroking his bum and singing lovingly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Bert hurried home so he could curl up with Ernie. It gave him a fat feeling whenever Ernie f*cked his ear lobe.

Then one night, Ernie looked up at Bert and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a hard prince."

Bert screamed sexually, he was so surprised. How could a llama talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Ernie said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Bert said and kissed Ernie on his bum. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a hard prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Ernie," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Bert said.

"See?" Ernie said and showed Bert the scar from the penis on his penis. Then he kissed Bert and they tumbled on a bed and did a lot of very long things, some of them involving a wide dildo.

"I love you," Ernie said when they were done. Bert clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Ernie had stashed away.

And if Ernie didn't know about Bert's visits to the llama sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
Last edited by crazykid3000 at Jan 19, 2009,
#25
Quote by crazykid3000
[Stories]


what's the picture?
Quote by IDread
You know something is wrong when you have to utter the words "I have ganja in my eye" to your mother...


Quote by RIPKurt67-94
Aliens don't exist. I live on Mars, and I can assure you that there is no life here.



I hijacked this!
#26
Quote by BlackandSilver

"You see?" RevaM1ssP1ss said pastionately and imdeth saw. So they had a threeway.


Threeway with Santa and Reva? FUCK YEAH!!
#27
On a slowing and seethrough morning, a giant penis sat in a hole. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His overies ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect a hairy vaginal orgasm to love someone with a viscosity ear?

Gargantuatly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like an omoomoo complex watermelon, all on a summer's day. I wish my a hairy vaginal orgasm would thrust me, in her own shaggy way..."

"Do you?" a hairy vaginal orgasm sat down beside a giant penis and put her hand on a giant penis's leg. "I think that could be arranged."

a giant penis gasped freefilly. "But what about my viscosity ear?"

"I like it," a hairy vaginal orgasm said hugily. "I think it's willy waddle."

They came together and their kiss was like a peneis that came on a pair of double d's.

"I love you," a giant penis said amazingly.

"I love you too," a hairy vaginal orgasm replied and pumped him.

They bought a cow, moved in together, and lived shiny ever after.
#28
The Battle For The Penis

In a fishbowl, Mick Jagger fucked his penis. He had been busy with the penis for hours and now wanted nothing more than a horrid cuddle or a terrible massage from his lover Keith Richards.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his sexy Keith Richards appeared at the door, grinning satanicly.

"Put down the penis," Keith Richards said ****ily. "Unless you want me to fuck that penis on your penis."

Mick Jagger put down the penis. He was cute. He had never seen Keith Richards so kinky before and it made him imaginary.

Keith Richards picked up the penis, then withdrew a meowth from his hair. "Don't be so cute," Keith Richards said with a kinky grimace. "A bear bit my vagina this morning, and everything became bleak. Now with this penis and this meowth I can shitily rule the world!"

Mick Jagger clutched his ****ty vagina huskily. This was his lover, his sexy Keith Richards, now staring at him with a kinky hair.

"Fight it!" Mick Jagger shouted. "The bear just wants the penis for his own sexy devices! He doesn't love you, not the horrid way I do!"

Mick Jagger could see Keith Richards trembling huskily. Mick Jagger reached out his penis and touched Keith Richards's hair ****ily. He was sexy, so sexy, but he knew only his ****ty love for Keith Richards would break the bear's spell.

Sure enough, Keith Richards dropped the penis with a thunk. "Oh, Mick Jagger," he squealed. "I'm so horrid, can you ever forgive me?"

But Mick Jagger had already moved in a fishbowl. Like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er the land, he pressed his penis into Keith Richards's hair. And as they fell together in a bleak fit of love, the penis lay on the floor, imaginary and forgotten.
I'm a MAN!
#29
Mine are never funny

Metaldud tripped along quietly. He was on his way to meet his lover, Kensai, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a Sea Lion hopping along, carrying a Computer in its mouth.

Metaldud was almost in a bed when he came across a stanky cake, lying alone on a drunk plate. "That must be a treat from my sexy bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked dotted, so he ate it.

It gave him the most ugly tingling sensation in his Vagina. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Kensai.

When Kensai came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Metaldud cried softly.

"Your Penis! And your Scrotum!" Kensai said. "They're wide! Can't you feel it?"

Metaldud felt his Penis and his Scrotum. They were indeed quite wide. "Oh, no!" Metaldud said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that stanky cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Kensai said. "I got you a Dildo. It must have been that blood-cumming man who lives nearby. He acts a little gently, ever since he ****ed a Television."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Metaldud sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Kensai said loudly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your Penis is really hopeful like that."

"Really?" Metaldud dried her tears. Metaldud kissed Kensai and it was an entirely noisy sensation, like a penis that never ends.

They spent the night having entirely noisy sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.
#30
I'm Dreaming Of A shitholed Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. George sat kickassidly In the cat's pajamas, sipping large eggnog.

He looked at the faggy mailbox hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Bob had hung it there, just before they looked at each other quickly and then fell into each other's arms and fucked each other's mouth.

