#1
So i was thinking maybe i could have some sort of philosophical discussion here on UG, and my topic for the day is the concept of a relationship and free love.

A relationship can be many things, but for the sake of this discussion lets try and stay in the topic of dating types of relationships, straight or gay it doesn't matter in this case.
Now before I go into that, lets look at a type of friend, a best friend. My definition of that is a person you can trust, a person whom you know a lot about, a person who you've shared many different experiences with, someone who will be there for you, and some one who you can just bond with.
Now I believe it is ok to say that you love someone, despite your sexuality. Just like how men can fall in love with women, and visa vera, women can openly say they love there close friends, we can say we love family members, and all sorts of things like that. I believe that love is not a sexual thing, but more so a level of how much two people have bonded with each other, and how well they can relate to each other and support each other, similar to the things a best friend does.
Now my posing question, what is a relationship (a dating one in the case, or even as far as marriage), besides a quest to find a new best friend, in this case lets just say the relationship is between a male and female.
Now besides the quest to find a "new best friend" another factor is thrown into this, and that would be various sexual activities. Besides from that, the only difference between a Boyfriend or Girlfriend, and a plain best friend, is sexual activity.
So the next question I am going to pose, is why do so many people frown upon things such as casual sex (in the case that it is done safetly, ie using protection, various forms of birth control) (and certain religious beliefs). But why can't to people enjoy the feeling of pleasure just because, why do we often just have to have a reason of being in a relationship. Just like how people might listen to music, eat foods that might appeal to their sweet tooth, use certain drugs, just to experience some kind of pleasure, why can't the same concept be applied to sexual activities (being that both people are okay with it) but why is it that most people wouldn't be like yeah whatever why not, now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying just go out there and do this with random people, cause I can see where that might make some people uncomfortable, because you never know what type of person you'll run into, but lets say it was someone who you kind of know, or just a normal friend, that you really feel dating wouldn't help, but look at it as just something to do, and please no Seinfeld references.
#2
My wife frowns upon me having casual sex.
So I don't tell her.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#3
Well i think if your already in that kind of a relationship part of it is dedicating yourselves to each other, but i was more so referring to if two people were single.
My advice weather your joking or not is tell her or else the wrath will be returned 3 fold if she finds out on her own, that can be the difference between life, and life with out balls.
#4
Quote by khalil1220
So i was thinking maybe i could have some sort of philosophical discussion here on UG, and my topic for the day is the concept of a relationship and free love.

A relationship can be many things, but for the sake of this discussion lets try and stay in the topic of dating types of relationships, straight or gay it doesn't matter in this case.
Now before I go into that, lets look at a type of friend, a best friend. My definition of that is a person you can trust, a person whom you know a lot about, a person who you've shared many different experiences with, someone who will be there for you, and some one who you can just bond with.
Now I believe it is ok to say that you love someone, despite your sexuality. Just like how men can fall in love with women, and visa vera, women can openly say they love there close friends, we can say we love family members, and all sorts of things like that. I believe that love is not a sexual thing, but more so a level of how much two people have bonded with each other, and how well they can relate to each other and support each other, similar to the things a best friend does.
Now my posing question, what is a relationship (a dating one in the case, or even as far as marriage), besides a quest to find a new best friend, in this case lets just say the relationship is between a male and female.
Now besides the quest to find a "new best friend" another factor is thrown into this, and that would be various sexual activities. Besides from that, the only difference between a Boyfriend or Girlfriend, and a plain best friend, is sexual activity.
So the next question I am going to pose, is why do so many people frown upon things such as casual sex (in the case that it is done safetly, ie using protection, various forms of birth control) (and certain religious beliefs). But why can't to people enjoy the feeling of pleasure just because, why do we often just have to have a reason of being in a relationship. Just like how people might listen to music, eat foods that might appeal to their sweet tooth, use certain drugs, just to experience some kind of pleasure, why can't the same concept be applied to sexual activities (being that both people are okay with it) but why is it that most people wouldn't be like yeah whatever why not, now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying just go out there and do this with random people, cause I can see where that might make some people uncomfortable, because you never know what type of person you'll run into, but lets say it was someone who you kind of know, or just a normal friend, that you really feel dating wouldn't help, but look at it as just something to do, and please no Seinfeld references.

there is your first problem. good rant tho
Call me Jack
Last edited by srv_king at Jan 19, 2009,
#6
I would say that most people frown on that is that it is something more special that just eating candy or doing drugs. While you could just do it for pleasure, what is the point? In a good relationship, it isn't about the sex at all. The sex is just something that helps the couple become closer; more intimate.
#7
But is the only added feature of a relationship sex, otherwise why not just spend your life with your best friend?
#8
I hear you dog. But its hard cause more emotions will grow from that, and someone can get hurt. But its great while it lasts!!!! haha so thats why we have Precop:

Precop - abbr. (pre-copulation) A mutually binding agreement (usually verbal) by and between consenting adults prior to engaging in casual sex. The agreement stipulates that all involved parties are exonerated from emotional attachment, post coital contact, and any promise of future sex. Any and all disputes arising from said contract should be submitted and negotiated through binding arbitration. This agreement must involve a minimum of two individuals, with the maximum number to be determined in practical application.
Q: So, you stud, are you going to call Tina today?
A: No, I believe that would be a violation of our precop.

UrbanDictionary.Com
#10
yeah of course. But first you have to have the balls to ask that person or at least the certainty he/she will agree, otherwise the relationship (if any: friendship, co worker, school mate, cousin (yeah!) ) will be very weird afterwards, you think?

