#1
I'm working on these kinda Meshuggah/Bulb/SikTh inspired song atm. Raw & Unfinished. I wish i had the equipment to record this.
Attachments:
hghahah.zip
Last edited by rocky0 at Jan 26, 2009,
#2
This is really good dude. I really love the constantly changing time signatures, although I would personally like something a tad more shreddy...This is really good anyway, sounds pretty haunting and such. Well done.
#3
Dude, this is so evil, it's awesome.

The riffs are good, is it an instrumental? If it is keep it that way cause it has all the good riffs for one. But can still be good if there were lyrics and vocals.

I liked the outro how it had more of a melodic hopeful feel to it finishing of the piece nicely

Yep, so I wouldn't change much, it's pretty good, maybe put a very erie empty intro to sart with like the wind blowing or something then the instruments come in. That would be good, also fade the outro.


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#4
First off, I'm so glad people other than me are attempting to write in this kind of style. I don't feel like such a loser with odd composing tastes now haha.

Aaanyway. I love the riffs. Although, I feel they weren't quiiiite the right rhythm, like, they're fine-ish how they are because they.. just are heh, but they kind of drag in places, as if it needs to be faster (but not like tempo wise if you see what I mean). I like how you incorporated a more melodic section, definately something Sikth would probably do, or of course, periphery (spelling?), but it could do with a much smoother transition. vocals would smooth it out to some degree sure but I just feel as if the guitars could flow into that section a lot better.

I listen to a lot of Arusha Accord [not quite the same style of course] but they are a good example of what I'm talking about. They can shift for a pretty damn chaotic riff into something much jazzier with out it sounding that jarring (jarring in terms of experimental music anyway lol) Ya know?

Just minor points really, but you're on to a winner here, you just need to tighten things up a lot. Lock the rhythms/groove together more, etc.

Oh and while I think about it the strings over riff 1 (I think its 1 anyway) they bug me somewhat, because they stand out a bit too much over the riff, like an after thought almost.

Don't get me wrong, I love this kind of music to bits so I understand how its supposed to sound chaotic and such (probably not the word to use there but I'm sure you know what I mean) But even bands like these a wicked tight rhythm wise you know, even if they're going polyrhythmic or whatever.

All that I have left to say is... get this finished!
We need more experimental prog around here for sure.


EDIT:

Just had a brain wave. Riff 1. I think its the drums that are throwing me off, not the riff per say. I dunno what you could do to change it up though to be honest. The 5/4 feel awkward, though right for thr riff... which didn't make much sense. haha. Oh and where I said the transition to the melodic bit could use work, It actually sounds pretty good on second listen, vocals across the transition would clear up the matter (but you don't need to worry, cus it is gp lol).
Last edited by Of_Wolves at Jan 21, 2009,
#5
man that was so evil my guitar pro crashed and my computer turned off. i havent been able to turn it on since so im using my moms computer to type this
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#6
Hey thanks for all the comments folks!

I kinda suck at drums or I don't know a lot of them so it was rather hard to make the drums fit to this kind of polyrhythmic riffing. And yeah I agree with Of_wolves that the riff 1 sounds somewhat... umm... off. Maybe it's the drums, maybe I should spice it up a little.

And yeah I actually really didn't think about the transitions yet that much. I thought that I could leave them for vocals to do or add those maybe later.

I'm getting some recording equipment in the future, I hope. So I'm definitely gonna be recording all this gp stuff.
#7
If you don't have any problems with it, Would you mind if I had a go at editing the riff 1 drums? See what I can make of them. I mean I do drum a bit but not to this standard, ya know, so I'm not amazing at this kind of thing. Just figure it would be a good challenge and I'm all for helping people out with this kind of music haha.


And on the subject of recording...

Oh hell yes! lol
#8
Quote by Of_Wolves
If you don't have any problems with it, Would you mind if I had a go at editing the riff 1 drums? See what I can make of them. I mean I do drum a bit but not to this standard, ya know, so I'm not amazing at this kind of thing. Just figure it would be a good challenge and I'm all for helping people out with this kind of music haha.


And on the subject of recording...

Oh hell yes! lol

Sure go ahead! I would be very pleased. And if you do have some suggestions to some parts / transitions - then feel free to add them. I will put credits for your thing there!
#9
Holy ****, that guitar is tuned ****ing low, very haunting. I loved it. GCGCFAD, holy ****, i said it again.

it could have been a bit longer. Very good. And I like the fact that the end is melodic and is different from the rest of the song, but it ends too suddenly, and too soon . Please make it longer. And add more eerie riffs and maybe some leads. Good stuff though.

