#1
If the world was stone
We couldn't sell our flesh
We couldn't lose our homes
If the world was stone
We'd need no respect for
A new kinda hero
If the world was stone
Change we can believe in
Couldn't tempt a man's soul
If the world was stone
We wouldn't envy wings
If the world was stone
We’d hold no prophets in thrall
If the world was stone
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
RED MILITIA FACTION
#2
If the world was stone
We couldn't sell our flesh
We couldn't lose our homes
I think the use of the word "couldn't" here makes the flow a little discordant and rabid. Maybe punctuation could alleviate the 'problem' a small bit and help break things up into neater sections? I like the idea behind it, though.

If the world was stone
We'd need no respect for
A new kinda hero
If the world was stone
Change we can believe in
Couldn't tempt a man's soul
Once again, the flow here is offputting and doesn't really add a sense of ease when reading this - when it may of made the read more enjoyable and lasting.

If the world was stone
We wouldn't envy wings
If the world was stone
We’d hold no prophets in thrall
If the world was stone
This is good. The problem though for me is that it's too simple and careful. It had your typicaly excellent, simple way with words, but I don't feel I will remember this tomorrow. The point wasn't smacking you in the face - and I don't mean forcing your opinions on me, cause that would suck. It just kind of flutters a little and then ends. No real imagination behind it or intensity. And as that is the case (imo), it doesn't make a lasting impression.
I don't really feel like you believe what you are saying. I don't know how you can change that without changing the whole poem/song.
Sorry I couldn't be of any more assistance.
Good to here from you again. Hope things are all well.

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