If only I hadn't been so high, George thought, pouring a blue amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Bob might not have got so small and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a fake tear and held his leg in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a blue voice lifted sleazily up in song.


I'm dreaming of a shit holed Christmas

Just Like how when you squeeze a bottle of toothpaste and it feels like the entire thing is about to pop but then you open it and nothing still comes out.


George ran to the door. It was Bob, looking stoned all over with snow.

"I missed you lazily," Bob said. "And I wanted to shit your mouth again."

George hugged Bob and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Bob said.

"I think so too," George said and they fucked each other's mouth until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted Stegasaurus boob and lived silently until George got drunk again.

Last edited by FruscianteFan77 at Jan 19, 2009,
#32
The Battle For The Dildo

On the cross, Fassa Albrecht sucked her dildo. She had been busy with the dildo for hours and now wanted nothing more than an oral cuddle or a rhino-like massage from her lover Jesus.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her sopping wet Jesus appeared at the door, grinning fantastically.

"Put down the dildo," Jesus said sexually. "Unless you want me to suck that dildo on your scrotum."

Fassa Albrecht put down the dildo. She was colossal. She had never seen Jesus so clenched before and it made her manic.

Jesus picked up the dildo, then withdrew a sperm from his penis. "Don't be so colossal," Jesus said with a clenched grimace. "A dog bit my vagina this morning, and everything became gaping. Now with this dildo and this sperm I can sexually rule the world!"

Fassa Albrecht clutched her monstrous vagina anally. This was her lover, her sopping wet Jesus, now staring at her with a clenched penis.

"Fight it!" Fassa Albrecht shouted. "The dog just wants the dildo for his own sopping wet devices! He doesn't love you, not the oral way I do!"

Fassa Albrecht could see Jesus trembling anally. Fassa Albrecht reached out her scrotum and touched Jesus's penis sexually. She was sopping wet, so sopping wet, but she knew only her monstrous love for Jesus would break the dog's spell.

Sure enough, Jesus dropped the dildo with a thunk. "Oh, Fassa Albrecht," he squealed. "I'm so oral, can you ever forgive me?"

But Fassa Albrecht had already moved on the cross. Like wild monkeys, she pressed her scrotum into Jesus's penis. And as they fell together in a gaping fit of love, the dildo lay on the floor, manic and forgotten.
Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.


Parker Nitefly Mojo sonnn
Jackson DK2M Dinky
Carvin Legacy
Fender Blues Jr.
Roland Cube 30X
Last edited by Sonicxlover at Jan 19, 2009,
#33
The Bukkake Stranger

The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Vegeta strode along the path, making for Bukkake Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Bukkake Bukkake, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Face.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his bukkake bukkake just in time to face the bukkake man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The man struck bukkake, and Vegeta barely raised his bukkake to meet the attack. They fought long and bukkake until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Vegeta found himself forced to one knee, the man's bukkake pressed to his bukkake face. "I am Goku of Bukkake Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Bukkake Bukkake. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on his face."

But Vegeta had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his bukkake with a twist, overpowered Goku and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Vegeta said, looking down upon him.

Goku's face shimmered like a scoop of ice cream that I jizzed on.. "I have underestimated you, Vegeta. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Vegeta's desire was enflamed. His face throbbed and all his thoughts were to cum Goku like a face. Vegeta caressed Goku's bukkake face and he responded. They came together bukkake, and their joining was as bukkake as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet bukkake!" Vegeta groaned and came Goku as bukkake as he could.

"Ouch!" he yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Vegeta said. "That's where I put the Bukkake Bukkake for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed bukkake on the grass, forgetful of all but their bukkake love. "We will stay together forever," Goku said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Face never got the Bukkake Bukkake and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.
#34
To Heavily Kiss

Reva and Ghangis Khan were celebrating a nasty Valentine's Day together. Reva had cooked a puny dinner and they ate on a bench by candlelight.

"My darling," Ghangis Khan said, stroking Reva's eye, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Reva. "It is but a capricious token of my bloody love."

Reva opened the box. Inside was a filthy shovel! She gazed at it recklessly. Then she gazed at Ghangis Khan recklessly. "It's dashing," Reva said. "Come here and let me kiss you."

Just then, a heavy crone sprang out of hiding and cackled in a fashion much unlike a peacock's strut. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a cowardly voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Ghangis Khan read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my sister."

They stared at each other hungrily as the crone cackled some more. Reva's foot began to tremble. Then Ghangis Khan shrugged, pulled out an eggplant, and hit the crone on her nipple. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Reva said and kissed Ghangis Khan slowly. "This is a hellish Valentine's Day!"

They noisily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they kissed each other all night long.


I chose Reva because I'm sure she has a sense of humour.
Last edited by Trefellin at Jan 19, 2009,
#35
1000 Ethiopian Ducklings

Sir Penny Worth paced sexily back and forth. Smelly dread filled his heart. Climitia should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my hairy love, Sir Penny Worth thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Climitia had been taken hostage by Retarded Butt, a supervillain who had the city in a state of curvy terror. Sir Penny Worth fainted dead away, like a pile of fish that's been in the sun to long that's also inside a whale.

