#1
First set of lyrics I've ever posted on here, I wrote these last night. Sort of based around insomnia/writer's block sort of theme (it was 5am)

Let me know what you think!

Night time brings out my creative side
Light the inhibitor
Night time brings out my creative side
Dark the distributor

Fevered scrawls, litter my subconscious
Enlightenment only half an hour away
Just half an hour away
Sending the message

Paper trails
Nothing uncovered

It's like living life in slow motion
Deja vu has become something normal

And I'm always restless
Sleep brings no peace
Sleep brings no hope of reprimand

Only the knowledge, that this is the worst I've ever felt

In between, in between writing
I find myself, I find myself to be lacking
That creative spark
That genius streak

Only the knowledge that I'm not what I used to be

And I know I have to get over this
But there's no hope
No catharsis

No way back from the brink
The edge of the world

I'm less than impressed
I'm less than moved
I should have taken it while I had the chance
#3
Quote by ThatCostsMoney
nah, nothing impressive

thanks for your AWESOME input.

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these could be a nice set of lyrics to a space-y ambient kind of song, but they are mostly ramblings (as most things would be at 5am i imagine).

i think this:
Enlightenment only half an hour away
Just half an hour away
Sending the message

could be repeated as possibly the recurring theme of the song (lying awake, waiting etc) but at the same time, i think the repeating of "in between, in between... i find myself, i find myself..." doesn't really work too well. while you could argue that the second ones carry different meanings from the first, i think it's too ramble-y and there's no reason why not repeating them won't work.

overall, i think you captured the essence of insomnia and that kind of thing very well. the piece is quite scattered like the thoughts that go in and out of your head at that time of night which adds to it and as i said, i think it could work very well.

at the moment it's more poetry than lyrics in my opinion, so maybe some tweaking is due if you want to take it more towards the lyrical side. some repetition could help, like you do with "Only the knowledge..." and maybe that section i suggested to help tie the piece together a bit.
"And after all of this, I am amazed...

...that I am cursed far more than I am praised."
Last edited by Sol9989 at Jan 22, 2009,