#1
these are some of the lyrics i wrote to a couple of my songs, one should be in my sig, i haven't changed the working title of it yet, it's called tool of villainy, read the lyrics with the song and see if you can piece them together. I'd post the other song but i can only post one thing per day. enjoy, also crit4crit.

Savior in a Tragedy

Verse 1:
Fear is but a tool
used to bring us down
but we can cast a light
and disapate this fear

(Break)

Verse 2:
Follow the Heart you were given
Not the hate you were afflicted
Do the right and cast the wrong
Before it's too late
It doesn't take long to turn
into the evil that you hunt
It will eat away at your conscious
unless you can right the wrong

Chorus:
You are the hope of our world
the potential hero in this tragedy
We can't find a reason
Why we accepted the fear in the first place
You shall cast a permanent vail of light
And protect us from the shadows
Fight with the unknown
and destroy the tools of villany

(guitar Solo 1)

Spoken re-intro:
"Escape....the only way to be free. I long for the freedom of mind, the freedom of hope i am denied. Fear was meant to be felt by us, but only for things we don't know or understand. Now it is a tool of the media and the politicians. But now there is hope, that lies with the new President. He will banish the fear cast it upon the villains. They will become the victims, of their own conspiracy....."

Clean bridge:
Can't you see you're destiny
is right out in front of you
To Help us change our ways
and re-align our conscious.
You are the savior
You are the hero
In this story of a nation
that has done it self in
Can you help us?
Will you help us?
I think you answered that question
when you were sworn in mister President
Now the walls come down
and there's a tinkle in your eye
That let's me know everything will be okay
everything will be fine

Verse 3:
Please bring the demons to their knees
Bring the angels angels to our aid
bring the darkness to the light
and make us feel relieved
Let us feel alive again
make us feel supreme
Give us our glory back
Destroy what took it in the first place.

(Breakdown)

(Solo 2)

(Bass Solo)

Last Chorus:
You are the hope of our world
the potential hero in this tragedy
We can't find a reason
Why we accepted the fear in the first place
You shall cast a permanent vail of light
And protect us from the shadows
Fight with the unknown
and destroy the tools of villany

(Outro)

Pathetic

Verse 1:
What happened to the life
That we once shared
Gone with the wind
And scattered with the dust
Soon I realized
And was brought back down to earth
Gravity is a blessing
To help you realize
you ****ed up...
(Instrumental Prechorus)

Chorus:
Constantly adhering to the lies that you spill
All in all you feel the wrong...slap you in the face
Constantly at bay with the world you have created for yourself....
Just Listen to your heart...

Verse 2:
I feel as though I've lost a friend
And half of myself along the way
What the hell have I done
For you to be so vain
I don't understand your reason
Why do you put me through this
Just because I said it was over
Doesn't mean that I didn't realize
I ****ed up....
(Instrumental Prechorus)

Chorus:
Constantly adhering to the lies that you spill
All in all you feel the wrong...slap you in the face
Constantly at bay with the world you have created for yourself....
Just Listen to your heart...

Breakdown:
WHAT IS MY PROBLEM
WHY AM I BLAMING YOU
FOR MY SELFISH REASONS
I AM PATHETIC

(Guitar Solo)

(Breakdown)

Chorus X2:
Constantly adhering to the lies that you spill
All in all you feel the wrong...slap you in the face
Constantly at bay with the world you have created for yourself....
Just Listen to your heart...
Constantly adhering to the lies that you spill
All in all you feel the wrong...slap you in the face
Constantly at bay with the world you have created for yourself....
Just Listen to your heart...

(Outro)
#2
I liked both! The first one, the chorus seemed a little... drawn out to me. It would probably make more sense given a musical setting, though. The second one, I really like the 2nd verse and the chorus! Just one thing, what is "the world you have created for yourself"? It seems like the chorus is about the "I" in the song, but for some reason the perspective changes? Or maybe I'm interpreting this wrong.

All in all, I think they're both pretty good. The first one just seems like it could use a little trimming, and the perspective change I was talking about in the second. But good job!