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#1
If you could check out three items at a grocery store to completely freak out the casheir, what would those items be?

Mine
1. Cucumber
2. Bottle of KY lubricant
3. Men's Fitness Magazine
#2
1. A magazine about babies
2. A kitchen knife
3. Lube

I'd also run around the block a couple of times to give myself a sweaty and unflattering appearance, along with heavy breathing...
#4
1. Lipstick
2. Vaseline
3. Jam (of the strawberry variation, this is non-negotiable.)
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#9
1. Lollipop
2. Condom
3. Kid's Coloring book.
R.I.P. Jeb
07/31/08

FREEZER BURN s YELLOWFRIZBEE
#10
1. Nuts Magazine
2. Box of kleenex
3. Vaseline

not very original but there would be no doubt in their mind lol
Gibson Les Paul Standard
Ran Custom Invader


Maxon OD9 Pro+
ISP Decimator
Diago Powerstation



Marshall TSL60
Marshall 1960A cab


www.myspace.com/samtewari
#12
a box of matches
petroleum based accelerant (firefox doesn't know this is a word)
real estate magazine
#13
Dog collar
KY
Squash
Current Gear:
Michael Kelly Club Custom 5 Acoustic Bass
Dean Performer Series PE-QM-TGE
Varrios Basic 5 Bass
Acoustic B450 Combo Amp
I support the 2nd Amendment. I don't support people who abuse it.
#14
1. Mouse
2. Keyboard
3. Searchbar
Quote by Grundy0
Never forget what really matters in life, friends and family.
Team Pale Yellow?
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Mom <3
#15
1. KY lubricant
2. rubber gloves
3. carpet cleaner
My Gear:
PRS SE Custom 24 7 string
Schecter C-1 Custom
Jackson SLSMG
Line 6 POD HD500X

My SoundCloud
#16
My friend and I once went to k-mart at 4am and bought the following

1. A little mermaid electronic rotating lollipop
2. A can of Axe body spray
3. A box of trojan "her pleasure" condoms
4. The game "Mortal Kombat: Armageddon"

Needless to say, the cashier was a little weirded out.
#18
vaseline
banana
ducktape

it's for self use


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#20
I remember there was a thread just like this, and it was closed by some piss-mod.

anyway...

1. petrol
2. matches
3. satanic bible
#21
1: Pregnancy test
2: Hanger
3: Vacuum cleaner
Quote by Mudmen190
If loving ham makes me gay, I'm Rob Halford.


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MyNameIsLame just nailed it (actually both his statements did some nailing).


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This is honestly the best first post I've ever seen


^^ Directed at me. E-peen wankery sigs ftw.

My Last.FM
#23
Condoms
Barney DVD's
Alot of cough medicine

or

Bleach
Chainsaw
Trash Bags
Quote by larrytheguitar

I put the blanket over me and make my knees into a 'tent' so he couldn't see my boner. I jizzed while he gave me a lecture on using coasters.


BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME IS ALWAYS RELEVANT
#24
Turkey
Lube
Cucumber
People are bastards. Bastardcoated bastards with bastardfilling.
#25
I'd steal a baby from some unattentive mother and ask the cashier to 'ring this up for me fast, I have a date and I heard she likes kids.'
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#27
Iced cream truck
Large net
Canned tuna (just because I'm hungry)
Mr. Butlertron are you A handsome B smart C scrap metal or D all of the above
Scangrade thats easy I'm A and B but not C, so it can't be all of the above, but you can't fill in two ovals Nooo!
Mr. Butlertron the answer is C... you fuckwad
#29
Quote by neopowell
I'd steal a baby from some unattentive mother and ask the cashier to 'ring this up for me fast, I have a date and I heard she likes kids.'


As a cashier, I would love to have someone try this....I'd laugh so hard, plus I'd call my boss to come over and check it out.

As for me, I'd get

1) Rope
2) Socks
3) Box of rubbers
Last edited by dudius at Jan 23, 2009,
#30
1. Duct tape
2. Kitchen knife
3. Shovel

I was at the checkout of Home Depot with this guy and he takes this feather duster from a bin and starts tickling the hand of the cute cashier. She tries to keep working, ignoring it, but finally she looked at him laughing and said, "Are you for fuckin' real?" It was damn hilarious. Who the hell does that?
#31
A Jonas Brother's CD
Blowtorch
and a tub of lube just for good measure
I defecate all over my clothes to get extra protected
Roses are Red
Violets are Bitchin
God Dammit Woman
Get Back in the Kitchen
#32
Quote by Freezer Burn
1. Lollipop
2. Condom
3. Kid's Coloring book.


lol
#34
Quote by dudius
As a cashier, I would love to have someone try this....I'd laugh so hard, plus I'd call my boss to come over and check it out.


I have a friend who did try and use his baby daughter to pay for a round of drinks once. I assume he was joking, but I still wonder what would have happened if the bargirl had agreed...
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#35
I was actually in walmart lastnight, and i thought to myself, "Wow, i need to buy condoms, a paddle, and a bunch of candy."

So,
1, condoms,
2, a paddle, like for a canoe,
and 3, a lot of candy.
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
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God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


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that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#36
Cardboard box
string
teddy bear
small plank of wood


hope someone gets the reference....
Quote by roythereaper
Nice bum >.> <.<
#38
1. cucumber
2. knife
3. box
Gear:
Ibanez RG2ex2
mega distortion md-2
Metal Muff
Marshall MG microstack
Line 6 spyder hd75 halfstack
Sonic Stomp
Schecter Damien 6
#39
1. Garbage Bags
2. Soother
3. Hatchet
Plays:
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Parker Mojo Fly
Ibanez SZR 720
Tanglewood Evolution
LaPatrie Etude DEMO
'66 Hagstrom Viking I (customized)
SGR C-7 (defretted)
Agile Intrepid 828

Amp, Pedals:
Laney LV300
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#40
someone did this this morning where i work

1. Condoms
2. Lube
3. Bananas and cucumbers...LOTS of them
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