#1
Blink Of An Eye

Chorus

You lied, disguised,
Pulled the wool over my eyes,
Trained assassin,
Knife is in my back again,
Contradict,
Nothing you said ever meant a thing,
Deceit, deceived,
Why did I ever believe?

Verse 1

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest,
If I never saw you again,
Not one more conversation,
No more means of communication,
Take your filth and leave me be,
Cause you're my past, you're my history!
I don't want your kind near me,
I don't want to wear your crown of...

Pre-Chorus 1

THORNS
THORNS
THORNS
THORNS
THORNS
THORNS
THORNS
THORNS

Blink of an eye,
In the blink of an eye,

Chorus

You lied, disguised,
Pulled the wool over my eyes,
Trained assassin,
Knife is in my back again,
Contradict,
Nothing you said ever meant a thing,
Deceit, deceived,
Why did I ever believe?

Verse 2

Now it's alright to contradict,
One minute it's fine,
The next I'm out of line?
Now you're gone and I'm OK.
Remember when you called me?
2 A.M. I was asleep.
Deep inside my senseless dream,
A crying wreck on the other side,
Don't know why I took you back,
You make me...

Pre-Chorus 2

SICK
SICK
SICK
SICK
SICK
SICK
SICK
SICK

Blink of an eye,
In the blink of an eye,

Chorus

You lied, disguised,
Pulled the wool over my eyes,
Trained assassin,
Knife is in my back again,
Contradict,
Nothing you said ever meant a thing,
Deceit, deceived,
Why did I ever believe?

Outro

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest,
If I never saw you again,
Take your filth and leave me be,
Cause you're my past, you are gone, you are history!

-----

Thanks!
#3
No bumping.

If you want critiques on your piece, then go out into the forum and comment on other peoples pieces. Then, at the bottom of your post, ask for a crit back with a link to this thread. When people see that you took your time to comment on their piece, it's more likely that they will return the favour.
#5
For some reason, I imagined this as Linkin Park, with Todd rapping most of it. What kind of rhythm were you going for? Other than rhythm, the writing itself is pretty good. I like that you don't spend too much time finishing a point, but instead jump around, go from idea to idea. Btw, if you'll crit mine, it's in my sig, under the name "Let's Go To Amserdam".
#6
Quote by herby190
For some reason, I imagined this as Linkin Park, with Todd rapping most of it. What kind of rhythm were you going for? Other than rhythm, the writing itself is pretty good. I like that you don't spend too much time finishing a point, but instead jump around, go from idea to idea. Btw, if you'll crit mine, it's in my sig, under the name "Let's Go To Amserdam".


Thanks

Actually yeah I think I wrote it after listening to a long bout of Linkin Park, but the lyrics aren't like them, the music is though

I think the reason it skips around a lot is because I wrote the lyrics a few lines at a time, and took lines that I'd previously wrote a while back. So it's basically like patchworking a song.

I'll take a look at yours