the man living on the corner,
his face wine red,
his lips are blue,
yea he's kind of backwards
but when casts his smile in your direction,
you'll buy everything he has to say.

he'll tell you tales of the woman
of the whiskey, of the straight life.
while his neighbor looks out his window and holds back a chuckle,
"looks like old man evan got another kid to buy some bull****."
Yea he'll tell you anything you want to hear,
you'll fall in love with him
and he'll fall in love with her,
and he'll buy you another round of beer.

That's how it goes every friday night,
so don't walk down the corner of sixteenth and flintwood
with a girl by your side,
or Old man Evan will flash that grin,
and the first time you'll see her eyes sparkle
is going to be because of him.
There is very little to crit here. Very little to complain about. I really enjoyed it. It made me smile and I feel like I can find the real point the more I read it. Which I will do.
It's a little dull, apart from that. There is not quite enough punch in it, or clarity. Nothing poignant that smacks you in the face.
But, there is something about it that is memorable - maybe it's humour - and there are few pieces that have that sense of themselves.
Otherwise, though, it's not really showcasing your abilities. Abilities I have seen you display in far more creative and powerful ways.
But, then again, there's no point me patronizing you. There is a quality to this that makes it almost cute, but in a vile and ugly way, and I'm happy I read it and happy you wrote it.
There are some sections that were not quite worded properly, but there is no point me sectioning them out. You're not a fool. You don't need your diapers changing.

Good work.