But in that case, i know ill be the one growing feelings and looking forward to a next time (everything the Precop gets rid of!). But i guess its better than nothing!
#11
It's very difficult not to get attached to someone you have sex with unless you are a person who doesn't get attached ever, or if you hate the person and limit your contact to sex.
Quote by bigwillie
CornLord, you just blew my mind.
#12
The difference is that they are different kinds of love and you treat them differently, Not just sex
I hate my sig
#13
Quote by khalil1220
But is the only added feature of a relationship sex, otherwise why not just spend your life with your best friend?

Yep. That would be the only added bennie.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#14
Quote by Pabli7o
yeah of course. But first you have to have the balls to ask that person or at least the certainty he/she will agree, otherwise the relationship (if any: friendship, co worker, school mate, cousin (yeah!) ) will be very weird afterwards, you think?

But in that case, i know ill be the one growing feelings and looking forward to a next time (everything the Precop gets rid of!). But i guess its better than nothing!


It's only weird, because it's not a norm by societies standards, if it was more common, then you could just be like yeah I did that. I'm not against relationships, I am mainly asking what the difference is between a relationship, and a really close friend
#15
I know this may sound odd to some but seriously....I would never cheat on someone who is with me, that's why she is there for me because there is no space for anyone else. I still can't believe how many people cheat on each other like its a game, I involve my feelings to the max if I'm gonna be with somebody so I wouldn't even dream of doing it. I strongly believe in monogamy if you are with someone, if not idk what to tell you cause I'm christian but I'm not gonna shove anything to anyone so.
#16
I really don't care what anyone else does, I don't have a problem with it, but for me sex is an act of romantic love.
He's a freak of nature, but we love him so.

Quote by John Frusciante
Music isn't the Olympics. It's not about showing other people what you can do with a piece of wood in your hands that has strings on, it's about making sounds that are good.
#17
Allow me the time to reconstruct some thoughts, because this was just a fly by rant, and I've come to some other realizations.
One of the things to keep in mind is that there is a difference between making love and having sex, while both are very close, making love is definitely a bonding thing.
But I will use some of the things in my life as an example, such as looking at my parents whom do have a close relationship. As they have aged, their relationship seems like they are just really close friends, of the opposite sex, that live together, and they don't get it on anymore. So what are they besides best friends.
From my experiences with relations, if i strip away mostly everything that was sexual, I am left with a best friend.
So again, what is a relationship really?
Edit: I do believe I said that in the case that both people weren't in a relationship, then whats wrong with it
Also this thought came to mind after watching some documentary on the hippy era
Last edited by khalil1220 at Jan 19, 2009,
#18
Quote by khalil1220
But is the only added feature of a relationship sex, otherwise why not just spend your life with your best friend?

That's the thing. It's not. I would not like to have sex with any of my best friends, and yet a lot of people liken their partners to a 'best friend'.

So it's.... the same thing but not >__>
Quote by SteveHouse
Also you're off topic. This thread is about Reva eating snowmen.
#19
For example, a lot of my best friends are girls, but I act so differently around them as I act around my girlfriend (Btw we never had sex) but it's still a completely different kind of relationship. Still best friends, but in a different way
I hate my sig
#20
Quote by QuantumMechanix
For example, a lot of my best friends are girls, but I act so differently around them as I act around my girlfriend (Btw we never had sex) but it's still a completely different kind of relationship. Still best friends, but in a different way


maybe its just my mind is wired differently, and i hope not to get flamed for this statement, and maybe im reading it wrong, but you shouldn't have to put on an act for someone else cause they're your gf, you should always be yourself, like if i have a girlfriend i dont do kind an polite things just for her, i also do them for my family members and friends, i retain the same sense of outgoingness, and humor, and things usually work out, or maybe thats why i can't grasp the concept of two of the same things in different forms, with the addition of one thing.
#21
That's not what I was saying. I'm just saying you have a different kind of relationship so your more inclined to do certain things. For example, in most cases if you stare your best friend in the eyes and just start smiling, they're gonna think your weird and possibly falcon punch you, but if you do that to someone whom you're in a relationship with, it just feels more natural. It's not putting on a show, you just feel different about them i guess.


Holy crap I think I just correctly used the word 'whom' for the first time!
I hate my sig
#22
Quote by khalil1220
So the next question I am going to pose, is why do so many people frown upon things such as casual sex (in the case that it is done safetly, ie using protection, various forms of birth control) (and certain religious beliefs).


A lot of text to ask a basic question.

This question has a simple answer. We are all conditioned by society to repress our natural desires for free love. Those in power see fit to impose these unnatural standards of monogomy on us because it controls us and our behaviors and gives them power over us. Marriage in the Western world was designed to give men power over women, now it serves the purpose of keeping "families" within managable, easily controllable parameters.

In short, the institution of marriage keeps people reproducing, without giving them the power to simply do what they want--it keeps our-literally-creative powers within monitorable, controlable bounds.

Also, I'm going to pull a Freud and say that this suppresion of natural sexual desire is pretty much the cause of all problems in the world.

edit* I used a lot of text to give a basic answer.
#23
Well thank you everone for your imput, it truly is helpful, and maybe i can use some of this to kinda rewire my brain a bit
#24
I believe they are entirely different. I would never want to date someone who does some of the things my friends do. My standards for friends are different than standards for women.
#25
The answer is because sex is for reproduction of the human race. Your best friend may not be someone who you want to combine half of your DNA with to create a new human being.
Quote by FrenchyFungus
Hey y'all!!! Me and my friend were over at her house. I we were wonder what guys think when they see a hot girl at the mall or whatever walk by. (We're both pretty as y'all would say "blonde" sometimes).


Quote by rabidguitarist
I just look like some homo.