#1
It can be from anyone, anything, ever!

Here are my top 2

"The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” ~ Ayn Rand

"You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded." - The Office
Why I Love Spanish Women

I'm hoping by "crack" you mean cleavage unless you have some kind of bizarre ass-chest.


Quote by Kensai
Dude, relax. Don't be so rape about things.
#3
Completely out of context, but still funny as hell:

"I said pickle, not horse dick!!"
Quote by fatgraymatt
I love metal but death metal's just a bit too much for me. The most I can get into is serious-illness metal.
Quote by birdman267
schmidty,
I care
Quote by GuyWhoDoesStuff
If I had an axe that could make well formed vaginas I would go out a lot less.