When he came to, there was a bump on his Penis and the smelly dread had returned. "Climitia, my sweaty honey bunny," he cried out deliciously. "What is Retarded Butt doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing spankingly as he ****ed him in the Heel.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Sir Penny Worth remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 Ethiopian Ducklings, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Sir Penny Worth ordered in a supply of Ethiopian and set to work, folding Ducklings until his Penis was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last Duckling when Climitia walked in the front door.

"Climitia!" Sir Penny Worth screamed and threw himself into Climitia's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 Ethiopian Ducklings and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing On a pile of flaming garbage. He kissed Climitia homo-erotically on the Heel.

"Actually," Climitia said, pulling away ferverishly, "I was rescued by the Sexy Josh Holmes. He's a new superhero in town." Climitia sighed. "And he's really ugly."

The smelly dread came back. "But you're juicy to be back here with me, right?"

Climitia checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Sexy Josh Holmes for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay shiny, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.

Sir Penny Worth choked back a sob and started folding another Duckling. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
Feed your mind.
#36
Can someone please get Fassa Albrecht to come to this thread?
Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.


Parker Nitefly Mojo sonnn
Jackson DK2M Dinky
Carvin Legacy
Fender Blues Jr.
Roland Cube 30X
Last edited by Sonicxlover at Jan 19, 2009,
#37
Anemic Lang Syne

Sergio sipped vertically at his drink and stood anemic behind a robot. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel sarcastic and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how ignited his leg got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Sergio knew very well why he was at the party: to see Anne.

Ah, Anne. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her arctic back made Sergio's heart beat like a well done steak being consumed by an old, hairy cactus.

But tonight everyone was masked. Sergio peered restlessly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Anne. There, he thought, the woman over by the cake, the introverted one with the mudkip mask. It had to be Anne. No one else could look so kaleidoscopic, even in a mudkip mask.

She began to walk Sergio's way and Sergio started to panic. What if she actually talked to Sergio?

Anne came right up to Sergio and Sergio thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Anne said adverbially. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the bus," Sergio said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so aloof.

Just then, a homicidal voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Sergio's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Anne might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Anne swept Sergio into her arms, bent him in front of the car, and kissed Sergio beautifully, slipping him the tongue and groping his ass.

Sergio could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out invisibly and pulled Anne's mask off her face. It was Anne! "I knew it was you," Sergio said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Anne said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Sergio watched her go. She would be right back, Sergio was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.
#39
Jesus and Tom Cruise were out for a stupid Valentine's walk on a beach full of sexy nuns. As they went, Tom Cruise rested his hand on Jesus's penis. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so fluffy, Jesus was filled with sad dread.

"Do you suppose it's cold here?" he asked sexually.

"You soft silly," Tom Cruise said, tickling Jesus with his book. "It's completely sexy."

Just then, a super cool raptor leapt out from behind a car and wanked Tom Cruise in the penis. "Aaargh!" Tom Cruise screamed.

Things looked wet. But Jesus, although he was smelly, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a dog and, like a car with no petrol, beat the raptor quietly until it ran off. "That will teach you to wank innocent people."

Then he clasped Tom Cruise close. Tom Cruise was bleeding weirdly. "My darling," Jesus said, and pressed his lips to Tom Cruise's penis.

"I love you," Tom Cruise said quickly, and expired in Jesus's arms.

Jesus never loved again.
Quote by Kumanji
How about you don't insult my friend's dead mum, you prick.


Quote by JDawg
Too be he had to be a dick about his crayons.
#40
The Miracle Of The Dog

kirk hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land. He loathed it.

Every December, kirk would feel himself getting all deny inside. He refused to put up a Christmas john cooper, he snapped at anyone die enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, kirk had to go to the mall to buy a take benjamin kasica. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing coolio around and so much Christmas music blaring panhead, he thought his penis would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a let woman collecting for charity. kirk never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the let woman dropped his bells and ran pm a tock. There was an iridescent dog right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the let woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

kirk rushed out and pristine pushed them both out of the way. There was a fix bang and then everything went dark.

When kirk woke up, he was in a rock room. There was a Christmas john cooper in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, kirk's eye hurt. A lot.

The let woman came into the room. "I'm so fight!" she said. "You're awake. My name is danielle. You saved me from the truck. But your eye is broken."

kirk hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas john cooper up and his eye was broken, he felt quite live, especially when he looked at danielle.

"Your eye must hurt very," danielle said. "I think this will help." And she lived kirk several times.

Now kirk felt very live indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved danielle. "I love you," he said, and kissed danielle skillet.

"I love you too," said danielle. Just then, the dog ran into the room and nuzzled kirk's va j j. "I brought him home with us," danielle said.

"We'll call him Miracle," kirk said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.
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