Crit mine. There Shall be Vengeance.
#10
VERY nice. I've been trying to develop my playing style so I can write things like this, not quite there yet. I really like this though, the ending reminds me of earlier Chimp Spanner stuff. I definitely think you should develop the ending a bit more, that's probably my favorite part of the song. Like you said, it's pretty unfinished so obviously there's room for expansion, but you're on the right track.


Return crit plz? :P
#11
Yeah, I'm still working on this one. Slowly but firmly. I don't wanna do things rushed. And yeah it's still raw & far from finished and you neve know where I will expand it to next.

Thanks for the replys once again!

As like Vegiman, I'm trying to develop my style too. This is like one of the first attempts on this kind of riffing of my own. I've done like maybe 1-3 this kinds of riffs before and haven't really played any Meshuggah (except Future Breed Machine) or that kind of stuff. Just listened to a lot and try to catch some good ideas and tricks from there by ear. So I don't end up copying them that much.

And as for the tuning, I wish I'd got an 8-string or a little bit thicker strings so I could tune even lower, hahaha. Planning maybe to get an 8 string guitar this year if all goes well and I get a job for the summerholidays.

Planning to get Line 6 Pod x3 live sometime this year, so I'll try to remember to record this **** or get the song ready for recording !

EDIT: I'm gonna crit your both guys' songs asap!
Last edited by rocky0 at Jan 26, 2009,
#12
Well I had an attempt at sorting the drums out for riff 1, but I'm afraid it still feels a bit awkward for me. Its probably either the 5/4, or the dotted second note. I only changed a little bit in the bar before the melodic section, extra notes in a few places to lead into the new "key" from the second riff 1.

I honestly think you might do well to change that riff, into something more suitable to the driving nature of the music.

Hmmm...

Attached are my changes to the original and a free to use second file with my thoughts of a different riff 1. Sorry if I've ruined it haha! Hope you like it and I'm not wasting my time lol and maybe I've even given you some ideas... who knows?

Shout if you need the in a different format

EDIT: Oh. Here's a link to something I just put up if you feel like returning the favour.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1054965
Attachments:
Ultimate.zip
Last edited by Of_Wolves at Jan 26, 2009,
#13
Quote by Of_Wolves
Well I had an attempt at sorting the drums out for riff 1, but I'm afraid it still feels a bit awkward for me. Its probably either the 5/4, or the dotted second note. I only changed a little bit in the bar before the melodic section, extra notes in a few places to lead into the new "key" from the second riff 1.

I honestly think you might do well to change that riff, into something more suitable to the driving nature of the music.

Hmmm...

Attached are my changes to the original and a free to use second file with my thoughts of a different riff 1. Sorry if I've ruined it haha! Hope you like it and I'm not wasting my time lol and maybe I've even given you some ideas... who knows?

Shout if you need the in a different format

EDIT: Oh. Here's a link to something I just put up if you feel like returning the favour.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1054965

Hey dude!

Good job! Could've maybe noticed them by myself but I really wasn't keen on fixing those things yet but thanks man. You gave me a spark on inspiration now with your spice thrown into the soup! Now it has a loot better flow than before, thanks to you

I'm not really sure though how to continue. I've got some ideas but need to work on them a little bit more for now. Don't know if I should continue with this melodical thing or shift back into heavy again or do something in-between, or maybe just go completely soft...? Hmm...
#14
Intro = ****ing awesome. Reminded me a lot of Meshuggah. Almost TOO much.

Riff 3 had a nice awkward feel to it, I loved it.

Yeah, the clean riff placement and whatnot reminded me a lot of the clean section in Bleed. I loved the transition back to riff 1.

Not sure if that last melodic bit would fit... Seemed really out of place. Like a completely different song. Maybe you could try keeping the heaviness, while making it more melodic?
#15
Quote by RedDeath9
Intro = ****ing awesome. Reminded me a lot of Meshuggah. Almost TOO much.

Riff 3 had a nice awkward feel to it, I loved it.

Yeah, the clean riff placement and whatnot reminded me a lot of the clean section in Bleed. I loved the transition back to riff 1.

Not sure if that last melodic bit would fit... Seemed really out of place. Like a completely different song. Maybe you could try keeping the heaviness, while making it more melodic?

Haha yeah I find some parts really Meshuggahish too. And I noticed that it was kinda like Bleed's haunting melody too. with that clean slow riff and every other instrument going silent. Haha. It was an accident! But I think it's because I listen to Meshuggah pretty much, so I'm still a padawan as it comes to this kind of riffing.

I actually made two new sections for the song today and one of them is kinda like a breakdown with a pretty hard timing.