#1
"For My Sister"

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I'm all alone tonight thinking about you.
Is it right, or is it wrong to
waste my time? There's nothing to do
but cry, I want to call and tell you

that I miss you so much when I'm all alone
and when you walk away, out in the cold.
I want you to just be the one I can hold.
I wrote this song only to let you know.

I wanna be ****in' naked with you.
It'd be cool if your mom's there too
and your grandma, yeah, she's real ****ing cute
but I just wanna be ****in' naked with you.

I don't really care if you're dirty down there,
and I suppose I will cope with all your hair
If its that time of the month, I'll get you what you want,
so baby please just let me see your...

room so I can see if you'll keep the house clean.
Make dinner tonight, or we'll get delivery.
If you're not good at making food we can make things work.
Just let me soon you nude. Baby, don't make me jerk.

I wanna be ****in' naked with you.
It'd be cool if your mom's there too
and your grandma, yeah, she's real ****ing cute
but I just wanna be ****in' naked with you.

Just with you, and only with you.
No one else will do, I promise you.
ADELOS
POP PUNK
for fans of...

Motion City Soundtrack, Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World, Transit, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Early November, Fall Out Boy, Jawbreaker, Polar Bear Club, The Story So Far, the Wonder Years, Something Corporate.
#4
I hope this isn't serious, because I chuckled.

Um. Nice work...I guess.

Edit: I want to add that the open invitation in the chorus for your other female family members was the funniest thing about the whole bit.
Last edited by Trudogger at Jan 21, 2009,
#5
LOL. It was funny to me, (no offense).

Wierd, but funny.
Raving Incestual Love... lol.

Good lyrics... it flowed well.
#6
This piece is f*cking brutal kvlt. I laughed out loud a few times.
Totally has that Cannibal Corpse/I Set My Friends On Fire vibe to it, which I guess is what you were going for? Either way it's pretty funny.

I didn't feel like a stanza by stanza crit of this piece would be necessary, sorry. If you feel like crit-ing one of mine, do Out In The Cold
#7
This is (at least, to me) an obviously joking piece, haha.
ADELOS
POP PUNK
for fans of...

Motion City Soundtrack, Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World, Transit, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Early November, Fall Out Boy, Jawbreaker, Polar Bear Club, The Story So Far, the Wonder Years, Something Corporate.