#1
People are week
on their peek.
They lose their prime
in the crustal time.

Said young guy
and started fly.
He was different,
he never fitted.

When he start to think
whole world would bring,
fire and torch to him.
So he can not think!
He was forced to run to hide
to slay that dragon inside.

He always needed to be,
needed to see
In countless waves he spotted
in numerous fought he foughted

he lie down
and hate it!

He was the one ,
he was the only one
Who ever thought that John
could know wright from wrong???

His brain was to admire,
his soul not to hire.
Box isn't broken
but needed to be stolen.

Threat to the lords
came his followers
didn't forced them down
instead slay by the one.

In silent night
now his love cry's
he so smart
needed to be
in dark part
like all
special someone.
#2
the rhyming at the beginning is very forced and to be honest I think that ruined the whole song for me, and after the first verse I couldnt find a consistant rhyme scheme at all I think this has some potential if you just revise it a little
#3
I, personally, didn't like it.
I think it could use a bit more work, especially on the grammar and rhyme scheme